One day I noticed that I am a bator and I have no problem with it

Most men like to masturbate for obvious reasons, but among them there are a huge group of guys who dedicate much more force and attention to this activity. I wasn't in that group originally, however, over the years I realized that cock-jerking is an important part of my lifestyle. After that I described myself as a bator for the first time and I stopped hiding this truth from myself.

I admitted this for absolutely no reason at all, but I know that several different events and experiences have led me to this point, or I just grew up to it, like so many other things. Anyway, I decided to describe all my most important episodes and share it below because I think it will be the best way to represent what I feel. Each story is a different stand-alone chapter, but all of them together show how my approach to the subject of male masturbation has changed.

Let me know in the comments which part you found most interesting and why. If you have similar experiences or other thoughts it will be nice if you also say something about it.

1. We all feel the same way. Group session in a mountain cottage [2009]​

In the early summer of a few years ago I spent a weekend in the mountains with a quite large group of buddies. At the end of the first day we went to an old wooden house, where we were going to spend the night. The owner gave us a large attic room with many beds located side by side in two rows. The cottage had no internet access and our phones were out of range so we had to look for other activities. During evening conversations, when we had already showered, one of us found an amateur erotic story under his bed. The finder read the first few sentences aloud and quickly intrigued others, including me. Then we started reading together.

In short, the text was about the first night of an experienced French guy with an innocent young virgin girl. The action takes place in the 19th century, but it might as well have happened today. The man, several years older than the girl, at the beginning showed her his big cock and in detail described what she could do with it. Then he started licking her pussy and when she began to understand in all what his big cock could be to her, the girl opened up to him and they started copulating. The man break her hymen and fucked her hard despite her pain and tears, feeling the size of his cock and the tightness of her hole. In total he cum four times in her, and when he finally felt exhausted he suddenly pulled away from the girl. When the man fell asleep and his cock began to get small and soft, the young girl grabbed his cock with great passion, opened the foreskin and took it in her mouth. The man woke up shortly after that and discovered that the girl really enjoyed this game. He explained to her that his cock needed a rest after such an intense ride and promised to show her other positions in the morning. At the end the girl agreed and they both fell asleep dreaming about what they would be doing the next day.

After reading I felt horny. The heat hit my head and my body burned. I was hoping no one would see this, but I noticed that my mates looked similar. We knew we were incredibly excited, and we all tried to hide it. I don't remember if my penis stood in my shorts, but if not, I was close. Then I knew I had to do something about it, go to the bathroom or outside to shake out my cock and relieve my excitement, but I was afraid that it would be suspicious or someone would go there with me. However, I think others have had similar dilemmas, because like never before, they tried to hide their crotches behind pillows or backpacks. And probably, exactly like me, they hoped that once we went to bed, the excitement would pass, but…that didn't happen.

When we went to sleep and the lights turned off - there was a strange silence. My cock quickly became fully hard and all I wanted was to take it in my hand. In this silence it was difficult, but pretending to change my position to a more comfortable one, I took my clean and hard cock outside my shorts and grabbed it. Next, before I started pulling on my shaft, I took a break to listen to my surroundings. Mates in the beds next to mine were frozen, but mates lying on the other side also tried to get a better pose, or at least I thought so. Trusting my ears I felt safe and with great enthusiasm I started jerking my cock carefully and quietly under the covers.

photo-blog1.jpg

Darkness and the long blanket gave me private space to relieve evening tension​

As my foreskin moved up and down like a well-oiled machine and my shorts were at the level between my knees, I was thinking about the story we read before bed, but also about the fact that probably several of my buddies in that big room are trying to satisfy themselves, exactly like me. I wanted to be like this guy in an erotic story, have an orgasm four times in a row, and at the same time, I was turned on by what I was doing among others. All because I quickly gained confidence that there was more than one hard cock in the room. I knew that they also would not fall asleep before they got to the final point. The room was no longer completely quiet, mates were wiggling on their beds, but no one was bothered by these sudden movements. I still tried to do it as quietly as possible, but at some point, I felt that I lost control of what I was doing. I was close and my whole body just wanted me to reach orgasm.

Efficiently and confidently, I pressed harder and harder on my cock, so that I felt I would soon shoot out. Then I thought that I can't give my sperm to a strange bed and sleep until morning covered in sticky liquid. Risking recognition, just before the moment of cumming, I slid my cock beyond the edge of my cover and bed to let my cum flow onto the wooden floor. It was a quick move and could have been noted, but I didn't care. After everything, I quickly hid under the bed cover and breathed a sigh of relief. Hearing the work of the other guys I placed my cock back in my shorts, turned my whole body to the other side of the bed, and quickly fell asleep.

