What passes for Winter in my part of the world seems to be fading fast. Still a month till Spring's official ETA, but we're already experiencing glorious sunshine every day with maxima around 23 degrees Celsius (or 73 degrees Fahrenheit).
It's still fairly cool overnight and around dawn. The cool mornings aren't bothering me at all - they just provide further incentive to be at the gym by 5.30am and get through a fitness circuit and a few laps before returning home to supervise the daily off-to-school pandemonium.
I'd promised myself I wouldn't get obsessive about weight - I want to shed around eight kilos (18 pounds) in order to put myself at my usual healthy weight of 75kg (165 pounds) by Summer. I vowed not to weigh in for at least a month, but I yielded to temptation this morning and find I've not lost an ounce yet! Naturally I'm rationalising this away on the premise that muscle weighs more than fat. No more hopping on the scales for me until September 1st.
So the cool mornings are fine by me. The cool nights are another matter, however. Having slept alone almost every night for the past eight years, and having slept snuggled close to someone last Saturday night, I'm increasingly yearning to have someone to snuggle up with almost every night. And, yes, my definition of snuggling does include sex!
I have no plans to repeat last weekend's disastrous sexual encounter with Pam. What I plan to do there is encourage her to see a counsellor. I've already spoken with a fellow psychologist whom I much admire and he has indicated a willingness to take Pam on if that's what she decides to do. He's not a personal friend, but Tony helped me immensely a few years ago when I was struggling with grief, depression and feelings of anger against the world. I'm sure he can help Pam too.
In the interim, Pam is spending this coming Saturday with me. The forecast is for further glorious weather and we're going to kayak our way around the vast estuary that literally forms part of my back yard. I want her to just relax and have fun. Afterwards I've planned a barbecue on the back patio and perhaps some silly games of chance with the kids and me.
At present she's living life as she perceives it has to be lived - presenting a mask to the world and not really engaging with or embracing all the wonderful things life has to offer. I know she has been badly damaged and scarred by life thus far, but there's every chance she can become "normal" (as she insists on putting it) with some expert counselling and - here's where I come in - the help and encouragement of a friend.
Anyway, that's enough about Pam for now. Friends have asked me: "How did Saturday night go?" Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink. And I've gone along with the "talked till I fell asleep on the couch" story.
As I said, enough about Pam. Time to move on to something far more important - me!
With Spring in the air - almost - and the new spring in one's step that exercise brings, I'm starting to feel downright randy at times and wondering what, if anything, I should do about it. My trusty right hand is still with me and, occasionally, when the home coast is clear, I jerk myself off watching one of the two porn DVD's I keep hidden in my bedroom. Either that or a quick wank before I fall asleep at night. But, now that the new, super-fit and streamlined me is emerging from a few years slumber, I feel a physical ache to actually have someone to have and to hold.
I'm fairly sure I don't want someone permanently by my side, day-in and day-out, but I'm hoping to establish a close friendship with someone who comes with certain fringe benefits - for us both!
Soon it will be: "Spring is here, the grass has riz, I wonder where my sex life is!"
It's still fairly cool overnight and around dawn. The cool mornings aren't bothering me at all - they just provide further incentive to be at the gym by 5.30am and get through a fitness circuit and a few laps before returning home to supervise the daily off-to-school pandemonium.
I'd promised myself I wouldn't get obsessive about weight - I want to shed around eight kilos (18 pounds) in order to put myself at my usual healthy weight of 75kg (165 pounds) by Summer. I vowed not to weigh in for at least a month, but I yielded to temptation this morning and find I've not lost an ounce yet! Naturally I'm rationalising this away on the premise that muscle weighs more than fat. No more hopping on the scales for me until September 1st.
So the cool mornings are fine by me. The cool nights are another matter, however. Having slept alone almost every night for the past eight years, and having slept snuggled close to someone last Saturday night, I'm increasingly yearning to have someone to snuggle up with almost every night. And, yes, my definition of snuggling does include sex!
I have no plans to repeat last weekend's disastrous sexual encounter with Pam. What I plan to do there is encourage her to see a counsellor. I've already spoken with a fellow psychologist whom I much admire and he has indicated a willingness to take Pam on if that's what she decides to do. He's not a personal friend, but Tony helped me immensely a few years ago when I was struggling with grief, depression and feelings of anger against the world. I'm sure he can help Pam too.
In the interim, Pam is spending this coming Saturday with me. The forecast is for further glorious weather and we're going to kayak our way around the vast estuary that literally forms part of my back yard. I want her to just relax and have fun. Afterwards I've planned a barbecue on the back patio and perhaps some silly games of chance with the kids and me.
At present she's living life as she perceives it has to be lived - presenting a mask to the world and not really engaging with or embracing all the wonderful things life has to offer. I know she has been badly damaged and scarred by life thus far, but there's every chance she can become "normal" (as she insists on putting it) with some expert counselling and - here's where I come in - the help and encouragement of a friend.
Anyway, that's enough about Pam for now. Friends have asked me: "How did Saturday night go?" Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink. And I've gone along with the "talked till I fell asleep on the couch" story.
As I said, enough about Pam. Time to move on to something far more important - me!
With Spring in the air - almost - and the new spring in one's step that exercise brings, I'm starting to feel downright randy at times and wondering what, if anything, I should do about it. My trusty right hand is still with me and, occasionally, when the home coast is clear, I jerk myself off watching one of the two porn DVD's I keep hidden in my bedroom. Either that or a quick wank before I fall asleep at night. But, now that the new, super-fit and streamlined me is emerging from a few years slumber, I feel a physical ache to actually have someone to have and to hold.
I'm fairly sure I don't want someone permanently by my side, day-in and day-out, but I'm hoping to establish a close friendship with someone who comes with certain fringe benefits - for us both!
Soon it will be: "Spring is here, the grass has riz, I wonder where my sex life is!"
