I think I've come to a realization. Drinking is affecting my mental health.
I always have fun when I drink. But the next day or even the next few are always downers. I think it is because of the interaction with my medications. My doctor said that if I wanted to drink, I should skip the pills that day, but if I were to do that, I'd get terrible withdrawal pains, so I drink and take the pills in the same day, regardless of what he said.
I should really probably stop drinking. However, I don't really see much satisfaction in my life. I talked to my cousin today and he said he could have a new job lined up for me but not for another two-six months. So, I probably am going to have bear through the whole year teaching. I really am completely demoralized. Drinking doesn't help.
I've been in AA before, but I relapsed. I also didn't like the whole religious angle. I felt uncomfortable there. I know there's an Atheists and Agnostics AA but I'm neither, I'm a Pagan. And plus, there are few chapters of that in NYC...and I don't feel like heading all the way into Manhattan late at night on a weekday. There's no way I'd be ready for work the next day.
I mean I don't drink often. Usually just 1x-2x/wk, and only on the weekends. I don't think I have a drinking problem. My only problem is that I really shouldn't drink at all because of my meds and yet I still do.
So, some might ask why do I drink? Well, if I'm drinking in a social setting, I love the way you can say what you really mean when you're drinking and how people loosen up the social protocols. If I'm drinking alone, I just love really feeling whatever I'm listening to. When I drink alone, I just turn on some music and pretend to be a singer in a band.
I like drinking, but it kills my already fragile mood. I'm going to try not to drink tonight. I already am completely unmotivated to catch up on my work for next week, and I have a ton of it. I don't want to pile it all for Sunday, but I think I kind of have to....
I always have fun when I drink. But the next day or even the next few are always downers. I think it is because of the interaction with my medications. My doctor said that if I wanted to drink, I should skip the pills that day, but if I were to do that, I'd get terrible withdrawal pains, so I drink and take the pills in the same day, regardless of what he said.
I should really probably stop drinking. However, I don't really see much satisfaction in my life. I talked to my cousin today and he said he could have a new job lined up for me but not for another two-six months. So, I probably am going to have bear through the whole year teaching. I really am completely demoralized. Drinking doesn't help.
I've been in AA before, but I relapsed. I also didn't like the whole religious angle. I felt uncomfortable there. I know there's an Atheists and Agnostics AA but I'm neither, I'm a Pagan. And plus, there are few chapters of that in NYC...and I don't feel like heading all the way into Manhattan late at night on a weekday. There's no way I'd be ready for work the next day.
I mean I don't drink often. Usually just 1x-2x/wk, and only on the weekends. I don't think I have a drinking problem. My only problem is that I really shouldn't drink at all because of my meds and yet I still do.
So, some might ask why do I drink? Well, if I'm drinking in a social setting, I love the way you can say what you really mean when you're drinking and how people loosen up the social protocols. If I'm drinking alone, I just love really feeling whatever I'm listening to. When I drink alone, I just turn on some music and pretend to be a singer in a band.
I like drinking, but it kills my already fragile mood. I'm going to try not to drink tonight. I already am completely unmotivated to catch up on my work for next week, and I have a ton of it. I don't want to pile it all for Sunday, but I think I kind of have to....