Returned to normal

So, the bf is feeling much better. How do I know? He's up at 5:30am down in the kitchen surfing profiles over at Silverdaddies.com. His latest hobby. I know I come here and to MySpace, but neither site has an expressed purpose to meet people. Silverdaddies is for young to meet older guys. What purpose does a partnered guy have being on a site like that? Just to look at profiles? I don't think so. At some point in time, I think people began to think I was a head of cabbage.

On my side of the fence, my lack of interest in sex with the bf is a likely precipitator of said behavior. He can't have it both ways. If I'm medicated, no sex drive. Want to have hot sex, I can't be medicated. Catch 22. He puts far more value on sex than I do. I've had so much of it in the last 12 years, that a break from it is just fine with me. I have porn, but I don't even get hard watching it anymore. Therapist says I could just be burned out. Doing 2-3 guys a week for 12 years...that adds up.

Funny. I'm an average looking guy. A 7 as my shallow friend told me. Yet, I've hooked up with some mad hot guys over the years. I remember the best one though. Chris, the Marine from Quantico. He could have had any boy he wanted that night, but he went home with me. Nice.

Some relationships can survive in this state. I hear open relationships work if the mindset is right for both people. That emotional closeness is different from sexual closeness. Whatever. He proposes an open relationship, I'll just pack up and leave.

It's not like I'm not planning and working towards doing that now.

Hmmm...I'd like to meet a guy from here that is longer than 10 inches. Not necessarily to have sex. Maybe to watch them jerk themselves off. I remember Chris J...he was a big boy all around. 6'5" 220# and 11 x 7" cock. I remember thinking "Huh?" when he asked me if I'd try to suck his cock. I had no clue. In retrospect, he was kind of embarrassed by his size. I suppose I didn't help by making him break out the tape measure to measure it.

Ok, I was a slutty jerk back then. I grew out of it. What sucks about that, Chris J was hot. And he was interested in dating. I was more interested in hopping from bed to bed, so I let him go. Once again, in retrospect...that was a mistake. I've had a couple hot boys want to date, but as usual, I wanted to bed hop. So, I let them go.

I have to wonder something though. If I'm not medicated, would I return to my slutty ways? I still know how to pick up the guys, both gay and straight. Would I be a fixture in the bars again or would I do something else with myself? I don't know.

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Kimahri
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