Sometimes I hate the internet. I had a rambling journal entry about personal ideals and my tenuous grasp on sanity and the web ATE IT.
Readers digest version would be to say a lot of life is going on inside my head. So it is kind of a surprise I function at all rather than in some padded room, laughing and talking and weeping and banging my head against the walls.
What I wanted to discuss in this post are the things that wind me up inside. The thoughts and fantasies that won't leave me alone no matter how much I think they should be quiet. These fantasies give me powerful orgasms when I entertain them while masturbating. These fantasies circle in my head along with my "angels" both supportive and dissaproving until the conflict makes me want to scream.
I fantasize about people turned into some twist of gender. Cuntboys and Dickgirls. hermaphrodites. Forced feminization and the flipside that I look for but can't seem to find Forced Masculinization. I read stories where men have their genitals shrunk or lopped off, or changed. Where they are forced to serve a wife and her bulls who cuckhold him.
I fantasize about sex with animals or aliens.
Some of these will never be a problem in reality because I acknowledge how unlikely or structurally unsound some practices would be. But that doesn't stop them from turning me on.
I read and fantasize about sex among family members (mostly male) or between people with significant age gaps. Like a teen and a child, a adult man of any age and a child or teen, a twenty-something or thirty something and a man old enough to be his father or grandfather. I almost always cast myself in the younger role.
I rebelled against becoming the same kind of man my brother was so much that perhaps the only direction for my love and adulation to turn was to plague me with fantasies about him. Same thing with my father I guess. I want so badly to possess these two male relatives SOMEHOW to have the connection and power over them that sex seems to bring.
I locked away my own Warrior self away, In fighting to lock away the aspects of my Animus given to being the Brute or the Berserker, I locked away the larger portion of the Knight and Hoplite. The Samurai barely retains most of his image. And that is mostly because he is less built around rage and war and agression and more built around Duty and Honor.
Good luck finding the points in all this. *grins* I never promissed sifting my thoughtvomit would be an easy task!
Readers digest version would be to say a lot of life is going on inside my head. So it is kind of a surprise I function at all rather than in some padded room, laughing and talking and weeping and banging my head against the walls.
What I wanted to discuss in this post are the things that wind me up inside. The thoughts and fantasies that won't leave me alone no matter how much I think they should be quiet. These fantasies give me powerful orgasms when I entertain them while masturbating. These fantasies circle in my head along with my "angels" both supportive and dissaproving until the conflict makes me want to scream.
I fantasize about people turned into some twist of gender. Cuntboys and Dickgirls. hermaphrodites. Forced feminization and the flipside that I look for but can't seem to find Forced Masculinization. I read stories where men have their genitals shrunk or lopped off, or changed. Where they are forced to serve a wife and her bulls who cuckhold him.
I fantasize about sex with animals or aliens.
Some of these will never be a problem in reality because I acknowledge how unlikely or structurally unsound some practices would be. But that doesn't stop them from turning me on.
I read and fantasize about sex among family members (mostly male) or between people with significant age gaps. Like a teen and a child, a adult man of any age and a child or teen, a twenty-something or thirty something and a man old enough to be his father or grandfather. I almost always cast myself in the younger role.
I rebelled against becoming the same kind of man my brother was so much that perhaps the only direction for my love and adulation to turn was to plague me with fantasies about him. Same thing with my father I guess. I want so badly to possess these two male relatives SOMEHOW to have the connection and power over them that sex seems to bring.
I locked away my own Warrior self away, In fighting to lock away the aspects of my Animus given to being the Brute or the Berserker, I locked away the larger portion of the Knight and Hoplite. The Samurai barely retains most of his image. And that is mostly because he is less built around rage and war and agression and more built around Duty and Honor.
Good luck finding the points in all this. *grins* I never promissed sifting my thoughtvomit would be an easy task!
