On being introverted

People are complex.

I would like to think that we are more than the sum of the labels that get attached to us. Labels such as "straight/gay, black/white, introverted/extroverted, etc/cte".

However, the human mind is not all that fond of complexity. When we encounter something new our mind gets to work to break this new thing down into manageable chunks that get labelled and stuffed into the correct pigeonholes.

I know I do it consciously. If a new concept is being explained to me I'll often repeat it to the person doing the explaining, but I'll try to break it down into as simple a format as possible.

To paraphrase Einstein "When you can explain something to a child in a way that they will understand, regardless of the subject matter, then you have truly understood the subject in question."

Yet, having said all this, I'm not above labels.

For instance, I would say that on the extroverted/introverted-axis I find myself quite far along on the introverted side of it.

I enjoy meeting my friends. I enjoy having interesting conversations about all kinds of subjects. I enjoy going to houseparties at my friends' places (my own flat, when I had my own place, wasn't very well suited for having guests). I enjoy going to the gym, more so on my own than with anybody.

I've never felt at home in bars or nightclubs. When I still drank I would get buzzed with my pals and we'd hit the dancefloor. There we'd stand bobbing to some music I would never listen to otherwise. Then, usually, I'd sober up and realize "What the heck am I doing here? This is so boring." and I'd leave. In time I came to see such places as a drain on my wallet. Even worse, there was no upside! It took my money, my time, gave me a hangover and I had nothing to show for it!

I don't mind meeting new people, but neither do I actively seek it out. I have an easy time talking to new people, for the most part. That is to say, as long as they're at least making a token effort of holding up their end of the conversation I can carry a conversation pretty well, even if I say so myself.

I'm good at speaking to an audience, in fact it's something that I have even enjoyed, on occasion. At least as long as I have had opportunity to prepare: being caught with your pants down, so to speak, in front of audience is not all that fun. A good save could turn a misstep into a funny aside, though. It all depends on the audience.

So yeah, I'd say I'm introverted. I'm not yet some shut-in that only comes out at night to pick up the bizarre and obscure items he's ordered over the Internet. But I am more comfortable in less crowded and more intimate situations than I am in those public, loud and strangely anonymous places such as the bar and the nightclub. I don't go to parties if I don't know anybody there, or if the only person I know is somebody that I only know vaguely.

I've been wanting to write about this since I read an article in a swedish daily newspaper. It was about how the world is designed to accomodate extroverted people, and really, only extroverted people.

Everything seems geared towards wanting to shove your way to the head of the queue and just grab whatever you want. Everything seems geared to reward the birds of paradise that show off their colourful plumage.

"Look at me! Look at me!" and people do, and shower rewards upon them.

The article also wrote about how, because of this situation, people who would identify as introverted have to act as extroverted to get ahead. They have to suffer that discomfort, of going against the grain of who they are, just to get where they want to be.

I suppose it would be easy to just dismiss introverted people as lazy cowards, but I don't accept that. I refuse to accept that. Introverted people work just as hard, if not harder, than extroverted people. It's just not as visible, because the introverted people will most likely not go "Look at me! I'm doing something! Isn't it great?". No, they work in silence and hope the quality of their work will be enough.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this, and I realize that the tone is sliding towards ranting.

I suppose it's because I've often preferred to be true to myself. To be myself and to not bow and scrape to get where I would like to be. I suppose it's because I've realized that in reality, who you really are isn't worth a damn unless you are something that others want. And the way the world is built leads to others wanting extroverted people. Or people who can fake being extroverted. And I despise lying, pretending. Yet I realize that is precisely what must be done. I have to be what I am not to get what I want.

And I hate that.

But it doesn't care what I think, because that's the way it is.

Comments

So true!

Om du har en länk till den artikeln vore det väldigt intressant att läsa den :)
 
Peeps with a bit of autism don't care about being on the outside. Hehehehehe!!!

In fact they are amused by the human condition, more than wanting to be part of it.
 
Introverted, to me, is someone who is comfortable with themselves and can find ways to entertain themselves.

Extroverted, to me, is someone who is comfortable in large crowds and can easily find conversation with a stranger on the sidewalk.

Both are positive traits. Nothing to be ashamed of with either trait. I am an extrovert, my husband is an introvert, yet we get along wonderfully and have kind of rubbed off on each other.

And Wirmboi make an interesting observation, which is very true. And that, too, is a positive trait.

Traits and characteristics of human behavior are only negative when they are hurtful to others, or when those rare uncaring (better than thou) individuals poke fun at others, because they are not like them.

It's all in how you look at yourself.
 

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Zorgolio
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