I slept very soundly at night and felt rested when I woke up. I didn't even remember what had happened during the night until I looked at the floor next to my bed and the traces of my semen. I quickly washed off the white stains with a piece of paper and then looked around at the others beside me. No one commented on what happened during the night, but I felt a bit ashamed because everything happened as if according to an unwritten rule: I haven't seen your cocks, you haven't seen mine cock. Especially in a situation where we were all declared heterosexuals at the time so that only our girlfriends could see our cocks in full erection. After breakfast, we continued on our way through the mountains, and I enjoyed the new experience.

Today I think our room would look interesting in the eye of the camera with night vision. You know, a big group of men wanking off under the covers. It would be weird and funny, but it also showed our problems and male solidarity.

What's more, I think it was pure coincidence that the erotic story was there and we found it under one of the beds. Although on the other hand, perhaps someone left it there on purpose for people like us. It's hard to say because I didn't ask anyone about it, and then I never went back to that place again. Since then, many things have changed strongly, just as I have changed, but that story and that cottage in the mountains are firmly in my memory.

Conclusion: This was the first time I realized in all seriousness that masturbation was not just my problem because it turned out that as men we feel the same at certain times and know the same solution to it. Somewhere deep in my mind I always knew that jerking off was a normal thing, but when I experienced it around others I could realize it better. It was important, especially at that time when jerking was just a method of relieving tension for me because the strategic goal was to find a person with whom I could realize myself in the sexual sphere. It was also probably the first time I didn't feel guilty after sperm flowed from the tip of my penis as a result of masturbation because, after all, I was not the only one who did it at the time. However, after cum I always felt guilty and after each time I tried to forget what I was doing.

2. Pre-planned outside cock jerking. My cumming on a wild beach [2010]​

It's hard for me to believe it today, but I used to enjoy bathing in the river. In the summer, I had to plunge into wild waters with seaweed and fish at least once a week. My favorite beach by the Ren River was located at the junction of the borders of Germany and Switzerland, and it was there that I usually enjoyed the watery delights of nature most intensively. But I wasn't the only one, because it was a popular place that attracted many locals every day.

This beach had great advantages: was a bit far from the city, was well hidden among the trees, and had the necessary infrastructure including toilets. But I valued other aspects of it as well, that is, the opportunity to swim and sunbathe among ladies with exposed breasts and among gentlemen with well-built torsos. However, it also had a less positive side. When I was in the water the strong current of the river, accidental touches near my swim shorts, and the view of half-naked beachgoers sometimes worked hard on all my senses and my cock.

With this in my mind, one day I made a wild decision that if need be, I would try to wank off near this beach. It was not a good idea, because even before I got the bike to the place, I already felt excited, and it was difficult to control myself while pulling off my clothes. When I was only wearing swim shorts I quickly ran into the water before my cock could react. But while I was up to my waist in the water, I noticed two pairs of ample breasts and a big bulge in a muscular man, and that was enough for me. Immediately I swam away because my member was getting harder and harder with every second. The only thing I thought about was to start jerking off.

Fortunately, a few days before, I had already selected a place where I could feel comfortable and satisfy my wild need. I swam downstream and came out on a small sandy bank on the German side which was sheltered by lush bushes. My shorts were swelling, but before I took them off and stuck my penis out I looked around to examine my surroundings. I was pleased to note that there was no one around and the chosen location was suitable. However, in the distance, I still could see the beach and people swimming around it. As not to give others a chance to detect me on this bank I hid myself tighter between the bushes and when all I could hear around me was water and birds I felt more confident and took out my stiff thing. At first, just in case, I tried to look like a guy who pees, but things quickly changed.

photo-blog2.jpg

It's was difficult to simulate peeing when my cock was still growing in the eyes​

When my cock head slipped out and the shaft reached its maximum length I knew that it was too late to turn around and get back in the water. The hard thing in my crotch saw the brightness of a day, felt the pleasant warm temperature, and was ready for anything. Then I thought "It's now or never," and gripped my shaft tightly in my left hand. Nobody could stop me.

Standing wide-legged, with my swim shorts below the buttocks, I started to intensely jerk off my penis. Doing this I felt wild and very excited, but at the same time a little ashamed. The law-abiding part of my mind admonished me that what I was doing outside on the bank of a large river was not within normal limits and if I was detected then shame would be the least of my problems. However, it was too late to stop. My cock was long and hard as the stem of a reed that grew beside me, and my balls concentrated on what was about to happen soon. In turn, in my mind, I saw how, together with the guy whose muscles I saw on the beach, we delved rhythmically into the pussies of these two ladies with large exposed natural breasts and how sharp but determined our movements were in the eyes of other people on the beach.

