She wasn't at work today. But then she was.

Marjorie is trying to finalize a data presentation she's been working on. She had some stuff to deal with at home and didn't make it in to work.

This afternoon she called my cell phone. She wanted to ask about the project, and had I heard anything from one of her team members who's also working on it. I'd heard only that the other person finished it as far as she could take it. It was waiting for Marjorie to finalize. I said she should at least come in to get the Valentine's Day flowers her husband had had delivered to her office. (He had called in the order before they knew she'd be out of the office.)

She stopped in to see me, we chatted a little. Then she went to her office to pick up the presentation, and the Valentine's Day roses from her husband.

She came back to my office, we chatted some more.

She left. Came back a third time. Did I know the coworker's cell number? No, I don't have it.

'I already turned off my computer. Do you know her email address?'

"Yeah, sure," I said. I was a little puzzled. We all have the same email addresses. First initial, last name, @. I don't know how she couldn't have known the address. I told her the address, she wrote it down. Then she left left.

Comments

Sounds like she wanted to maximise time with you. I think the best path to take here is to perhaps clear the air between you two and to make absolutely sure what is going on.

The longer this situation goes on the greater the risk that something unfortunate may happen. We're all just human, and with this type of prodding going on this often bad things could happen.

Step back and be careful.
 
I agree with Zorgolio.

But once you "clear the air" be prepared for a bit of awkwardness (although it sounds pretty awkward to me right now... on your part.)

It's possible that she is not that into you... but then again.. I wouldn't put money on it. She may just prefer the teasing and tempting you...(some folks are like that.)

Like I said earlier. You draw the line in the sand. You create your own private lines and don't be crossing any of hers (you know what they are).

(Still the meeting with the ladies is bothersome to me. Even if you were to reverse the gender roles. Compliments on a person's appearance generally come from people you know well enough to know how you are going to take the compliment.)

And, you know, body language says a lot. I hope when she asked you for the co-worker's information you let out an exhasperated "sigh" and rolled your eyes. And I hop you gave her the email without even looking it up!!! (As IF!) LOL She's not a baby you need to babysit! LOL
 
No, I didn't roll my eyes. I probably would have with anyone else, but it seemed like an eye-roll reaction might be a little too much like flirting. But there was no need for me to look up the address.

Not sure what you guys mean by clearing the air. I can't come out and ask her 'how do you feel about me personally?' can I? I think that could go very wrong.
 
I give up.

At this point you are seeing something whether or not it exists. The issue isn't Marjorie, if she's flirting with you or is unhappy enough in her own marriage to risk an affair at work with her superior. You have a little fantasy in your head, something that spices your day up and has woken something up in you.

The issue is you. What do you want? Your wife or someone else? Fish or cut bait. Because if you want something more than you have or something different than you have, you will fuck up your marriage. Where the mind goes, the body will follow.

What you are playing with now will hurt two families. Heartache lies ahead. So do the right thing.

And I swear, that's my last post or comment on the subject.

Good luck.
 
LaFemme;bt111488 said:
You have a little fantasy in your head, something that spices your day up and has woken something up in you.

I think you're probably right. But it doesn't spice up my day so much as lead to stress. She wasn't at the office yesterday and it was certainly more relaxing without her.

There's no question that I've got an anemic self-confidence, so I probably tend to be overly receptive to others' feelings about me--both perceived good and perceived bad. Then, of course, I reject the 'good' and obsess over the 'bad.'
 
LaFemme and I are of one accord here. The two women giving you the same advice.

As an aside: How often do you think of this lady when she is not around the office? Do you think of her when you are not at the office? Do you feel guilty at all when you think of her? When you are with your wife, do you think of her at all?

Be honest with yourself. (You don't have to respond here... these are ?'s for you to think about to help you eveluate where YOU are in your head.) I agree with LaFemme. This is not about her at all. It is about YOU and what you want. How you perceive the relationship and how you deal with it.

Just for fun. Go back and read all of your blogs together.
Do you see a pattern here? Hmmmm.... yeah.. thought so.

Time for you to do something. Clearing the air can be as simple as saying. "Listen, we need to talk about a few workplace issues." What is disrupting your work? Tell her.
(as long as it is work related and not personal.. ie, her constant interruptions vs. her attire.)

However, you are an intelligent, grown man. From the sound of it, it seems that at times you are letting your "lower head" do the thinking for you......
 
Betty_Cocker;bt111503 said:
LaFemme and I are of one accord here. The two women giving you the same advice.

It's hard to disagree then, isn't it?

Betty_Cocker;bt111503 said:
As an aside: How often do you think of this lady when she is not around the office? Do you think of her when you are not at the office? Do you feel guilty at all when you think of her? When you are with your wife, do you think of her at all?

A little, but not obsessively.

A little, but not obsessively.

No, I don't really feel guilty about thinking of her.

If by "with your wife," you mean intimately, I don't think of her much. That is to say, I don't substitute her for my wife.

Betty_Cocker;bt111503 said:
Be honest with yourself. (You don't have to respond here... these are ?'s for you to think about to help you eveluate where YOU are in your head.) I agree with LaFemme. This is not about her at all. It is about YOU and what you want. How you perceive the relationship and how you deal with it.

Good questions. Helpful, actually.

Betty_Cocker;bt111503 said:
Time for you to do something. Clearing the air can be as simple as saying. "Listen, we need to talk about a few workplace issues." What is disrupting your work? Tell her.
.

I'll work on it.
 
She wasn't ready to leave you and kept finding any excuse possible to see you. Wake up clueless this chic wants your married stick
 

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