Old friend?

Many members of my high school graduating class are on Facebook which is how we stay in touch with each other. (I guess I am showing my age). A few months ago I started to get these messages from one of the guys in my class. I had no idea who he was, but things were easy going so no worries. Eventually, he sent me a message asking about why I was still single and why I had no family. I told him it was complicated but that I would tell him when I had some time to think about it.

I'm gay and have known it for a very long time. I never wanted to be and did everything I could not to be, but baby I was born this way. For a long time I did one of those double life things that are no fun. Eventually, when I left my job I was able to come out and live my life. I finally shared basically what I just shared. His response to that story was good for you. Not what I was expecting. Not sure what I was expecting, just not that.

I decided to see who this guy was and if I actually remembered him. I got the yearbook out and there he was. I think he came from a rather poor family, not that I was rich by any stretch, but I just remember him looking ragtag and a bit dirty all the time. He was a nice guy although a bit odd, but I remember talking to him from time to time. I hope that doesn't sound bitchy. I felt bad about him being kind of dirty.

Anyway, I let him know I totally remembered him. He suggested we get together for coffee sometime in the future. I said sure. And then the odd comments started coming in. He said he could feel the beat of my heart when he was lying down and thinking about me. He loved holding men, it made him feel secure. He said he could not wait until we had a chance to really be together.

I am shitting my pants because I am nowhere near ready for that. I decided I should take a good look at his Facebook. There are many pictures of him with a woman and they keep telling each other how happy they are together. How they support each other and love being together. I don't think he is married to her, but he could be.

Suffice to say I am a bit weirded out by his comments. In a previous blog post, I talked about asking God to put a man in my life. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I can't imagine God putting me in the middle of this whole thing. I know there is no sex here or people cumming or stroking off or ass fucking - it is just kind of plain old blog post about a guy who I am pretty sure was gay when he was in high school and had a crush on me when he was in high school (forgot to say that he told me that too). I don't want to be mean and hurtful, but I don't think being involved in this situation is a good idea.

If you want to share your thoughts - please do - if not that is fine too. Just a weird situation.

Comments

The fact he might be with a woman is the least of it. What he is sharing with you should send up a RED FLAG. If you do not have any genuine interest in seeing this person again, it's best to politely decline his invitation. You can or can not give a reason why. There is no reason to enter a situation in which you feel uncomfortable. I understand why the things he is saying are weirding you out. It sounds like he has expectations that are not based in any reality. He is not simply saying, "I would like to see you again." He seems to have delusions of intimacy--but intimate talk is only really appropriate when you are in a relationship. He seems to mentally be in one with you. But it needs to be reciprocal. So politely decline (you can say something, "This is not a good time for me" and wish him well).
 
@godard you are spot on too only your angle about delusions of intimacy - that is what is weirding me out even more - what you added to questionable meat's response was good. thank you!
 
Oh dear. Those sort of cheesy words he is giving you is already a stop sign. One don't even say it to someone when you in a relationship with them. I would have show him the road just there and then.

On second thought he may be BI. He did talked about other men. He maybe want to come out and what better way as with a old crush. For some reason people always wants to reconnect with that person they had a first crush on, heavens know why.

I think you are takeing the right decision and as someone already said here if you didn't like him then why would you like him now, he is still the same person as back then just with more baggage.
 
How did this develop? If I may ask?
In my experience, when someone is making you feel uncomfortable you should be kind but firm when telling him/her you are not interested. Leave no room for misunderstandings.
 
My high school classmates are pretty active on Facebook. We frequently get together so the fact that he found me is not all that strange. When we first talked, he said none of these things, in fact I seriously could not remember who he was. When his comments took a turn for the weird, I looked him up in my yearbook. That was when I realized I remembered him, always thought he was a bit strange and rather immature. He was seriously just off the charts goofy. I like goofy, but like all things, there is a time and a place. Not surprising I suppose he seems to have few boundaries. He wished me well after my accident for which I thanked him. Several weeks later I received a message about kissing and such, and I have not responded since. I asked one of my best friends from high school if she remembered him. She remembered him exactly as I did. She said he was really strange. I appreciate your thoughts and everyone's really.
 

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RobertHunter30
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