pissed

well that didn't go so well....

today my bf asked me how many partners ive had. a question i didn't want him to ever ask. just bc i know he's not as comfortable with the whole sex thing as i am. which i guess i can understand...

i answered him honestly. and he had a mini flip out.

i don't understand why my number would be a big deal. ya its double his but barely.....

and he had the gall to say: 'i kinda figured your number would be high since i met you at the club..."

wtf.pisses me off. that he judged me at that point, and then would try and talk to me then; and we ended up together.

pissed off as hell

Comments

Not speaking for the entire male community, but I know for a lot of guys, they really want to know how many partners their significant other has had because they want to compare themselves to how the last guys were, they want to know if they are better, worse, how they match up in all areas, etc.

Most guys want to be the best, it's a superiority thing, and they'll do their best to be.. the best. Sometimes, not always, when guys get upset about how many partners their significant other has had is because they think, "Well fuck that's a lot of other guys! How am I supposed to beat ALL of them?"

More of a subconscious, masculentity thing.

I'm sorry he was such a douche about it though.
 
If he is going to be upset about that, then he probably isn't the man for you in the long term. It is just a number. He probably also wants you to act like a total whore in the bedroom with him, but act like a virgin the rest of the time.

Besides, who the hell really wants a virgin? I think the better lovers are the ones with experience under their belt.

I also agree with James, there was no need for him to be such a douche.
 
What an idiotic thing to ask and what a silly reaction, as far as i'm concerned it doesn't matter to me how many men a woman has had before me because its before me, its not my business.

I wish guys wouldn't be so two faced on this subject, why is it ok for a guy to have had more sex partners than his girl? Its old testament thinking like that that needs to be outlawed!!l
 
It's a stupid question and one that can never quite be answered satisfactorily...

My response would probably have been..... what difference does it make? I'm with you, aren't I? (if he is worried about disease, you could just tell him you are clean...if you know you are...) That is the only reason I can figure why a guy (or girl) would ask such a question...

Since you have answered him and got that reaction, just tell him you are pissed.. Tell him if he didn't want to know he shouldn't have asked... and you were honest, at least.
 
i have never asked it of any of my partners, who really gives a poop. you should be pissed off, it screams of insecurity and that usually is the root of mistrust. both really bad for any serious relationship. good luck to you.
 
I'm about the only person I know who likes the question, but doesn't care about the answer. It just seems unfair to judge people by that.
 
My g/f and I have never asked each other about that either. We will ask each other things like "have you ever done this before?" or "where is the craziest place you ever had sex?" but I am not interested in comparing things in the past.

He asked the question, you gave an honest answer. From my point of view, if he is angry about your answer, that is his problem. I think in many situations, being angry is your own problem, because you are in control of your reactions. This is especially true when a person reacts badly to something that occurred in the past that he or she has no control over.
 
Rule of thumb: Don't ever ask a question if you are not prepared for the answer!!!

He needs to grow up.
 
Well, now he's made plain some of his insecurities and you have more information; I'd consider it a blessing in disguise.

Oh, and I generally agree with everyone else: don't ask the question if you can't handle the answer.

Also, many of my partners have had more (sometimes significantly more, more than 2x) the number of partners I've had. I've usually appreciated the skills that come with more experience and practice.
 
thanks everyone for your advice and input! i'm always try to be honest about everything. and it was def a question that he shouldn't have asked if he didn't want an actual answer to.
 

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