Need to get Out More

I love to travel just as much as anyone else does, whether short or long trips. Living in NC is okay as I have been here the major part of my life, but it seems that there's so many more guys that are open and diverse in other states that have bigger cities. I'm open to guys whether straight , bi or gay. Don't get me wrong, NC has all that but it's just different in actually making a connection. Any thoughts?

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It’s a big world fella - if I ever had a chance to move to the US - I’d head to the sunny West coast. Be happy! :)
 
D
Don't confuse online websites with reality. The truth is few really meet up, even in major cities. I've lived in major west coast cities with large gay communities and smaller towns with none. The odds are about the same for both.
 
It's a bit silly and nerdy - but I rely on MBTI types to help detect and hone in on potential, as it can take an actual man a lot longer to open up and reveal himself. MBTI doesn't predict behaviour, but it describes enduring preferences. I just flat out know that I will clash, hard, with most ESTJs across a range of things - so having a system that gives me a warning sign helps me invest my time more appropriately.

DaveSuperPowers on YouTube expands this theory even more and in some interesting ways. For instance Dave and Shan take up the human needs theory and fuse it in as well. So, the world will broadly be divided by people who need more freedom, or more control, and those who need more individuality versus those that need more validation.

In their system everyone is either an observer or a decider, but when you're a decider you have two balanced observer functions and one lagging secondary decider function. I am a single observer (organising abstracts), so I have a balanced approach to identity and tribe, and a lagging observer at the end (gathering data).

Both of my main relationships have been with men who were single deciders (tribe reasons, tribe values), and I mistook them both. Because each has such a strong grip on social appropriateness, work ethic, common sense, practicality etc. I thought they were truly strong people. But in each case their lagging decider (a robust identity, a clarity about their desires, a set of reasons for living that they would offend others over) wasn't developed and this was the crux of what ended each relationship. A lack of a sense of self, where I always mistook their actions for having a strong sense of self (like I have).
 
I grew up in a small city where there was nothing going on - or was there? Cottaging took place most of the time, in the summer a nude swimming place for men only and a gay bar. So it was slow, we had all had or been had by everyone we fancied and yet the lure of the big city seemed to offer a greater choice. How many nights and days did I "cruise" Lots of looks and smiles but not takers, life in the big city was duller than the sticks so much so that my first weekend home found me being invited to an orgy at friends house where I met more guys in two minutes than in three weeks in the so called cock mecca! Funny that I was working where it was thought men grew on trees yet was going home for sex.
 

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NC Andy
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