Telling my friends I'm bi.

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So I started college in the fall, and obviously under these circumstances, I found myself being very social. These social interactions often include certain beverages that tend to lower inhibitions. Now, don't get too excited, I'm not confessing to anything hot and steamy here. One night my inhibitions were particularly low, and this very attractive boy walked by. I said, "Wow, he's really cute." Normally, this sentence would be uttered in my head, rather than verbally. Wellllll, lucky for me (and I do mean lucky), my best friend happened to be standing beside me. Her natural reaction was ".... uhhhh.... what?" Completely understandable. She always knew me to like girls. I've only ever been in relationships with girls. I've never said anything like that to her. Hell, I'd never even said anything like that out loud to myself. Well I just kind of looked at her and went "Did I really just say that out loud?" Thus starting the conversation that ultimately ended with me deciding I like guys and girls, and could see myself with either. Now my best friend is a trooper. She took this in stride and didn't falter a bit. I immediately got the 'I don't care at all/you're still the same person/I still love you' speech. Honestly, it felt really really good to finally get it off my chest. She didn't care and told me that she was pissed that I hadn't said anything before (thats a whole other subject though, she clearly didn't get it, but I love her for trying).

Ok, one down, a few to go.

Next, I decide I'm going to have to tell my other best friend. I can't tell one, and not tell the other. That just wouldn't fly. So I call her the next day. After I tell her, she sounds confused. She says, "So you like guys INSTEAD of girls?" Ugh. This is going to be more difficult than I thought. I then explain that, for me at least, I'm attracted to both guys and girls. It's more about who I click with than anatomy, and I (luckily in my view) am attracted to both anatomies, thus giving myself double the opportunity to meet someone I care about. Now she gets it. She's very logical. Something I love about her, she keeps me grounded. Anyways, she says she doesn't really understand why I would like boys, but she understands that this is how it's going to be from now on, and she's ok with it. Nothing is changing between us, except for the fact that we can now compare tastes in men. Awkwarddddddd. Well, I give her my type. No go. We don't have the same taste in men, but that shouldn't be surprising, she didn't like my taste in girls either. She tells me it'll take getting used to, and when I ask for blowjob advice she might have a problem. Time to end that conversation.

I thought it was going to be way harder than it was. Turns out, my friends are a lot more open minded than I thought. Honestly, these are the easy people though. I've still got some hard conversations ahead of me, but hey, it's to be expected. Luckily, people at school don't know me. It's much easier to tell new friends than old friends (at least in my opinion).

Just thought I'd share that and see what other people thought/anyone had similar stories/it could help anyone.

Comments

Well done! It may be more challenging telling other guys. Coming out is now a continuous process for you.
 
Just wanted to add that being gay and being bi are not the same thing at all although when you are first realizing you are gay you may go through a bi stage until you feel comfortable with being gay. Then again sexuality is a lot more fluid then most people are really willing to admit mostly because culture wants you to fit neatly into a pidgeon hole. Most people are really uncomfortable being arch-types and atypical.
 
I agree with all the above comments and would just like to add that I love your words about having the fortune to be attacted to either anatomy; that you see it as an "opportunity" rather than an affliction. Well done, well written and best wishes.
 
I'm third year of college and I only just told one of my girl friends! Was similar to your story in that beverages were involved. I don't remember exactly, but I think she just picked up on a comment where I said 'people' instead of 'girls' or something; very observant, then I couldn't hide my facial expression when she noticed and mentioned it!
That was easy enough, now we hang out and talk boys occasionally.
Telling my 3 male housemates could be more interesting...
 
Yeah, "G"....I'd keep this information on the "down low"....otherwise, you'll get categorized as something else (also not accurate)...people just don't understand, and can't accept bisexuals yet....
 
You won't need to ask her for blowjob advice. For her its a learned skill. Just do unto others, as you would have others do unto you, and you will excel.
 
I'm in total agreement with Dexter. Bisexuality seems to be unacceptable by both sides of the sexual continue-um. Most straights and most gays don't understand or accept bisexuality, and in my experience, both sides of the fence seem to feel threatened by it. I get the feeling that both gays and straights might even have a mistrust of bi people.

I guess people might compare it to a "double agent" in a spy story.

Bisexuals probably remain closeted and invisible to society, probably all society, gay, straight and even a bisexual society, presuming there is one.

With bisexuality being so mysterious, no one seems to know who the bisexuals are, not even the bisexuals. We don't know what percentage of the world is bi, we don't know their shopping habits, musical taste, job description. They seem to be everywhere and nowhere at the same time.

If I were you, I would let people love you for who you are, and form their own opinion of your sexual orientation. For those close to you, it won't matter, and for the rest of society, what they think shouldn't matter to you.
 

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