~Yet another blog of my random thoughts~
(Also fair warning, this blog is pretty damn pessimistic.)
I am not generally the kind of person who finds herself going after someone whom they are attracted to. I generally let them approach me and let them make the moves. I show them that I am interested as well but I don't chase after them, especially if things go downhill. On the few occasions where I have been interested in someone enough that I will try to initiate things and even go after them when things go badly these guys turn out to not be what I was hoping for.
I am wondering why is it that I seem to always disappoint myself by doing this. I find I am much happier when I dont let myself become invested in someone, because as far as my experience goes I always get let down when I "go for it". Some of the guys seem to lose interest when I show them I like them in return (then a few weeks later are interested again). Others I find are not the one girl kind of guys, and then some just begin to act plain "crazy" after a while of us talking or dating.
A couple of the guys I have had this issue with in the past were "hooking" up with girls on weekends while we were talking. Their excuse was that is was just sex and meant nothing, that we had not specified being exclusive etc etc. I know that to many people sex isn't a big deal. I will admit the idea of sleeping with a random stranger is an exciting one, and the casual playing around i'm sure is fun. However for someone like me who hasn't ventured out very far into the sexual world, sex is a big deal. I don't care if they flirt and what not with others while we are in this stage but the act of sex is a no for me.
It just sucks because while there are many people who I am physically attracted to, there are not many that I find myself connecting with. I really hate either losing that connection or having to let it go because of various reasons.
TLDR? ( too long didnt read) I am through with men ....I am now a lesbian -.-
(Also fair warning, this blog is pretty damn pessimistic.)
I am not generally the kind of person who finds herself going after someone whom they are attracted to. I generally let them approach me and let them make the moves. I show them that I am interested as well but I don't chase after them, especially if things go downhill. On the few occasions where I have been interested in someone enough that I will try to initiate things and even go after them when things go badly these guys turn out to not be what I was hoping for.
I am wondering why is it that I seem to always disappoint myself by doing this. I find I am much happier when I dont let myself become invested in someone, because as far as my experience goes I always get let down when I "go for it". Some of the guys seem to lose interest when I show them I like them in return (then a few weeks later are interested again). Others I find are not the one girl kind of guys, and then some just begin to act plain "crazy" after a while of us talking or dating.
A couple of the guys I have had this issue with in the past were "hooking" up with girls on weekends while we were talking. Their excuse was that is was just sex and meant nothing, that we had not specified being exclusive etc etc. I know that to many people sex isn't a big deal. I will admit the idea of sleeping with a random stranger is an exciting one, and the casual playing around i'm sure is fun. However for someone like me who hasn't ventured out very far into the sexual world, sex is a big deal. I don't care if they flirt and what not with others while we are in this stage but the act of sex is a no for me.
It just sucks because while there are many people who I am physically attracted to, there are not many that I find myself connecting with. I really hate either losing that connection or having to let it go because of various reasons.
TLDR? ( too long didnt read) I am through with men ....I am now a lesbian -.-