Two wrongs

I sorta feel bad. Not a whole lot, but a little. I've mentioned that my bf hangs on a site for older to meet younger. I know he's talking to a couple people, but don't know who and what about. Anyway, I was surfing profiles on there and found a cute 23 yo that has a profile that I liked. I sent him an email this morning asking if he'd be interested in talking as friends. The bf will not know about this.

I spend a lot of time trying to find guys to connect with. The sex thing isn't such a big deal. I've had A LOT of it over the years. I missed out on building quality relationships with guys that don't involve sex. It's not like I didn't have the opportunity to make them. I was just your stereotypical gay guy, going from bed to bed. In retrospect, I miss some of those guys I'd met. Some really did want something meaningful with me and I brushed them away.

The bf and I don't meet in any meaningful way. Other than having some stability in my life, there is little reason to stay. Not even because of the things with him, but the things with me. I'm not really ready to be in a relationship. I've got to find and become comfortable with myself. He's no help with that at all. He can't be. He simply doesn't...or can't understand what is going on with me. Trust me, I'm not thrilled to be in this situation where I need to have supportive people around me. I very much enjoyed facing the world alone when I was younger. Being bipolar and needing people now simple bothers me. I think this is some sort of punishment for something I did wrong years ago.

It's at times like this that i miss the straight boys I was close to in college before I got deep into my gay lifestyle. Sean was a great friend. And he was totally comfortable with my being gay. I suppose it's a shame that the bf and I can't really connect. I can't see how much longer this will go on with the two of us sitting on opposite sides of the spectrum.

Comments

you are so worried about what your b/f is doing, what makes you any better? Talk about the kettle calling the pot black.

Its very easy to see from all your posts that you enjoy drama.
Dont you ever get sick of it?

Man, end what is left of your relationship and move on.
 
No, I don't care for a lot of drama. This is the expressed reason I stay out of relationships. But, I gave this one a shot and realized, whoops..not such a hot idea. Life will go on.

I've just gotten myself into a corner and have to work my way out of it. Like a lot of people, there is so much stuff intertwined that I can't just pickup and leave. Tried that already and it didn't work out well.

Anyway, this is my place to vent and keep my thoughts together. Drama or no.
 
Wasn't being an ass. I really did need that comment. It reminded me of something.
 
Knowing yourself and what you need is more than most people can say. If cultivating platonic relationships is important to you, that clearly speaks of something missing in your life. I went through this very phase the last two years. I wasn't ready for a committed relationship so I had a few lovers and focused on my career, family and friends. I'm now reaping the benefits of that time.

Needing other people doesn't make you weak, it makes you human. I wish you well in your journey.
 
I picked up the nickname joeythejew from a good friend of mine many years ago.He told me nobody can work a dollar like me,Iam not cheap just know how work magic with cash.Also Iam not jewish, but I love jewish girls lived with one for many years,she passed away a few years ago.Iam 90% german 9% english and 1% dutch.Because my mother came from the old country (germany) she never had me cut I have always felt uncomfortable because of it.I was the only guy in my private school uncut and I thought something was wrong with my dick.The doctor said because of all the problems I have experienced it would be better to get cut.SO I HOPE THAT ANSWERED ALL YOUR QUESTIONS.
 

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Kimahri
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