Need to vent a bit this time.
I have always had a certain way that I treated those whom I considered friends. Even when I did not get the same treatment back I was what I considered a good or loyal friend. I am by no means perfect everyone makes mistakes and I understand that some friends just have their times of bickering. In fact during my school years I was quite mean. However to those close to me I was the best friend I could be.
I had an incident with some friends a few years ago. We all attended the same church. I am not religious but as it was my mothers house and rules I had to go until I left for college. During the period before leaving my friend was caught sleeping with her boyfriend. Her mother took her to the pastors and she was "marked". They told everyone in the church not to speak to her until further notice. She was still to attend services just not converse with anyone. All of our friends followed the directions they were given and she became very depressed. All that is except my brother and myself. We were stood up and "rebuked" in church because of it but we stood our ground. She was a friend and even if she made a mistake in their eyes (sex out of wedlock) that did not mean we were going to toss her aside.
On the other hand she had no problem throwing us under the bus. She is part of the reason why my brother was "outed" before he was ready. She encouraged rumors that he was talking to some guy in NY and that was the reason we chose to go to school there. She also began to try and make herself look good again by saying I had done things with some of the guys in the church. When questioned, all of our guy friends denied that I had ever been involved with them, but the pastors had become convinced that the reason we stuck by her was because she had something on us we did not want them to know. Even after this I did not retaliate. My brother said that he would get even but I had no desire to. I have had other situations over the years that have caused me to lose friends that I cared about and every time it takes a toll on me.
Recently I have had some issues with "friends" and it is the first time I am finding myself irritated and flat out angry at some of them. I honestly think I have had enough of trying to be nice to people who do not want to do the same for me.I have many other things in life that I need to focus on.
The thing that sucks is that I still become sad for quite a while over losing them as friends. I am not sure how to keep myself from caring about those who do not care about me.
I have always had a certain way that I treated those whom I considered friends. Even when I did not get the same treatment back I was what I considered a good or loyal friend. I am by no means perfect everyone makes mistakes and I understand that some friends just have their times of bickering. In fact during my school years I was quite mean. However to those close to me I was the best friend I could be.
I had an incident with some friends a few years ago. We all attended the same church. I am not religious but as it was my mothers house and rules I had to go until I left for college. During the period before leaving my friend was caught sleeping with her boyfriend. Her mother took her to the pastors and she was "marked". They told everyone in the church not to speak to her until further notice. She was still to attend services just not converse with anyone. All of our friends followed the directions they were given and she became very depressed. All that is except my brother and myself. We were stood up and "rebuked" in church because of it but we stood our ground. She was a friend and even if she made a mistake in their eyes (sex out of wedlock) that did not mean we were going to toss her aside.
On the other hand she had no problem throwing us under the bus. She is part of the reason why my brother was "outed" before he was ready. She encouraged rumors that he was talking to some guy in NY and that was the reason we chose to go to school there. She also began to try and make herself look good again by saying I had done things with some of the guys in the church. When questioned, all of our guy friends denied that I had ever been involved with them, but the pastors had become convinced that the reason we stuck by her was because she had something on us we did not want them to know. Even after this I did not retaliate. My brother said that he would get even but I had no desire to. I have had other situations over the years that have caused me to lose friends that I cared about and every time it takes a toll on me.
Recently I have had some issues with "friends" and it is the first time I am finding myself irritated and flat out angry at some of them. I honestly think I have had enough of trying to be nice to people who do not want to do the same for me.I have many other things in life that I need to focus on.
The thing that sucks is that I still become sad for quite a while over losing them as friends. I am not sure how to keep myself from caring about those who do not care about me.