Well, I've been given an opportunity to write down my thoughts, so I'm going to take it. I can normally be a fairly eloquent writer, but I'm not even guaranteeing total coherence in my writing tonight.
My life feels like a mess right now. I feel as though everyone I care about I hurt and I can't get anyone else to care about me. I feel like I'm in the way and a nuisance.
There's nothing special about me, at least in a good way. Nothing stands out. I have nothing that not everyone else does.
I'm just there. Or here. Wherever. All my life, I've wanted to have something to make other people jealous to make up for my many shortcomings. That sounds terrible though. I wish I could just be proud of myself, but I'm not.
Then there's my lack of experience with women. A recent experience showed me that a woman can find me interesting, but I had to break things off before we got too far. I really need to prove to myself that I have what it takes, and I'm sick of waiting for it.
I just want to feel important. I want to be someone.
My life feels like a mess right now. I feel as though everyone I care about I hurt and I can't get anyone else to care about me. I feel like I'm in the way and a nuisance.
There's nothing special about me, at least in a good way. Nothing stands out. I have nothing that not everyone else does.
I'm just there. Or here. Wherever. All my life, I've wanted to have something to make other people jealous to make up for my many shortcomings. That sounds terrible though. I wish I could just be proud of myself, but I'm not.
Then there's my lack of experience with women. A recent experience showed me that a woman can find me interesting, but I had to break things off before we got too far. I really need to prove to myself that I have what it takes, and I'm sick of waiting for it.
I just want to feel important. I want to be someone.