The image created in my mind of public group sex with strangers made a white liquid flow onto the gold sand from the tip of my penis. With each load of my cum I felt myself getting more embarrassed, but at the same time, I gained knowledge of another, previously unknown level of intensity of sensation. I felt exposed to the whole world, I was embarrassingly vulnerable, but faithful in my human primitive structure. What's more, when I saw the water take another white and dense drop of my cum, I felt the disarming emptiness in my balls and the weight of human sperm. If at this moment someone would ask me what I am doing here, I would answer that I am enjoying my existence, free will and the power of my penis. Nothing else.

When my cock finished pumping I put on my shorts and stepped into the water. Tagged with strong emotions, shaking inside, I stood in the water until my cock reached its usual size. At the same time, I surveyed the area to make sure that no one had seen me in this moment of weakness. Then, still a bit embarrassed, I swam to my beach and tried to behave as usual for the rest of the day. But it was not easy, after I struggled with guilt. On the one hand because, according to the plan and with full knowledge, I played unceremoniously with my cock while outside. On the other hand because in my imagination I created a vulgar image with random innocent people. However, everyone was minding their own business and enjoying another warm summer day and when I was coming home in the evening my mind was clear again, but the image of that entire afternoon is firmly etched in my memory.

Conclusion: It was my first time jerking off outside in a place where anyone could accidentally see me and another time when the need to jerk off was stronger than me. In addition, I have found that masturbation outside provides a completely different experience than when I do it inside my home. In turn, this opened me up to other such experiences in the future. There were not many of them, and they were not a show of too much boldness and courage, but nevertheless I did it and no one saw me. On the other hand, I was wondering if this need is normal and if everything is okay with my mind when I'm horny. After each session outside, I felt doubly guilty, but fuller satisfaction was more important than that.

3. Lost control because of my cock. Mad session in the land of lakes [2011]​

It was mid-August a few years ago when a group of friends and I went on a one-week vacation and rented a lake house. It was a typical tourist place full of houses, but the distances between them were large and it was difficult to see neighboring properties. This made it possible to really relax there. In addition, right next door was a private lake with a wooden pier, and further away was a large resort complex on another large public lake. I really liked the private lake next to our cottage and I also liked the bigger one with all the infrastructure for tourists, but not enough to go there every day and spend most of the time there among the crowds.

On the third or fourth day of our vacation, I decided that instead of going to the public beach at the lake with mates that day I would just sit in front of the house reading a book. No one was surprised because everyone knew that I love to read in front of my own house on summer days and besides I don't always feel like being among a lot of strange people. Sitting in a deckchair or something similar, I said goodbye to others and delved into the contents of a classic detective story by a well-known English author. A light warm breeze blew unhurriedly, and the birds chirped pleasantly. I felt that in this environment I could really take my mind off everything that was bothering me and forget bad things of the past weeks.

But when only all my companions disappeared over the horizon something exciting awoke in my head and began to interfere with my reading. At the same time, the wooden house and its discreet location seemed to say that all this space already belongs to me alone and I can do anything I want here. The tall trees growing around the house seemed to bend and form a dome that tightly covered the entire property, the sun hid above the clouds and the whole area became silent. At one point I felt not like a reader of a pre-war English detective story, but like the protagonist of a horror and supernatural fiction novel by a best known and richest American writer. Then I didn't know only what my superpower was or where my devil was hiding.

Still holding the book in my hand at one moment I realized what factor makes me see all this and what makes me feel strangely - my super power and my devil in one were inside my shorts. The realization of this led my cock start to grow inside totally uncontrollable. When he got bigger and bigger, I knew I had to take him out and do everything he would ask of me. Although it was still my cock, in this situation in a strange way he scared me a lot. I could feel my member taking control of my brain and clarity of thought receding into the background. My cock wriggled in my shorts like an eel, the moist penis glans rubbed against the stiff material, and my body at the level of my crotch began to burn. From this point only the penis and its needs were important.

Having no other choice I left the book, I took my hard cock out of my shorts, put my main hand firmly around the shaft and started jerking it wildly. After all day my cock was a bit sweaty and sticky in my hand. Above him was the heavy, balmy and sweet scent, and the foreskin was wrapped tightly around the cock head and would not let go easily. Because of this I had to hit him harder and harder.

photo-blog3.jpg

This part of me was slimy like as an eel but the foreskin retracted only after many tough strokes​

I controlled my hand very well, the foreskin moved away from the cock head, and felt many amazing signals, however, this time it was not enough to reach satisfaction. I knew I wanted to experience it more deeply and much more intensely than normal and take advantage of the fact that I am alone and other people are as far away from me as ever. The house and its close surroundings made me vibrate and it didn't want to let me go. I was both a guest of this estate and its prisoner and only good masturbation could set me free.

