The One Sided Approach to Sex

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Hello,

Thanks for stopping by. I have been around porn for a long time. You may have been as well. The way that porn affects a man versus a woman is most likely much different. When I was growing up most of the girls I talked to hadn’t really seen porn aside from maybe their father’s Playboys that were in his underwear drawer. These days is much different. If you can imagine it, someone has done it and filmed it. It’s right there waiting for you.

Everyone’s sexual awareness/awakening takes different paths. Some more safe and accepting than others. How we feel about ourselves sexually can be shaped by so many different things and is hard to unravel completely when trying to understand it. We all have the things that turn us off and turn us on. I still don’t understand where some of my turn ons come from but I know they are there.

One of the greatest experiences that we can have as human beings is connecting with another human being, regardless of the gender. We hopefully experience feeling understood, loved and cared about. Hopefully our needs matter to that other person. They care enough to want us to feel good. To feel special.

That’s why sex can be a complicated thing on many levels. We have our own singular views about it. What we will and won’t do. What we like. What gets us aroused and what gets us off. What we secretly want to do or have done. Sometimes we have a hard time communicating those things.

One of the common things I have heard from many women over my life is that their partner doesn’t know how to turn them on or help them orgasm. Worse, many times their partners just don’t care. Not once did dick size ever come into the equation as far as why they were unsatisfied.

This is so hard for me to understand. Masturbation is a time when you can be selfish and only be concerned with your own needs, whether it takes 30 seconds or hours. That’s your journey and it’s all about you.
Sex with a partner is a totally different thing. In a perfect world both people are getting their needs and desires met and both are having orgasms, or multiple orgasms.

What I have heard from men I know and also what I have experienced on LPSG is that some men, not all, have a very one sided approach to sex. One of my exes hooked up with a friend of mine before we got together and then again after we split up. She didn’t bad mouth him but she did say he was an incredibly selfish lover, even with over a decade between her 2 experiences with him. Both times it was over before she knew it. Zero foreplay other than her going down on him. He didn’t even try to make it about anyone other than himself.

So many men seem to look at a sexual partner as a cum receptacle. Just a hole to do whatever their heart desires to and leave. I don’t know where this originates from but I have seen the practice celebrated as some sort of achievement by other men. There are threads on LPSG that treat sex like a hunting safari.

The aggressiveness of showing their cock to someone who didn’t ask to see it or verbally attacking a woman who doesn’t share their perspective of sex or won’t confirm to their own agenda that all women want a massive cock and to be plowed into submission with it is so prevalent at every turn.

Now do these men represent all men? Certainly not. Do they represent the majority? Hmmmm. Good question.

What I have seen over the years that I have been a member here has been a range of things from, women that find the site interesting and like the community they have connected with, men posing as women for whatever reason, trolls who just want to rile people up and cause chaos for whatever reason, men who are incredibly insecure about their dick, men who act incredibly secure about their dick but aren’t, men who actually are secure about their dick, men who are incredibly resentful that they aren’t viewed positively sexually and so are lashing out at every chance they get, men who just want to show you their dicks and will post it in the most inappropriate places (you know, like the greeting thread for new members. Where the new member is saying hello and the existing member sees that as an invitation for a cock photo. Kinda scary).

I have seen how incredibly predatory men can be. Whether counting the minutes until some underage celebrity is finally 18 or forcefully telling female members what that female member’s own sexual desires really are. There is an underlying potential for violence and aggression at every corner. This may help explain the incredibly low number of women members here. They get that in everyday experiences as it is. Why would they want to come here only to experience more of it and worse?

So, my point here is…is sex a one sided proposition for you? Do you actually want to connect with another human or just blow your load in a hole? Do you care about being a positive experience for another person or have you abandoned that thought, if you ever had it? Even sex at its most raw “let’s rip off our clothes right now and fuck like animals even though I don’t know your name” doesn’t have to be, and I don’t believe it should be, one sided.
We live in a time where we can actually get real information on how the body works and how we can get another person off. There’s no excuse for ignorance any more. I’m competitive enough that I want my partners to remember me and maybe even talk about me. I want to be the best sex they ever had. It doesn’t mean I will be but that is my goal. I know I’m going to cum. That’s the easiest part of the equation. So how are THEY going to cum? How do THEY want to cum? What have they always wanted to do but never felt comfortable trying? Maybe she wants to get head and only head for once. Maybe she wants someone to go down on her and make her quiver multiple times and then be done…for once. But that can be two sided if both people want that.

This isn’t an attack on men and I’m definitely not pointing fingers at LPSG members because I have met so many incredible people here who really have taught me so much and I’m still learning. I have also met some truly alarming members who concern me, if I’m being honest.

Let’s learn how to really get each other off. If someone is going to trust you enough to get naked with you and allow you to be inside them or them inside you, let’s really do it right. Let’s connect and make good memories with each other. Nice, sweaty, throbbing, quivering, wet memories.
Sometimes sex is just sex but it should still be amazing for all people involved.
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Comments

I felt like a real man when I got my late wife off. Turned me on.
Ego the conqueror maybe.
 
D
It feeds the ego for sure. For me I hate the idea of me getting off and my partner not. I want the experience to be memorable and hopefully great for both of us.
Plus nothing gets me harder than my partner orgasming. That’s the sexiest thing ever.
 

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