What is a 'friend'?

I've been asking myself this question over and over again for the past few years but even more so in recent times. "What is a friend?" I don't think I've ever had to answer that question before and as a result, I'm ill prepared to event attempt to find an answer. I always thought that friends were people that stayed in constant contact with you. They were people that could always make you feel better when you're down. Friends were someone that you could call and talk or even meet an hang out with. They were people that you had plenty of things in common. All of these concepts led to a great friendship or that was what I was always led to believe growing up.

Thinking back the past few years has made me realize that two things: a) I was somewhat right or b) I was horribly, catastrophically wrong. I think I may have been right because the few people that I have called a 'friend' at some point or another, have always had at least one thing in common. We liked the same music, or went to the same school or had the same interest, etc. We were able to talk on more than one level for extended periods of time without feeling awkward. We enjoyed and looked forward to talking to each other and loved just seeing one another when possible, no matter how busy our lives were. The bottom line is that we always had fun. I think it was belief in this ideal that may have been my downfall because gradually, all of my 'friends' started disappearing in my life. We either became too busy to stay in contact or we just grew apart. All of which left me bitter, hurt and surprised. Maybe I didn't do something I was supposed to do. After all, friends shouldn't disappear and they shouldn't go their separate ways without saying anything to each other. I am guilty of both of those sins and I refuse to lie to myself and say otherwise but I haven't always been this way nor have I always done this to potential friends.

I remember a time when I welcomed everyone into my life. I loved meeting new people and learning about different ways to observe life. I guess I was doing something right because everyone seemed to like me and would never really cared if I hung around them. That all changed in high school. I saw truly how backstabbing, conniving and deceitful people could be. People rejected me without even getting the chance to know me. People that did know me eventually just turned their backs on me and left me behind. They just quietly shunned me away like I didn't exist. All of this left me quite shocked. I didn't change anything. I wasn't the asshole jock, or the snitch or anything else. I was just me and with 'me' being rejected, kicked and bruised, I simply stopped trying to be nice. School became routine, boring, long and miserable. I attended the fewest amount of functions possible and even skipped my Prom. I couldn't face going there and seeing all of those assholes and attempt to be nice with them. I honestly think I left without a single person to call friend. I only had 'close associates' at best, and even they were few and far between. While most people are happy and somewhat sad to graduate and move on, I woke up in a horrible mood. I couldn't wait to get home and every second that I had to spend there, put me so much closer to just being sick. I hated that time in my life and that was made worse with family problems. During that time, and even now, I had to endure everything by myself. I had become used to people drifting in and out of my life and even disappearing altogether. But I know that a friend doesn't/shouldn't do those things. I also know that I honestly don't even know what a friend is...

So for anyone reading this, I ask you, what is your definition of a 'friend'?

Comments

A true friend is someone that's there when you need them the most, not just during the good times. Someone that you can talk to about anything and not worry about it. Someone that is as close as a family memeber and sometimes as in my case closer. A true friend is someone that you can trust your life with, not many people fit that description.
I think most people confuse the word "friend" with acquaintance or co-worker, trust me they aren't the same.
 
Friend - someone that completes you in a platonic way. someone that shares your ups and downs, goods and bads. someone that has your best interests at heart even when you don't. someone that knows something is wrong before you do.
 
There are many definitions of "friend" and many degrees of friendship.

Friends are as good (and useful) as they can add to your survival potential, such as: brightening your day, providing company, keeping you entertained, keeping you out of trouble, giving good advice, helping when needed, etc. etc.

Before High School, life was a lot simpler. There wasn't hormones, love, or fear of/uncertainty about the future.

And High School was HORRIBLE for a lot of people, so you aren't alone in feeling that way.

After High School, people DO tend to drift apart as they get involved in jobs, relationships, starting families, etc. etc.

I don't know how old you are, or in what shape your life is in, but my advice to you is find the best friend you'll EVER have -- yourself.

Take a little time to get to know yourself: What are your talents?
What are your weaknesses?
Where are you going in life?
What is VALUABLE to you?
And what VALUES are most important to you?

You will be a lot better at meeting/recognizing kindred spirits if you know yourself better.

Well, I guess that's all the philosophy I'm capable of this evening, so good night and good luck! :wink:
 
I have only one definition of what a friend is; My friends are the people
I can, see or hear from, even after a long abscence,and we pick up like we never left each other. I can trust my friends, with information, personal or otherwise,and it won't be revealed for some personal gain. We can hang out together and not do a single thing,and be happy to be in each others company.They tolerate my cigar/cigarette smoking,and I tolerate their habits
with grace and good humour. We can fight and still be friends,even though I don't want to agree with their views.
Most important to me, is that I love them,and they reciprocate,even
though we may not have met, in person.
This is true for my real life friends and the ones I cherish here at lpsg too.
cigarbabe:saevil:
 
a friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A true friend is a friend who will be in jail with you saying, " dam we fucked up"!
 
I second pretty much everything that has been said above. I'd probably add that a friend is someone who is there through thick and thin and doesn't judge you if you screw up. They are there until the end and support you.

Oh, and I agree with what Cigarbabe said about friends being people who you can talk to after days/weeks/months go by and it's as if no time has gone by.
 
I used to think that a friend was someone who you had a lot in common with, and enjoyed their company. But now I'm thinking that a true friend is someone who loves you very much, and who you love equally. I don't think we have many peeps like that in our lives.
 
A friend knows everything about you and loves you anyway.

Hugh Kingsmill: “Friends are God's apology for relations.”

Sometimes you don't know who your real friends are until things in your life are at their most bleak. The people who help you back to normaltown, no matter how long it takes, those are real friends.

Ben Affleck: "A friend will help you move. A real friend will help you move a dead body."
 
I thank all of you for your comments. They were all quite helpful, insightful and a bit thought provoking.

Hotmilf,
Over the past few months, I actually have been doing a bit of self-'discovery' and reflection over the past few months. I'm no where near the end of it but I am making new realizations as time goes on. Recently I had already come to the conclusion that I had no idea what made myself tick and I'm still not quite sure about it either.

ajaxgayguy7,
I remember telling that to someone but it's still funny hearing it again

Njqt,
Thanks for those quotes and gems of hilarious wisdom.

Hung Jon,
I really don't think that a lot of people have true friends either which is why I'm often a bit jealous of the people that do have them. That's truly something special.

Jeff Black and Cigarbabe,
I think that is a part of a good friendship and have experienced that a couple times but not often. But it is a great feeling when it does happen.

Kimahri,
I really like that defintion of a friend especially "someone that knows something is wrong before you do". That is one of the best ways of describing a friend that I have ever heard.
 

Blog entry information

Author
sjprep06
Read time
3 min read
Views
295
Comments
9
Last update

More entries in General

More entries from sjprep06

Share this entry