I got up from my seat and walked towards a campfire deep inside the property where in the evening our group had a good time roasting potatoes in the ashes. Sitting down on a wooden bench, I jerked off again. While my cock was working at full capacity in my left hand I stared at the strangely dark sky above me and thought about what I was doing in this place. Something that couldn't quite be explained. Alone with my cock, in the middle of a large property among the trees, and above all, away from other people. The sky above me was strangely darkened and the silence very poignant, but the conditions were ideal to focus on jerking off.

Moving my hand up and down I felt that my member was not fully satisfied again. He gave great impulses to my brain but I knew I couldn't stop at just this one part of the entire property because it was not the place where I was supposed to donate my sperm. I wasn't sure which would be the best place to do it, but something pushed me to trudge along and try to find it.

So with cock in one of my hands, I quickly walked from this central point toward the house and sat on the front porch and first stairs. This point was an even weirder place to jerk off to me than the previous ones because this is where we used to sit in the morning and drink tea, but this place paradoxically excited my cock even more. Then I understood that the more the place was connected with others around me the better pleasure my penis gave me. Playing very confidently with it I felt like the last man with the last penis in the world and that was amazing.

When I felt a cooler breeze on my skin I decided it was time to go into the house and do something more. With my cock stiff as hell and his glossy head staring upwards, I walked into the living room. Near the door my shorts fell to my ankles so I left them there on the floor. Inside, like some wild creature, suddenly I started to hit my penis against the large wooden table where our whole group had breakfast and then the backrests of wooden chairs where we were all sitting. With each stroke of this meaty mace, more and more of the furnishings were stained with my precum but my cock still wanted more. In this chaos, I noticed that many of my friends' personal belongings lay nearby and these objects seemed to look at me strangely, but I didn't care because my hard cock was the one that dealt the cards in this game. Before I went to the kitchen, I took off my briefs and threw them on the stairs. Naked from the waist down, I stepped into a place where I could never imagine running with my cock out and I started hitting more objects like pots and plates. Then I knew that I would never look at this place in the same way when preparing meals.

After all, I wanted to be outside again. I ran up the stairs and through the room I shared with two friends I went out to a small balcony and I let my cock stand proudly in all its glory for all above that space. At the same time, I allowed the wind to play with my moist cock head and I felt as if the air was doing me a blowjob. It was crazy, and today I know that this balcony was by far the highest and most visible point from which my cock could ever look at the world.

When the head of my penis was dry I went back to my room and threw myself on my bed. I took my t-shirt off and started jerking off my cock like at home. After a short while I jumped to the bed next to me and then to the next bed to get to know the places where my mates slept. I tried to step into their roles and imagine their cocks during stroking. Finally, I decided my bed was the best and went back there to play a little more aggressively. I rolled up my bedding in a roll and put inside it my hard cock to simulate copulation. Trying to push my penis deeper and deeper I thought about what hot things have previously seen beds located in this house. The pleasant smell of wood works on me like pheromones, so I dreamed that one day I would come back here with a nice girl and we do sth much crazier here. This thought made me close to the edge, so I quickly took my cock out, and for a while, I lay looking at the bright wood ceiling. I felt every part of my body and every part of my penis very well and if at that moment my colleagues came back and saw me naked and sweaty, I would have nothing to defend myself.

When I felt that my penis dominated the whole house, I entered the bathroom. In front of the mirror, I assumed various poses and stroked it with my hand as hard as I could. My cock was incredibly reddened, the balls were condensed to the limit, and my left hand was more tired than ever. Then I felt the culmination. I quickly walked over to the sink and pointed the head of my cock inside the center point of it.

And all the charm broke, I lost my power and my devil returned to the dark abyss. I felt as if I ejaculated all my cum into a tight pussy without having a condom or did something even more irresponsible. I was naked inside and outside, completely naked, and my long cock - the one that just a second ago shone in the mirror hard as a rock - was hanging inertly between my legs and looked like he was pretending to be innocent.

I knew that I had to find my clothes. I washed my cock and like a frightened animal, I ran to the room to take a t-shirt. Then I looked for my briefs by the stairs and my shorts under the door. When I was dressed again I felt a little less stressed. It was light outside the window again when I busied myself cleaning the stains from the dining room table and chairs and then the kitchen. I washed the dishes and put all the items. I don't know how long these took, but it all required my full commitment and attention to detail. If someone was watching me, perhaps they would conclude that this whole cleaning situation looks grotesque. After all, I did not kill anyone, right?

