I should have seen it coming, but I was honestly blinded. I should have noticed things like not wanting to spend $50 to mold me your dick, the lack of our bedtime routine of blowing each other a kiss goodnight, or maybe I should have paid more attention to the assholish behavior I watched creep in. I should have gone with my gut feeling that it wasn't going to work. I removed all my comments off your pictures, removed my background of your smiling face, contemplated deleting the file of all the pictures you've shared with me over the months. I see no point to it anymore. This is heart break, something you'll never experience because you fear. I showed you that you were lovable, maybe that's where I went wrong. Maybe I should have acted neurotically like the other girls in your life, maybe you would have loved me then.
I don't even know what to do. I want to remove this pain as quick as possible, removing you from my life would be the easiest route and something I'm used to, but then that would destroy the friendship aspect you hoped to keep. I don't even know what friendship is... I only understand guys wanting me sexually. I don't keep friends, I have acquaintances and fuck buddies.
I don't know how the dynamic is going to change, as far as I knew you never seen me as more than a friend and I just blindly loved you because it came naturally. What is it now, how am I supposed to act? am I not supposed to share intimate stuff with you? am I not supposed to ask to see you on webcam? Someone tell me what the fuck happened? Where did it go wrong?
I don't want to trust you anymore, you couldn't even tell me that it would never work in the first place. 10 months of believing you'd accept being loved, wasted.
Thanks. :frown1:
I don't even know what to do. I want to remove this pain as quick as possible, removing you from my life would be the easiest route and something I'm used to, but then that would destroy the friendship aspect you hoped to keep. I don't even know what friendship is... I only understand guys wanting me sexually. I don't keep friends, I have acquaintances and fuck buddies.
I don't know how the dynamic is going to change, as far as I knew you never seen me as more than a friend and I just blindly loved you because it came naturally. What is it now, how am I supposed to act? am I not supposed to share intimate stuff with you? am I not supposed to ask to see you on webcam? Someone tell me what the fuck happened? Where did it go wrong?
I don't want to trust you anymore, you couldn't even tell me that it would never work in the first place. 10 months of believing you'd accept being loved, wasted.
Thanks. :frown1: