tragic endings

..feeling like shit today, me and my bf aka blue eyes, are on a 'break' ive been loyal and trying to make it work bc seriously this guy is amazing. but i don't really see a future with him. i can't see it. and i guess i know how my last ex felt with me, when he said he just couldn't see a future with me. it sucks hard core.
i feel being single so long has turned me into something i don't like.
i just want to play around now, get attention from several ppl at once without the commitment thing.
but at the same time i want this other guy aka green eyes. i want to try something with him.

so this morn after waking up with all these confusing emotions and gazing at my bf who spent the night with me, and who looked like an innocent adorable baby. my heart was crushed.
bc i realized i was just in the moment with him bc he gave me all the attention i wanted, was sweet and adorable. but not who i wanted.

even if it made me a horrible bitch, i told him how i felt. upsetting him almost made me cry.
but honestly early on keeps it from becoming a tragic ending

and as i texted green eyes, he didn't even give me much hope we could be something. so as i let go blue eyes and longing for green. i became one of those ppl who wants their cake and to eat it too

--daily confusion

Comments

I'm reluctant to tell this tale since I prefer to keep my involvement on this site fun, but I feel inclined after reading your post...

I was having the cake and eat it too. I've indulged in my desires. I'm currently in the aftermath of a reckless indulgent spree spanning over the past two years. I was in a relationship with an absolutely amazing girl (who happens to have blue eyes, haha). I saw a future with her, we were so compatible. Then circumstances forced us into a long-distance relationship, and shortly after I started playing with random girls, then me and a (married) girl (who happens to have green eyes) drifted into a strange relationship... we had perfect sexual chemistry, but not nearly the overall compatibility I had with my girlfriend... and we became addicted to each other, with mind-blowing perfect sex and emotional attachment over the past almost two years. During that time, she became more dominant over other aspects of our relationship, and contacted my girlfriend and let her know what was happening, which ended that, and she then assumed our relationship as a committed one (since her husband was away). Over that course of time, I still was hooking up with others without this girl knowing (since I expected her husband to return any time), which she found out periodically, became furious, but we continued our "relationship". Things get alot worse than that (nothing to do with green eyes or her husband, but while pursuing random hook-ups) but I don't want to publicly post the rest of my tale (you may message me if you want to talk more). I currently am in some serious legal shit (which I'm innocent of).

So, you may want to pull your shit together before you fuck up or some crazy shit happens.
 

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