When everything was ready I returned to my place in front of the house. I took the book in my hand again and, as if nothing had happened, started reading. After some time, my friends returned and they found me in the same place. I was sure that by some miracle they knew everything and saw everything, but no one noticed that all this time I only read a few pages and no one saw anything strange in the house. Satisfied with this outcome of matters, I returned to my holiday routine but in the back of my head, I kept in mind all the time what I did when I was alone. And it made me feel ashamed inside because such action did not fit my nature.

Conclusion: I never experienced anything like that again later, but it is possible that I would repeat it if I were in a completely new place and on a completely separate property away from people. And definitely on an uninhabited island with my favorite book. But thanks to this event, I understood why some people seem to treat their penises as separate entities. In this case, for a moment, my member showed some independence or at least I thought so at the time. However, everything is in the head and is created there. A person can be creative, write interestingly or paint nicely, but also masturbate unusually. The limit is imagination.

4. Is it okay if an adult male still masturbates? Controversial confrontation [2013]​

In my job at the factory, I had older co-workers who bragged that they never jerk off because their partners always met their needs. What's more, some of them also suggested that men who masturbate after reaching the age of sexual majority are defective, because shortly thereafter they should find holes where their cocks can satisfy all their needs. I found this approach to the subject to be hurtful and derogatory not only for me but unbelievably hard-hitting and very derogatory for their partners. However, I could not tell them anything as a youngster.

One day, when the topic came up again, my work colleague, who was the same age as me and worked next to me, unexpectedly for me agreed with their hard statements and added that he catches his partner at least once a day and cums deep inside her and that he can't imagine jerking off again because nothing gives a man such pleasure as penetrating the genitals of the opposite gender. At the same time, he began to tease me that I do not currently have the same opportunity as him because he knew that I was not meeting with anyone at the time. The discussion ended with the statement that while they can copulate, I have to work every day with my cock in my hand. Besides, my mate happily joined the big stallion club after this conversation and from then on he often liked to announce to me what he was doing with it.

I have always considered myself a peaceful person, so colleagues did not meet my wrath. However, our conversations on this topic sowed uncertainty in me. I began to ask myself if it was all right with me. At the time jerking off was the only way to satisfy my urges. All I needed was my hard cock and my skilled hand, no porn or other stimulants. I knew that masturbation was a natural thing, but still, their words were always somewhere in the back of my mind. I didn't feel the need to be like them, but at the same time, I felt a little bad about it. I could only rejoice in their successful sex life.

Well, sometimes I had to jerk off my cock to relax and refresh my perspective, even right before going to work, which, in a way, was strange to me. Sometimes even before the night shift, which made me very sleepy. However, it was a way of dealing with the stress of my responsibilities. But also with my big fear that at a certain age I might not meet public expectations. Under pressure from my mates at the same time I enjoyed what I was doing alone with my cock and hated myself for it. What's more, for a few months I tried to explain all of this to myself. I analyzed all my failed relationships and how I make new ones. And I knew that with my specificity I would not soon be able to boast of a successful sex life in a short time. I could have accepted that or continued to blame myself. I chose the first option.

photo4.jpg

It's strange, but the evenings before the night shift made my erections really good​

Over time, however, the big stallion club's tough facade began to crumble. I found out that it is not quite as colorful as they say. It was not true that they always got what they wanted and I accepted this not with satisfaction, but with great relief, because it was difficult for me to work among people who created themselves as ruthless sex predators. One guy lost permission to have sex indefinitely because he was rude at a family event. Another mate at the same time messed up too much in his relationship. They both lost access to their beds and admitted to me that they started stroking again. My club since then has counted 3 members, but it's not over.

One day my workmate of my age, who had previously enjoyed laughing at me, confessed that he had become so fixated on his pleasure that he'd only had unprotected sex and, as a result, did something completely unplanned. At first, he was happy with what had happened, but then his relationship quickly disintegrated in pain and he to this day still remembers that day when he accidentally created another life with his ex-girlfriend, and then after that, he could no longer be who he was before he did it. Knowing that he had done something extremely reckless - even though I took him for a reasonable man - I tried to support him in what had happened. But I also felt a little guilty, because this situation looked like fate had dealt him a punishment for insulting me in front of other people. I was never angry with him for insulting me, because he was just young and had the right to make mistakes, also towards me.

Sometime later, this mate turned out to be the one who started initiating the topic of stroking among us again, but this time from his perspective as a bator. He liked to go into detail about his experiences and then sometimes I was afraid that when I entered our locker room I would see him stroking among cabinets but fortunately, it was just my imagination. More people joined in, and in the end, I noticed that most of everyone's time was spent masturbating rather than penetrating. But for me, it was no news at all.

