Objectification

I recently read a thread on here that was discussing objectification.

Anyone who loves big dicks or who has a big dick is involved in objectification, to varying degrees.

I have read several posts about how some hung guys are objectified by women, men, co-workers, friends, guys at the gym, and essentially, anyone who sees their giant bulge.

I love hung men. I admit to being a woman who loves big dicks--but that does not mean that I do not consider the man it is attached to. I like to know someone for who they are. I want to get to know anyone that I am dating, or having any kind of relationship---regardless of their size.

The inverse is true as well---I am more than my pussy. I want any guy I am seeing to value me for more than my pussy and boobs. I frequently have men comment on my amazing tits---and I enjoy the compliments. I do not take it as objectification to get such a compliment---but when it goes no further than how hot my tits are, and a guy makes no effort to get to know me as a person---then I have a problem with that.

Objectification of anyone--man or woman--for any reason is discourteous, selfish and inconsiderate. It is rude, hurtful and could be harassing and discriminatory. But when a man chooses to publicly expose his genitalia on a site such as LPSG---there is a level of objectification that is accepted and even enjoyed. There is an element of objectification when voyeurism and exhibitionism is involved.

I have had the idea of objectification on my mind lately for a specific reason. I have only been chatting online with guys as of about the beginning of 2011. So for about two years. There can be a pattern of objectification among EROTIC chat friends that is unhealthy, if it is allowed to continue unabated.

I have a specific chat friend who has objectified me into his own fetish interest in camming and jerking off on cam. He tries to get me to watch his jack-off sessions all the time. He tries to get me to talk about cocks with him all the time, and he basically does anything he can to talk about what cocks I am looking at online and watching, and the cocks I am actually interacting with in real life, in person. I have become part of his fetish, or rather, his fetish has directed him to continuously involve me in his own fetish interests and activities, since I am his chat friend.

I have repeatedly tried to tell him that I want to get to know him as a person---but he can never talk about anything but what cock am I looking at on what website. And asking if I have been looking at big dicks online.

Now, I feel objectified. It hurts. I have to admit---the fact that the guy has shown zero interest in me as a person---instead of as a size queen--is upsetting. I am not sure what to do about it---I don't want to lose him as a friend and, unfortunately, as a lover either. But I may have no choice but to end our relationship. It is a conundrum. I care for him. There is a part of me that could fall for him--so I am very afraid.

I want to be known as a person--not just as a woman who loves seeing hard cocks. I want to know those in my life too. I want more than just a cam session, a chat session, or a few texts and emails. I do not want to be an object---unless it is an object of affection and love.

Comments

I just read your blog post and I understand what you're saying.
I've had to deal with similar for a short period of time, the difference being I had a choice I guess (see my profile).
It's all OK now and I'm OK with, what I guess, is an in itself "odd" situation.
 
I wonder if sometimes men and women choose not to share more of their personal self on the internet (espeically on sites like LPSG) because they do not want the emotional attachment that getting personal may bring.

Perhaps you are one of the very few women here who are willing to have erotic chat/cam sessions with this man. This would explain his obsession (fetish) of you. He may feel comfortable with the sensual and sexual level of the relationship, but may not be comfortable moving it to another level.

From what I have seen, there are many here that just want a sexual realease without the strings of any type of relationship. Come, have some erotic chat, look at hot pics, jerk off, then go abou their day with no guilt or remorse. I see no issues with this as long as both parties understand the intent of the online relationship.

I agree with you that objectification can be very hurtful and demeaning. In real life, or when looking for a partner (either long/short term or casual encounter) I feel like you. I definitely think there should be more interaction than just jerking off on cam together.
 
what a wonderful astute commentary on objectification you are obviously highly intelligent with a divine sense of awareness I have much respect for you my dear you made my heart weak when you said that you were hurt by his ignoring your request to get to know you but still didnt want to lose this man as a friend ...that is the most compassionate and wonderful loving thought i have ever heard for such a undeserving loser he doesnt care about anything but his own selfish fetish and uses you iconically to fulfill his self absorbed perversion you dont need to waste your time with people like that YOU ARE A STAR ! and you "ARE" an object of love and affection you just havent had it pointed out untill now .
 

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