|------------|
| WARNING! |
|NOT A FUNNY |
| SUBJECT |
|------------|
(\__/) ||
(•ㅅ•) ||
/ づ
In this chapter, we will not have a discussion on light topics. I will present this extreme case, to try to measure how complex it can be to be "on this side of the screen" in front of ... in short, humans. What you are going to read has the sole purpose of discussing concepts such as: "responsibility", "lightness", "emotions", "fear", among others.
FEB 2020: (First contact)
He had a "porn-twitter account", but kind of serious, like trying to find a way to become a professional. Cool, but i was starting so I felt a little unprepared to go on record, or do anything with someone that was maybe looking for some "high standar", even he never say so! But you know, reader, one's likes to think always something to downsize ourselfs.
46min. 11secs - Ended session
After he came, we end up the call, and didnt say "bye", so I always write something to force the other at least to say bye! I just gave u 3/4 of an hr of my life, at least pretend! We eventually play a second time that month (13min 12secs), at the end o that one:
[+30 min] Bye... I gues...
I dont like to take that role, been bossy -out of the games. But I wanted some at least, a proffesional feedback. If u are a little considerated, u can gave a nice "thanks, bye". Well i wasn't having neether.
No cam, or conversation till July. I was "following" his carrer on Twitter. Not much to see actually, but i have not a professional eye, so how could I've know if it was a normal growth. The thing is that we had a small OnlyFans and see seemed to be publishing contect regulary. Even he had interactions with another "models" or guys into the same. Of course I wasnt interested at all in that side, I always stopped in the brief post that descrived his "normal" life, like work, studies, cooking and so 
. I had to know him in a rare way, so I was not impress, but certainlly turned on, but the other size.
When I say, rare, I mean that since day 1, even he never saw me at all, he showed his face, or even fully naked display. Why? He knew that I would be trust worthy? Imposible, no one can see that over a cold screen. So I dont romantize trust, or bet's on trust, always be sure who is in the other side. But he did his bet, and Ive payed good, cuz I have never fail his trust, in all this year i know him, and will never, as with none.
JUL 2020
[23min 46secs]
Yeah I know, when they dont say "Thanks", I play "hurt" and objectify. Now when he says "ty" I play humble
Sessions went along (MUCH): Only in JULY:
Regarding the "objects"... i would say ... not invasive, like external stuff, some cockring, fleshlight, some stuff like that. naturally in the back, i imagine some dildo or so.
So, recap: we were super. We never talked other than kink-session related, but we always get along. I was sawing his day to day stuff in twitter, we were playing regulary on Skype.
All was super! Untill I saw them. Now, I can see that it started slighty. Then a little more precise. After, on the night of JUL 26 2020, he posted a explicit suicidal post on his Twitter.
I remember it, maybe Ive been lucky enaugh to never have been related to that stuff, in any way. But I was shocked. I was in my bed, before going to sleep, scrolling on twitter and it appeard. I saw it maybe at 1AM. I didnt sleep til 5AM. Thinking, just thinking.
But i cant help myself to think about ur recent post on Twitter.
Im not stupid. Things are more transparent that they seem. The only think that came to my mind when I read that, was my reply to you when you one's wrote me for a call: And I sayed "want to banish some thoughts by wanking?"
Maybe im pretentious and should mind my own business. Now is 4.40 and I felt the need to wrote this.
I was so sad about the situation, I end up blameming myself, cuz maybe I, by playing in this way (so frequent and without any other talk) I was deepen any unhealthy behavour in him.
We dindt play again, small chat only. Unltil DIC 2020. 54min 13secs
All cool. We sayed merry christmas and happy new year.
At the end, hes back on track. Like, there's a perfect track when "normal" people goes by? No, of course. But he has been making new arregments in his life, and trying to work along things. I dont like to bring the topic, but i do my best to be a good company if we ever chat And we do it! We have much talking recently.
Confession: Ive been begging him to let me be on cam with him since christmas, but he never wants Maybe I just want to let him see that im as human as him, in my twenty some, trying to take something out of this mad world.
| WARNING! |
|NOT A FUNNY |
| SUBJECT |
|------------|
(\__/) ||
(•ㅅ•) ||
/ づ
In this chapter, we will not have a discussion on light topics. I will present this extreme case, to try to measure how complex it can be to be "on this side of the screen" in front of ... in short, humans. What you are going to read has the sole purpose of discussing concepts such as: "responsibility", "lightness", "emotions", "fear", among others.
FEB 2020: (First contact)
BRITISH MATE (B-M)
You want subs?EDGER
Hello! Its a really amateur stuff. And it seems ur (becoming) a proB-M
Shame.He had a "porn-twitter account", but kind of serious, like trying to find a way to become a professional. Cool, but i was starting so I felt a little unprepared to go on record, or do anything with someone that was maybe looking for some "high standar", even he never say so! But you know, reader, one's likes to think always something to downsize ourselfs.
