This is where I ramble about dating.

I go out on dates every so often.

Although I am the type of person who prefers doing most things alone, I do have a desire to be with someone on an intimate level and share my thoughts and feelings with this person. In order to find that person, I go out on dates.

Usually when I ask someone out, they make some kind of excuse or whatnot for not being able to meet, or they say 'yes' and just ignore my calls/emails. But, every so often the odd woman will actually go out with me.

The weeks before a date are always fun for me. I'm nervous and filled with anticipation. I call all of my friends for advice and pointers and even go out and buy new clothes.

After all this preparation and excitement, what usually happens is we go out once and then I never hear from them again. It's rare for me to get the elusive second date.

This really bothers me, because I have to work myself up to go on a date. Hell, to even leave the house and put myself in a situation where I'll meet other people requires an insane amount of mental prep work. I have to convince myself that I'm going to have fun and enjoy myself. I know some people (okay a lot of people) won't understand this kind of thinking, but that's how it is for me. Unless I can convince myself that leaving the house will be more entertaining than staying home and watching a movie, I won't leave the house.

So when I go on a date and she's not interested I do get a little pissed off. I know that's a horrible way to think and that I shouldn't be like that, but I can't help it. I just feel like, "God, I put all this effort and shit, for this?"

Now, I know what some of you are going to say. You're going to say, "Oh, but you have to let things happen naturally. Be yourself and not create expectations, blah blah I'm well adjusted." Well these people are just stupid. No one is going to like me if I just act like myself and let things happen naturally. I'm boring. Nothing happens naturally for me. I have to make something happen, or nothing happens.

Anyway, I've been rambling on for awhile now and I don't even remember most of what I wrote. Anyway, I just want to say, dating sucks.

Comments

it's a numbers game. pure and simple. go on more dates, have less anticipation and fewer disappointments. anything less rare becomes less important. expect postive results.
 

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wallyj84
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