Whatever.....

So......
Once again it's the middle of the night and i can't sleep... I'm getting kind of used to it though, been like this since before christmas, but i'm so damn sick of practically having an anxiety attack when i try to go to sleep at night...*sigh*
I just lie in bed thinking about everything and nothing, and frankly it drives me crazy sometimes....

So.... what do i think about. Well a bit of this and a bit of that... but definitely my sexlife - or periodically lack thereof - comes to mind. I'm by no means very experienced but for the last year and a half I had a healthy sex life with my (now ex) boyfriend. He was more experienced than me and i was practically a virgin when i met him (i had only had a few imo disaterous sexual experiences with one guy before him) and i feel i learned alot while we were together. I got over a lot of my shyness, some hang ups and generally had fun trying new things.
He was the first above avg guy i've been with at about 7x6, and the only one to date, and he definitely is the reason i'm now in favour of larger penises.
Unfortnately we broke up because it simply didn't work for us to be in a relationship, but remain friends and still get together and have sex every once in while. However, i've had two one night stands since we broke up and well i founds those 2 guys to be less than satisfying (which i know is usually the result of one night stands anyway) but alot of it had to do with there much smaler size and to an extent lack of experience....
It's very interesting to read the threads on this site about the ongoing debate over Sizequeens and whether ppl are posotive or negative toward women with that attitude... I personally wouldn't consider myself one of them since i (in my admittedly limited experience) yes do prefer a guy that i well endowed, but would definitely not have that as the only reason for being with him. I hadn't had sex for over a year before i met my ex and when we first had sex, i did see his penis before the act itself comenced and wrapped my hand around it, was frankly quite intimidated by his size. The first times i had had sex (3 in total) were not satisfying at all ad since i was never aroused enough penetration with the guy was, well, a struggle, and almost non existant (he was a bit smaller than average but the circumtances - long story - made the whole situation difficult). So i actually experienced my first proper penetration with my ex, and damn if it didn't hurt the first 10-15 times we had sex. But eventually i got used to it and enjoyed it. So happy ending all round, hehe.

Anywho.... that was my first blog (yes i have officially lost my blog-virginity) and pretty much just me wanting to vent abit... so hopefully by writing all this crap down i might be able to sleep....

Comments

liked reading your first blog,hope you have more sleepless nights LOL.
greetings from amsterdam xxx
 
nice to hear someone else having those kinds of sleepless nights. i hate being alone too. the woman i was friends with moved away because of career reasons last June. and i'm still not over her! i still keep in touch with her and i just think it is my life overall. it is tough when i go through a week and it feels like a month. i blog elsewhere to keep track of my feelings. i do volunteer and take trips, but it is just having that certain someone who is close. better to have loved than not to have loved at all huh? not!
 
scarlett, i hate to sound trite, but are you getting sex regularly. NOthing makes me sleep like a baby than regular, and raunchy, sex.
 

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D_Sunny Beeches
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