Today was a costly day

On my way to work a guy flags me down and shows me that my front right tire was going flat. I examined it and found a slash in it. Didn't look man made. I managed to get my truck to a garage and the guy told me that all of my tires were dry rotting and that I'd have more problems down the line. So, I went on and had my tires replaced. When all was said and done, $578.49. Not bad, but very unexpected.

I've been musing about relationships a lot recently. I think one of the other problems that I face is that I don't know what I want out of a relationship. The earliest memories of relationships I have are of my mother and father. What poor role models they were for that sort of thing. My therapist said that played into my relationship issues. Maybe it's just not that time.

One thing I've managed to get around. An insecurity that I've had since I've been on this site. I was intimidated by the large guys on here. Those large guys with the hot bodies made it even worse. I'm just an average man with an above average penis...I think (just shy of 8 x 5.75"). I think I've lost out on things because I was insecure about myself. And "they" weren't lying...people can tell a confident person. I wish there was a way to gain more confidence. I used to have liquid courage years ago when I used to drink heavily. But as I'm facing the world sober now, things don't come as easy for me now. I'm self conscious. I've let myself fall out of shape. I'm going to the beach this coming weekend and I'm dreading it. All those hot bodies milling about and me wandering around with a Fred Flinstone gut.

On the plus side, I have a couple of cute guys that think I'm attractive. Can't act on that til I end this relationship. Which looks like it may take care of itself. Man, I've got to sound like a horrible person when it comes to dealing with this relationship. "Just end it" I hear. But our finances and intertwined and it's not so easy to walk away.

I've gotta find a gym.

Maybe I can find a j/o buddy as the bf and I don't have sex anymore and haven't in some time.

Comments

I want to give you a hug *hug* Things will get better, might not seem like it now but it will. If you need to talk you can message me.
 
let it out buddy....good luck and yes...find a new fiend who will lift spirits...KEEP a good look on life...set yourself free....loose a few pounds....YOU can do it.
 
Dude, you have inspired me to write a post about "self-image." I don't feel well right now but I will get around to it.

One thing that you have to realize is that everyone is human and at one point and time we all are fearful or we have been fearful. Also, relationships are like other things in life, they all come to an end at one point.

Being below average does not mean a lot. "Below average" men do a lot of things that make them look "above average" in society's eyes. I can only think of bad examples but a good example is Bill Gates. He was not above average but he made good decisions that made him above average in wealth.

Be optimistic.
 

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Kimahri
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