I've got so much stuff on my mind these days but I've been keeping alot to myself and keeping it locked inside. For me, that's not a good thing to do. Stresses me when I can't voice or express what/how I feel about something. I think I just didn't want to bring things up...IDK. I feel like I've become no longer interesting or something, am I saying this right? Because really, I can only tell someone that I miss them so many times or let them know that I think about 'em and I really feel like they don't give a shit. I've tried to get back to that place where we were...I miss those old times. Another thing that I didn't like a few weeks ago (but I didn't say anything) was how a line was drawn in the sand and a hand put up and basically told, not beyond this point. I feel like at that time I had no say in the matter. Like the rules were made for me. If that makes any sense. I love how we can overcome things but I just feel......IDK...like I'm not being allowed to give my all...or something. Maybe I should say the hell with it all and just go to school and focus on that and that alone. The bigger part of me doesn't want to. I care for him and I do know that he cares for me......maybe I'm just conflicted...somehow...IDK I don't mean to offend or anything like that but I do feel that I matter...my feelings matter...just as much as the next person. Maybe I should just sleep on it all or pay no mind to any of it or just roll over and be gone...IDK I'm so fucking conflicted and other than this blog, don't wanna talk about it...maybe I'm scared....maybe I'm afraid...maybe I already know the answers.... and why the fuck am I crying over it?