The Good and The Bad: Pregnancy Sex and New Concerns

The Bad:

For weeks I have been convinced that TheBF isn't attracted to my new body, because he stopped coming on to me. I discovered that the truth is much more worrying.

If I came onto him, he was receptive sometimes, but not enthusiastic about sex. I think we went an entire week without sex. Once he even stopped right in the middle and said he had to run to the bathroom, but he never came back. I heard him walking to his desk and sitting down as I was falling asleep. I complained about feeling unattractive, but no matter how many times he tried to assure me that he thinks I'm beautiful, the fact the he seemed to have lost all desire to fuck me spoke much louder than any of his sweet words. The thing was, he was incredibly affectionate and sweet to me all the time, but not horny. He's always horny.

He made excuses. He said that he missed starting sex missionary style, because he likes starting off face to face. My tender breasts and growing belly have been getting in the way. He said that he was afraid of hurting me. I didn't believe him.

Last week, he finally told me the truth. He's been experiencing internal pain for weeks now and he's been hiding it. That's just like him. He wouldn't want to worry me and he was hoping it would just go away. He's always prided himself on his exceptionally high pain tolerance. The man has had two wisdom teeth drilled until they cracked in half and extracted without any pain blockers, by request, and he boxes for fun. When he says he's in pain, he should be trusted that he's in a lot of pain. After he passed a blood clot, he finally confessed to me what's been going on.

I made a doctor's appointment for him immediately for the next morning. The initial labs that returned indicate that he has some sort of internal "swelling" (this is the only explanation given to him by the nurse) and he has a colonoscopy scheduled for next week. I've been worried all weekend and it's killing me. We don't have any clue what's going on inside him, just that he hurts very badly sometimes.

The Good:

We finally fit together! The pregnancy magazine was correct. I actually got deeper and now his penis fits.

About a week ago, after not having had sex in a very long time, I'm sure it was a week, we were having sex doggy style, and he just fit. No pain at all. I couldn't believe it. I kept wondering if he just wasn't completely hard, when he asked, "Does that hurt?" There was amazement in his voice.

I said, "No..." and he responded with the first of many exclamations of, "Wow!" It's still really cool, even though we both expect it now, and he's finally stopped saying "Wow!" all the time, which was beginning to make me feel bad about sex before I got deeper.

For the last week, he's been extra careful during sex, even though he can't hurt me now, and I wasn't sure if it's been because he's hurt or because of habit. Today when we were having sex doggy style, I started bouncing my butt against his pelvis, forcing the rhythm faster and faster, and suddenly he just took over and fucked me harder than I think he's ever fucked me. It was wild! I loved it! I had forgotten what it's like to have sex when without worrying that a mis-thrust would suddenly cause me pain. It was cool.

I'm going to be sad when I get shorter again.

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