This fight is dragging on way longer than it should. What are you trying to tell me?
Do you not understand that I know -that you know - that the silence, especially in a pandemic bothers me?
Don’t you find it strange I never had the time for real friends while we have been together? Was it because of your insecurities and it was just easier to forgo?
Here is the thing, that you don’t know- that I know.
Your silence and refusing to acknowledge my existence right now is your way of trying to force me into obedience, to ensure you are in control and that you are right.
No one wins with these types of wars. The walls you build never get broken down completely. The concrete is Harding friend, and it’s not going to be broken down easily.
Do you realize I noticed you were in my emails? I don’t open my sent folder but here it was open this morning. Did you find what you were looking for?
Is this silent war about your own insecurities? Haven’t you figured out that the more control you try to put over me, the more caged and suffocated I feel?
Haven’t I given up enough over these years to make peace and make this work? Do you understand what I feel I gave up?
I have given you the chance you asked of me all those years ago and I gave in to try? Is this really how you saw wanting to treat me?
You don’t understand my feelings and shut down anytime I try to talk about them. I do it so gently, but you behave like this so I give in. And slowly you start everything all back again.
Have you not learned from my previous experiences?
I am not then same guy you fell in love with all those years ago. I have grown. I evolve, I push for figuring things out. Why do you push for the same and comfort? Why do you not need or want growth?
Why do you try to raise my blood pressure? Why don’t we have a sex life?
How long will this war go on? As the concrete hardens, it’s going to be leaving a wall between us that is more easily built and harder to break down.
I have just been watching this wall go higher.
Why do I trust a man that wants control and ownership but leaves me so vulnerable? After all these years, if you can’t meet me in the middle and offer other solutions for me to have to do all the work you should be doing, why will you not understand my needs? My wants? My desires?
Are your fears that you may loose me ever going to go away? Right now, should they?
Why won’t you look at me or acknowledge my existence today? If this drags on am I going to want to try anymore? Can I do another 20 years watching these patterns repeat, the wall go higher and the cement get harder? Will we even be able to see each other through the wall in a few years?
Am I the only one that understands these dynamics?
The silence is deafening, but I know it well. In it I can think and it gives me space. It may be uncomfortable, but it gives me the ability to grow and become stronger. Be careful, I may learn too much from this silence.
Do you not understand that I know -that you know - that the silence, especially in a pandemic bothers me?
Don’t you find it strange I never had the time for real friends while we have been together? Was it because of your insecurities and it was just easier to forgo?
Here is the thing, that you don’t know- that I know.
Your silence and refusing to acknowledge my existence right now is your way of trying to force me into obedience, to ensure you are in control and that you are right.
No one wins with these types of wars. The walls you build never get broken down completely. The concrete is Harding friend, and it’s not going to be broken down easily.
Do you realize I noticed you were in my emails? I don’t open my sent folder but here it was open this morning. Did you find what you were looking for?
Is this silent war about your own insecurities? Haven’t you figured out that the more control you try to put over me, the more caged and suffocated I feel?
Haven’t I given up enough over these years to make peace and make this work? Do you understand what I feel I gave up?
I have given you the chance you asked of me all those years ago and I gave in to try? Is this really how you saw wanting to treat me?
You don’t understand my feelings and shut down anytime I try to talk about them. I do it so gently, but you behave like this so I give in. And slowly you start everything all back again.
Have you not learned from my previous experiences?
I am not then same guy you fell in love with all those years ago. I have grown. I evolve, I push for figuring things out. Why do you push for the same and comfort? Why do you not need or want growth?
Why do you try to raise my blood pressure? Why don’t we have a sex life?
How long will this war go on? As the concrete hardens, it’s going to be leaving a wall between us that is more easily built and harder to break down.
I have just been watching this wall go higher.
Why do I trust a man that wants control and ownership but leaves me so vulnerable? After all these years, if you can’t meet me in the middle and offer other solutions for me to have to do all the work you should be doing, why will you not understand my needs? My wants? My desires?
Are your fears that you may loose me ever going to go away? Right now, should they?
Why won’t you look at me or acknowledge my existence today? If this drags on am I going to want to try anymore? Can I do another 20 years watching these patterns repeat, the wall go higher and the cement get harder? Will we even be able to see each other through the wall in a few years?
Am I the only one that understands these dynamics?
The silence is deafening, but I know it well. In it I can think and it gives me space. It may be uncomfortable, but it gives me the ability to grow and become stronger. Be careful, I may learn too much from this silence.