Sex Diary - Porn and Dysfunction

Porn

So I upload a lot. But I actually delete all these images afterwards. I'm not anti-porn, I'm just anti: porn taking up too much space in my life, and I'm anti: porn and masturbation in excess. It's kind of a stupid fixation, but as these images are 95% from blocked tumblr pages, I don't know how many still perpetuate online, so I can't just trash it all. Even though I only upload 15% of what I archived, the best deserves some appreciation at least. So I look and sort, but don't wank.
Masturbation

As a young teen I was a prone masturbator, laying on my belly and thrusting against a T-shirt or something. This was a very bad and high-friction way to being a mastubatory life. Eventually around fifteen or sixteen I learned to use my hand. It began just as a flat palm downwards stroke to mimic most closely the flat surface of the mattress. Somewhere in my teens I was put on Prozac (they don't do this for young people anymore), which massively impacted my ability to reach climax and dragged out masturbation to fifty minutes or more.

Later in life it just became a habit to masturbate daily, at night before bed, on the PC and with porn. It was common for these sessions to last from 30 to 90 minutes, and became the 'normal' way my body understood arousal and ejaculation.

Sex

From 25 to 37 years of age I climaxed only three times from fucking and five or fewer times from oral. I had low confidence, low erection quality, anxiety and low satisfaction.
NoFap

Between six and nine months of abstinence from masturbation I started to really notice that my body had started to heal from dysfunction. I started climaxing regularly for oral sex and anal sex. I had a two year relationship in which I never had an issue finishing from fucking. I wasn't perfect at this abstinence, but all healing and gains seemed cumulative over time. Main goals here was not to binge on stuff that induces dopamine over time - so when I had to cum, I'd aim to do it quickly.
Sex toy

I bought a cheap sex toy to practice fucking with. Also, wearing a condom with this helps to get used to the alien feel of the condom for sex, and also help tune into your body so that you can deal with the decrease in sensitivity. There were a few times were I climaxed in three, four or five minutes with the toy and I almost wept. For me a fast wank was 15-20 mins, and I didn't think I would ever have a normal ejaculatory response. But there it was.
More Sex

Now my priority is to abstain from masturbation, unless I'm getting zero sex. In which case I will have a release about once a week. I took a real knock in the post-break up space, a flaccid confused dick that didn't want to play. But since then I've built back up to fucking raw and with a condom and not having a problem with a satisfying ending.

Comments

Sounds like you've invested some time understanding your sexuality, your needs, and your response to it all. That's great.

For all the tribulation, you seem to have a fruitful and enjoyable sex life
 

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Shofixti
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