The bad narrative according to which a real man does not masturbate has become completely obsolete, exactly like this one in that people who masturbate are people with defects. No one talked about it anymore and no one repeated it. All of them admitted that this is a normal thing and that it can be discussed openly among other guys. What's more, one day my mate asked: "How is your hand after the weekend?". I answered "Thank you, I think, after all, it still works well", and he said: "Haha, you know... mine hand worked hard yesterday", and the other mate standing further away added to us: "Guys, same here!". Another time at the end of the afternoon shift, the colleague next to me turned to me and said that tonight he needed to jerk off his cock hard and then curled his hand into a fist and showed on his crotch how he would do it. There would be nothing surprising about this if it were not for the fact that he positioned himself as the greatest stud among us. But yes, he also liked to jerk his cock like the others.

Conclusion: The words and opinions of my colleagues were painful and made me think more deeply, but in the end, it was not as they said, because they were the same men as me with similar needs. Besides, as never before I realized that all this complicated and impossibly pleasant machinery - our cocks but not only - was created for one reason only - reproduction. I also noticed how many things are simpler and less expensive when you limit yourself to masturbation. What’s more, it's nice that everyone finally admitted that they masturbate, however, the fact that I could talk or joke with others about it did not change the fact that I did not fully accept what I was doing with my cock when no one could see me. Of course not counting the time when my cock was hard, because then I didn't think about it.

5. Good advice from others. About male masturbation in men's blogs [2014-2016]​

Maybe not many remember about it, but a few years ago the Tumblr blogging platform was very popular. I also created an account there because of interesting content on various topics, but I became addicted when I discovered that it also contains things not allowed on other platforms.

However, this platform has proven to be more than just another site with porn. The content was created by ordinary people like me and presented the interests of users only. They posted favorite photos, videos, or links to external sites on their blogs. Most valuable to me, however, were blogs that also contained text entries, in which authors described their experiences or shared good advice. Some of the authors wrote about such things as cocks or masturbation in really beautiful language and with great personal culture. I was impressed and I read each new entry with great interest because it always gave me something new.

Aussie user M.B. Timothy was the first author I remember. He presented himself as a person promoting masturbation and body positivity and indeed it was. A slightly skinny guy with a hairy torso and a cock of good proportions, not big and not small, with pubic hair, looked like me or any other guy. But at the same time, he was someone worth following. His openness, sincerity, clarity of message, and charisma indicated that he could be a male masturbation cult leader. He just knew how to get through to people. His entries were written in beautiful poetic language and revealed the secrets behind cock-jerking. Writing about masturbation, he drew attention to the essence of the human body and what a man has in his mind. He advised how to do it in such a way as to penetrate deep into yourself and get the most positive emotions from the whole act. All to achieve good orgasms alone, but not only.

melbournebator.jpg

I appreciated every one of his posts and was one of his regular readers. Helped me a lot in understanding this issue and contributed to my acceptance of what I like to do. He convinced me that I wasn't doing anything wrong when I played with my cock more intensively and that I wasn't the only one who had doubts in the past because he had similar thoughts.

Timothy’s blog was very popular, people were writing to him to thank him, ask questions, or share their thoughts. At one point he released his masturbation book on Amazon called “Real Men Masturbate” with a screw on the cover, and I wanted to have it - everyone wanted it. Before Tumblr closed doors for users with adult content, he moved from his activity to Twitter and began to be more active in the real world. To this day, he regularly posts on his profile. He are doing a great job and has a lot of followers, including me.

Little later or exactly at the same time when I discovered Timothy’s blog I also found another wonderful blog about male masturbation, a huge compendium of knowledge about the penis and the male body on Tumblr called “The Masturbator’s Sanctum”. And so while Timothy was a poet, the author of this blog was something between a psychotherapist and an engineer. And for me, both creators complemented each other very well.

The blog had a very well-organized structure, was divided into sections, and had a large table of contents. Right after I entered his blog for the first time, I noticed that the author approaches everything very professionally. He wrote about penises in very literary language, showing the importance of this part of the male body and its impact on pleasure and sensation. He described how to play with cock to reach new horizons, tested different techniques, and tried different toys, but not only. The spectrum of topics in his blog was huge.

masturbatorsanctum.jpg

He explained for example why masturbation is an integral part of being healthy or what is the difference between addiction and daily masturbation by choice. Besides, he is the author of "Masturbation acceptance scale" to which I went back while writing this text to make sure he was right and I got all points, but “An Analysis of the functional anatomy of the male” with an explanation of why the penis glans needs to look like a big knob.

Some of the entries related to the author's own experiences, and these types of posts often opened up large spaces to discussions with others. All because many people could see that their experiences were largely similar, no matter how old they were when they read it, and I think that this social affection built a committed community. Over several years he answered hundreds of questions about masturbation, often very difficult and complicated questions. He treated all persons asking questions with great respect and seriousness and each time he delivered very good answers that analyzed the topic in great depth. This guy really knew his stuff, knew a very good source and, most importantly, was willing to share it.

