Going back to the bathroom where I first had a poo,
Gonna camp in my lavatory room; I'm not gonna move,
Got some stains on tissue, got a magazine in hand,
Saying if you see a plumber can you tell him where I am,
Some try to hand me ex-lax, they don't understand,
I'm not...sick I’m just a constipated man,
I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do,
How can I move off when I'm in the middle of a poo...
Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder what the hell that smell could be,
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the stained toilet seat,
And you'd see me straining for a turd in the midsummer heat.
So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.
Policeman says son you can't stay here,
I said there's some poo I'm straining for if it's a day, a month, a year,
Gotta stand my ground even if it smells or overflows,
If she has her sense of smell, this is the first place she’ll go.
Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder what the hell that smell could be,
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the stained toilet seat,
And you'd see me straining for a turd in the midsummer heat.
So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.
I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.
People talk about the guy
Who's waiting on a turd...
Oohoohwoo
There are no holes in his shoes
But a big hole in his ...
Hmmmm
and maybe I'll get famous as man who can't finish a poo,
And maybe you won't mean to but you'll see me on the news,
And you'll come running to the bathroom...
Just to see if it’s true…
I'm on the toilet that can’t be flushed
Cos the U-bend is so blocked up…
Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder what the hell that smell could be,
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the stained toilet seat,
And you'd see me straining for a turd in the midsummer heat.
So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.
I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.
Going back to the bathroom where I first had a poo,
Gonna camp in my lavatory room; I'm not gonna move,
Gonna camp in my lavatory room; I'm not gonna move,
Got some stains on tissue, got a magazine in hand,
Saying if you see a plumber can you tell him where I am,
Some try to hand me ex-lax, they don't understand,
I'm not...sick I’m just a constipated man,
I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do,
How can I move off when I'm in the middle of a poo...
Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder what the hell that smell could be,
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the stained toilet seat,
And you'd see me straining for a turd in the midsummer heat.
So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.
Policeman says son you can't stay here,
I said there's some poo I'm straining for if it's a day, a month, a year,
Gotta stand my ground even if it smells or overflows,
If she has her sense of smell, this is the first place she’ll go.
Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder what the hell that smell could be,
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the stained toilet seat,
And you'd see me straining for a turd in the midsummer heat.
So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.
I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.
People talk about the guy
Who's waiting on a turd...
Oohoohwoo
There are no holes in his shoes
But a big hole in his ...
Hmmmm
and maybe I'll get famous as man who can't finish a poo,
And maybe you won't mean to but you'll see me on the news,
And you'll come running to the bathroom...
Just to see if it’s true…
I'm on the toilet that can’t be flushed
Cos the U-bend is so blocked up…
Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder what the hell that smell could be,
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the stained toilet seat,
And you'd see me straining for a turd in the midsummer heat.
So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.
I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.
Going back to the bathroom where I first had a poo,
Gonna camp in my lavatory room; I'm not gonna move,