venting

I need to vent...

why is it at the age of 20 i dont know how to be happy... and that i cant remember the last time i was happy... and i know happiness is hard to get but i cant remember the last time i was content in my life.... where i said to myself i have a pretty good life... i am not saying that i have it as bad as some people out there in the world but i dont think i am asking for much... to just be content in life...

there isnt one thing i am content with in my life...

just in the last day i found out i made the biggest screw up i couldve made... i basically flunked out of college... i am still able to go but i lost my loan... so now my parents have to pay for my college this semester. AND I HATE IT AND FEEL SOOOO GUILTY!!!

and then i dont even know why i joined this site.... ive only had sex with one person and not that many times... i was a virgin until last june... and in someways i regret having sex with the guy i had sex with but i dont regret it being him... i know that dont make much since but it does to me... and now he hates me and doesnt want to talk to me... because i was naive to think that i could have a fuck buddy relationship with the guy i lost my virginity too... and i tried to control him

and i aint no size 2 i aint even a size 8... i aint going to say what size i am but ill just say im a size 12... and i will never be a size 2 and i know it... is it that much to ask for a guy to like me for more then what i look like... i know looks are important and that you need to be attracted to someone to have a relationship work but how can a guy say " what would my friends think" when you dated someone the exact same size as me before and they didnt care... or shortly after meeting you calling you and saying that he doesnt wanna talk to you because you werent what he wants and literally tells you its because of your weight... when he is a big guy too


idk i just needed to vent

Comments

well, some of the reason you're having a hard time is because your 20. my late teens and early 20s were very difficult, and that's the case for many young women. you're far from being alone, even though it may seem that everyone is having a great time. the truth is, many of them really aren't having that great a go of it either.

if you did badly in school and your parents are willing to give you a second chance by footing the bill, shelf the guilt and pay them back with good grades. your parents want you to do well and be happy more than anything. if you can't hack college right now, that's okay too. a lot of people take time off.

relationships are difficult. move on from this first one and you'll have many more good (and bad) ones most likely. enjoy the site for whatever you can take away from it. there's no requirement that you have to have had sex even once. you don't even have to have or like huge cocks to be a part of the community here.

i'm a size 10-12 myself. you're not fat. some men, especially men in your age group, are complete assholes who only want a piece of arm candy to make them look like studs. guys like that aren't worth wasting your brain power thinking about. there are a lot of men out there who will find you physically, mentally, and emotionally attractive. one or even 5 rejections doesn't mean anything except that you haven't found the right guy.

good luck, and i hope you feel better after your vent.
 
My late teens and early 20s were kinda rough. My first experience with a guy went great, but my second one was really bad and I've not really recovered from it. There are people out there that are going to want you because you're hot, muscular or hung and guys that will not want you because you're not hot, not muscular or hung. It's everyday life. You've just got to take some time, sit back and look at things around you. Don't try to change a bunch of stuff. Just focus on trying to find one thing that makes you happy and do it for a while. Then, explore and see what else is out there.

Hope you feel better. PM if you want to talk. I love chatting.
 
I was going to say exactly what the first commenter said. There aren't many twenty year olds who are super content with life, that's just how it is unfortunately.

As for being fat, I've been really fat, fatter than you and plenty of amazing guys found me sexy as hell. Plenty of guys didn't. Anyone who treats you like that guy did is a piece of shit and not worth feeling bad about (even though you will).
If you're ever interested in talking about losing weight feel free to msg me, I have tried so many things in my life, I know what works and it's always good to have support but it's probably more important to love yourself as you are? lol I dunno I've never been so good at that but logically I see the value in it.

-Ashley
 

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