His posts allowed me to fully disenchant the topic related to masturbation. I think that his experiences and his blog helped many people to understand themselves. This is important because, as the comments on his blog showed, many guys have doubts and sometimes feel guilt over the fact that they masturbate. In addition, his blog showed me that I am not different from other readers. In the poll section, I was able to find out that the majority of users masturbate a few times per week and their 100% or 90% orgasms are due to jerking off. Besides that I found there answers to questions I would be afraid to ask anyone about.

All blog posts disappeared in the end of 2019 by the decision of the Tumblr administration based on its new adult content policy. The author of the blog very much regretted that his long-standing work was removed, but he created new blog in newTumbl. I don't know the name of the author of the blog, but in 2020 he revealed that he turned 50 years old.

Conclusion: The blogs of these two guys made me start looking at my crotch with literary appeal and more care. My penis was no longer just a vulgar instrument in my hands, a machine for easy and intense pleasure. After reading their posts I could notice every detail and all the hidden properties of this part of the men's body and see in our cocks sth absolutely beautiful and incredibly complicated at the same time, which was extremely important on my way to better self-knowledge. They also showed me how to write about the penis and related things.

6. When the internal barriers fell down. My open-minded view of jerking [2017-2022]​

The knowledge and experience I have gained over the years on the topic of masturbation would be insufficient without another important element - full acceptance of what I have inside my underwear. My own rating was below average or worse and I was not a person who gladly exposed this part of the body. This thing worked well, it was making pleasure, but was it aesthetically pleasing to me and others? I doubted it, but I also didn’t talk to anyone more honestly about it. But I also didn't have the courage to start doing it.

You know, my cock was a thing as a thing, like my legs or hand, like any other part of the body. Every day I urinated with it, every few days I jerked it to release semen, and sometimes I gave pleasure to others with it. I didn't ask if it was big enough, and I didn't compare it with others in the locker room. However, one day everything started to go in the other direction. I stood in the way of becoming a bator, a man who gives more strength and attention to his penis.

I accidentally found the LPSG website, out of curiosity I registered here, and then I decided to verify myself to view without restriction the photos that people have added here, because I liked them all incredibly well. Shortly after that I read the first reviews about my cock in the comments, which suddenly began to appear from different people and I noticed that it is not so bad with me. Then I decided to give myself another chance. I started looking at what I have and my sexuality differently. My sessions with my cock on my hand became more intense and gained real depth. What's more I was already not only reading what others were writing, but I could also create my own content and talk to other people about cocks and jerking off. And totally unexpectedly English became the language of my liberation.

At this point my transformation began, many major and minor. One of them was the transformation from a person who strokes for quick satisfaction to a person who thinks more about this activity and sometimes prefers to be on edge. Another one changed me from a hidden person who cannot express what he feels to a person who can easily write about his experiences and share it. But there was more of it.

photo5.jpg

I just finally appreciated what I had and started using it more intensively for my pleasure​

However, my full acceptance of masturbation and understanding of myself including my cock did not mean that I stopped analyzing what I was doing. To tell the truth, I've begun to analyze this more closely than ever before. And what's more, life gave me more situations for research.

One day I caught myself stroking while I was waiting for the courier. Then I had a free moment, I knew he would come soon with important documents for me, but I still preferred to play with my cock at that time. My cock was standing really strong at the time and I felt very good. But in the end my phone rang and I had to go open the door. I swallowed my saliva quickly, hid my hard cock in my jeans and went downstairs, because my courier couldn't wait long. When I opened the door I tried to hide the confusion on my face and the bulge in my pants. I'm sure I certainly didn't look prepared for this short visit, but somehow it worked - with one small detail. Well, I took his pen, and then signed all the documents with the hand that previously I held my cock. When I gave him back his pen I knew I was not a good person. Especially because my courier is a really kind man, and he probably didn't expect something like this from me. What's more, it is possible that this pen was later used by more people, not only him, but also his other customers and traces from the tip of my penis went further into the world. I'm ashamed that this happened, but this is the truth. To this day I am his regular contractor and I hope he was never aware of what happened when he gave me his pen that day.

Later I experienced similar but smaller stumbles. I was jerking my cock in edge and got an important phone call and it was hard to hide my confusion in my voice. Another time, someone suddenly visited me, and I had to quickly hide my cock in my jeans and then walk for a while with a bulge. After several times with these situations I began to wonder if it was all just coincidence or signs of my addiction. However, there was no indication of this. It's just that my sessions now lasted longer and more often during the day, not just in the shower or in bed like before. I didn't do it because I had to.

Apart from that, many different factors still can determine whether I can jerk off my cock, like my mood or general exhaustion. There are days when I don't do it at all, because I'm very busy. Besides, there are situations when I really get blocked. Nothing turns me on. It's hard to jerk off my cock with pleasure when I know that sth bad is happening next door or someone is suffering. But after some time I do it anyway, because I can't do otherwise. I have a mess of a brain, I'am deflated, but at the same time my body demands it of me and it's hard to escape from that.

In opposition to this blockage is what I call a true erection. I didn't know such a thing existed, but a few years ago I met a great guy here who helped me experience it. When I see him, talk to him or get a notification from him then I feel that my heart is pounding like crazy, my brain is full of great sensations, and my soul is full of hope. Then, if I have a moment to jerk off my cock, I know that every cell of my penis will fill completely, the shaft will be rock hard, and the tip of the head will be moist and incredibly sensitive. At first I didn't know if it was more influenced by his great body or his perfect penis but today I know it's his brilliant mind, his big hearth and his clear soul. I discovered that good and sincere contact with someone, even at a distance, can give me something incredibly intense that can't be compared to anything.

photo6.jpg

It is good to know someone who makes the blood in the penis flow more intensely than usual​

Besides, I can say “stop” to myself. Like when I saw my neighbor through the window. He wore only shorts and exposed his huge torso. At this sight the blood began to circulate in my penis, but despite the excitement I didn't grab it in my hand. I knew that then I would have crossed the red line. I would destroy my acquaintance with my neighbor, because I would no longer be able to talk to him the same way as before and look into his eyes. To this day I thank myself for that decision. However, I must admit that I still like to watch him walk around shirtless because it's non-invasive and pleasant. And I would like to have something like it under my t-shirt.

One day I thought that every time I wanted to stroke cock, I would exercise my abdominal muscles. And only after I'm done exercising will I take care of my cock. All to redirect part of this wild energy to something that will have a more long-term effect. And I must admit that I stuck to this gold rule for a while and progress was visible. Sometimes I even did exercises with erection, however, when I one time allowed myself to be distracted, I then abandoned all very quickly. The idea was good but there is no doubt that it is much easier to masturbate than to exercise muscles, because masturbation gives an easy and quick effect that does not require a lot of willpower. Workout, on the other hand, means a lot of effort, for which you need to be highly motivated and do not expect quick results.

Nevertheless, there are more moments when excitement, erection and masturbation drive me to action or give me additional benefits. Quick fun without cum can be part of the warm-up, intense fun with a good finale can open the mind to new ideas, and a long ride on the edge can make me feel warmer when frost and snow outside the window. It's crazy how complicated this part of my body is and how many uses it has. And because of that it is difficult to realize that all of this is created just for reproduction reasons - to open the labia, go deep as possible, moving quickly in and out for mutual enjoyment, and finally leave white liquid inside where men's work ends. I don’t think about it at all, and the older and wiser I get the more it amazes me. It's impossible that something so magnificent could have been created just for this purpose, but it's the truth.

Conclusion: Masturbation for me today is a form of relaxation to reset my mind and a good way to be with myself, but also a way to spend time with other people. I can admit that I like to do it with my cock, I can talk about it, and I don't see anything wrong in this activity, but I had to experience a lot and meet some cool people to get to this place - it was a great journey. Masturbation gives me a lot of reasons to be happy and meets my needs. I’m trying to jerk my cock when I want it and for as long as possible to achieve as much pleasure. I would like my penis to accompany me in good condition for the rest of my life because the pleasure it gives me is also an important reason for facing daily adversities. Apart from that I'm more than sure that my cock will never fulfill the role it was designed by nature to do, but I don't want it to lie soft under the foreskin.

That's why I promise to jerk my cock as hard as I can, as long as it is possible and as often as I can do it. I promise to stand proudly with my erection and appreciate every part of the complicated structure of my hard penis. I promise to take care of his condition, good exposure, and every time give him great reasons for intense sperm ejections.

At the end, I want to thank you and wish you to enjoy your cock as often as you need. This impressive thing is a wonderful tool that deserves your care and devotion and in return will always give you what you want. And it's amazing.

Comments

D
Glad ya made your way through the shame bud! Authentic read.
 
I am still getting through all of your posts here and both LOVE and support you in your adventures. I loved this line and feel that the world needs to recognize this as beautiful and not shameful at all, "If at this moment someone would ask me what I am doing here, I would answer that I am enjoying my existence, free will and the power of my penis. Nothing else."
 

Blog entry information

Author
Marsczon
Read time
35 min read
Views
1,746
Comments
3
Last update

More entries in General

More entries from Marsczon

Share this entry