I went to get a Slurpee today, as I love Slurpees. It's my only vice, that and Indian moose boxing, so I indulge myself as often as possible. And having gone to many 7-11's and drinking more Slurpees than the population of Montana, I know the workings of Slurpee machines.
The machines come in two flavor machines, but usually two or three machines are put side my side to have four and six flavors respectively. They always have Coke and cherry flavors, then either fruit or Mountain Dew, then some weird sour flavor, then a promotional flavor, then sugar free (i.e. useless Slurpee wasting space).
So at the 7-11, they have the Coke and cherry, so I'm like "good start". Then comes some nasty perversion of Mountain Dew that tasted like jacuzzi water (don't ask me how I know). I let that one slide though, that's the weird sour flavor. Next one, energy drink.
Now, allow me to go off on a tangent, or maybe a cosine if the need arises, to say that the last thing I want my Slurpee to do is give me energy. I don't drink Slurpees to feel energized. I drink them because they are tasty and cold. If I'm drinking a Slurpee, I'm either driving, or sitting on a couch. And for both I want to be relaxed. I don't want to drink a Slurpee and say "Fuck yeah, lets go play some b-ball". No, I want to drink my partially frozen sugar water and watch some Law and Order, or Modern Marvels, or what ever the fuck is on in the afternoon.
Realigning with the circle, the next flavor was some horrible Hulk tie-in that tasted like gamma radiation. The last was, of course, some sugar free one that looks like it hasn't been brought since I've gone in diapers (seven years).
That aside, because I can live with two palatable flavors, the biggest problem is that they are never the right viscosity in summer. In winter, yeah, but not in summer. The correct consistency is that of cold ketchup. It should be able to pile before the weight pushes it down and out. Whenever I go, it's the consistency of hot honey (again with the alliteration). It hits and just flows outward.
So, 7-11, either get the consistency right, get some correct flavors, or put something else in your store for me to drink. But in essence, stop, cease, and desist fucking with my Slurpees.
The machines come in two flavor machines, but usually two or three machines are put side my side to have four and six flavors respectively. They always have Coke and cherry flavors, then either fruit or Mountain Dew, then some weird sour flavor, then a promotional flavor, then sugar free (i.e. useless Slurpee wasting space).
So at the 7-11, they have the Coke and cherry, so I'm like "good start". Then comes some nasty perversion of Mountain Dew that tasted like jacuzzi water (don't ask me how I know). I let that one slide though, that's the weird sour flavor. Next one, energy drink.
Now, allow me to go off on a tangent, or maybe a cosine if the need arises, to say that the last thing I want my Slurpee to do is give me energy. I don't drink Slurpees to feel energized. I drink them because they are tasty and cold. If I'm drinking a Slurpee, I'm either driving, or sitting on a couch. And for both I want to be relaxed. I don't want to drink a Slurpee and say "Fuck yeah, lets go play some b-ball". No, I want to drink my partially frozen sugar water and watch some Law and Order, or Modern Marvels, or what ever the fuck is on in the afternoon.
Realigning with the circle, the next flavor was some horrible Hulk tie-in that tasted like gamma radiation. The last was, of course, some sugar free one that looks like it hasn't been brought since I've gone in diapers (seven years).
That aside, because I can live with two palatable flavors, the biggest problem is that they are never the right viscosity in summer. In winter, yeah, but not in summer. The correct consistency is that of cold ketchup. It should be able to pile before the weight pushes it down and out. Whenever I go, it's the consistency of hot honey (again with the alliteration). It hits and just flows outward.
So, 7-11, either get the consistency right, get some correct flavors, or put something else in your store for me to drink. But in essence, stop, cease, and desist fucking with my Slurpees.