APR 2020: (First cam/cum)46min. 11secs - Ended session
EDGER
Well... I guess I'll see you arrownd. Bye B-M
Yes, sorry. I was really hunger.EDGER
Ok. ahhah. You are an odd fella, but I like that.B-M
TY.After he came, we end up the call, and didnt say "bye", so I always write something to force the other at least to say bye! I just gave u 3/4 of an hr of my life, at least pretend! We eventually play a second time that month (13min 12secs), at the end o that one:
EDGER
Thanks for playing! You enjoyed?[+30 min] Bye... I gues...
B-M
[+2 days] Hey.EDGER
Until you develop some -even pretending- manners, I wont play with you.B-M
Oh. Ok.
B-M
Hi Sir. Are u avaible?EDGER
Mate, hi. You dont need to "sir" me. I just meant a simple hello, and goodbye. Been sayed that, of course I wanna play.
. I had to know him in a rare way, so I was not impress, but certainlly turned on, but the other size. When I say, rare, I mean that since day 1, even he never saw me at all, he showed his face, or even fully naked display. Why? He knew that I would be trust worthy? Imposible, no one can see that over a cold screen. So I dont romantize trust, or bet's on trust, always be sure who is in the other side. But he did his bet, and Ive payed good, cuz I have never fail his trust, in all this year i know him, and will never, as with none.
JUL 2020
B-M
Would you like to use me? Please.EDGER
Call.[23min 46secs]
B-M
TyEDGER
Nothing to thanks for! See you.Yeah I know, when they dont say "Thanks", I play "hurt" and objectify. Now when he says "ty" I play humble
Sessions went along (MUCH): Only in JULY:
- 33min 14secs
- 37min 51secs
- 16min 42secs
- 21min 16secs
- 54min 12 secs
B-M
Are un into toys of any kind, or another kinks?EDGER
Maybe it's easier for me, if you tell me directly what you want so I can tell u if i can play along. Because u know, maybe im not thaaaaat inmerse in the kink world you like to play. Im not saying I dont like it, I just saying that maybe my simple-tasks edge/milk games are a little lame for u. B-M
Maybe if you just tell me what turns you on?EDGER
Well, im a basic guy. I'm turned on by seen guys "been turned on". Does it make sense? I mean, i can play along with much. And better if they are hot!Regarding the "objects"... i would say ... not invasive, like external stuff, some cockring, fleshlight, some stuff like that. naturally in the back, i imagine some dildo or so.
B-M
Ok.EDGER
So, Im not trying to save my case. Im been honest, if u need some more "experienced" or other guy that is more into ur kinks, i believe u should go for it.B-M
I like you. Cuz we work well.
All was super! Untill I saw them. Now, I can see that it started slighty. Then a little more precise. After, on the night of JUL 26 2020, he posted a explicit suicidal post on his Twitter.
I remember it, maybe Ive been lucky enaugh to never have been related to that stuff, in any way. But I was shocked. I was in my bed, before going to sleep, scrolling on twitter and it appeard. I saw it maybe at 1AM. I didnt sleep til 5AM. Thinking, just thinking.
- What should I do/say? Im not a specialist. What if I screw it, even worst?
- It's for me to say something? Im not a real some in his life, im an anon guy that plays in a kink version of his sexuality.
- At least I knew I wont be runing away of the "trouble" cuz, I already been touched by him, in an odd way, since the first time Ive sayed "Your an odd fella, but I like you". I could not run away.
EDGER
I know that I might be ranked, in ur life, as another anon guy that briefly shares this odd and deep kink.But i cant help myself to think about ur recent post on Twitter.
Im not stupid. Things are more transparent that they seem. The only think that came to my mind when I read that, was my reply to you when you one's wrote me for a call: And I sayed "want to banish some thoughts by wanking?"
Maybe im pretentious and should mind my own business. Now is 4.40 and I felt the need to wrote this.
[We talk about it. He send me an audio, explaining himself. His posts were not necesarly a declaration of "intentions" rather than a speaking out loaud about his problems, as a proffesional had told him to do so.]
Well.. I was releaved. First because -inspite all our communication problems, we did understand each other, in the full extend of the meaning. EDGER
I DO APRECIATE U MADE THAT COMENT. MAINLY CUZ U DONT NEED TO CLARIFY, IM NOT A FRIEND OR SO. BUT U DID, SO THANKS.B-M
A diversion was never the needed. I dont use this to escaped my problems.
We dindt play again, small chat only. Unltil DIC 2020. 54min 13secs
EDGER
Hope there's less than 3 months till next.B-M
You know you can contact me anytime.EDGER
Awwww, no i didnt!B-M
Yeha I don't have to always aks you.EDGER
Damn, we missed much fun.-
At the end, hes back on track. Like, there's a perfect track when "normal" people goes by? No, of course. But he has been making new arregments in his life, and trying to work along things. I dont like to bring the topic, but i do my best to be a good company if we ever chat
And we do it! We have much talking recently. Confession: Ive been begging him to let me be on cam with him since christmas, but he never wants
Maybe I just want to let him see that im as human as him, in my twenty some, trying to take something out of this mad world.
