What a shitty evening.

It's karaoke night. I went to the bar, as I always do, and I had an absolutely crappy night. I mean... here it is midnight and I'm already home. That's not usually a good sign. :smile:

So why was my night so shitty, you may ask? I honestly have no idea. I'm not sure what made it bad. My friend that I normally go with didn't make it tonight, but I know most of the people at the bar, so I can't imagine that made a huge difference. I sat with the same guy I always sit with. In a weird way, I almost felt like everyone was so preoccupied with everyone else that I got left out. I know that sounds stupid... but that's how I felt. My friend Melissa was there - with at least six of her friends. I hardly got a word in edgewise. My friend Wes was there - sitting at the bar and talking to everyone around him. My friend Hillary was there - with four of her friends, she barely talked to me. I ended up spending half of my evening talking to some horribly drunk guy who kept making obscure sexual references to stupid things. It got annoying REAL fast. Maybe that's what made my night crappy.

Or maybe it was seeing Chris there, getting hit on by girl after girl. Watching one of the waitresses sit in his lap forever. Just a reminder that no matter how much I like him, I'm not going to have him. He said hi to me when I walked in the door, but then he never said a word to me after that. Maybe that's what made my night crappy.

Maybe going out last night and meeting my step-dads new wife only one year, six months, and three days after my mother passed away has taken it's toll on me emotionally. Maybe that's what made my night crappy.

I don't know what was going on with me... but I'm in quite the melancholy mood at the moment.

Comments

Meg, a couple of things. Chris is a fucking moron for passing you up. End of. Get over him and move on. There are much more deserving men and they are out there just dying for you to walk by and be noticed.

On your stepdad thing? I know it seems soon, but different people grieve and survive in different ways. When my mother's best friend died, a year later her husband was asking my mother to marry him and they hadn't even been on a date. Some men need a woman in their life and you do not know how he handled the hurt. I know after mom died? I became a complete slut. I slept with anyone willing just about and in therapy I discovered it was an outlet for the pain and sorrow. So try not to be too hard on him.

I love you always Meg.
 

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