When is a relationship sexually dead? Worth saving or no?

My girlfriend and I have been very non-sexual for the past few months. We make love sporadically, maybe once every 2 or 3 weeks. It's killing me with her lack of sexual interest.

She is very reserved and doesn't share much. When we have talked sex, which she seemed to enjoy doing for the first few months we went out, I shared my fantasies and desires more than she did. She did tell me that she went a little wild in college but didn't tell me what she did. I haven't pursued it, but I am still curious about what she did. Why not share what if she told me she did wild things?

She still likes to hold hands and seems to enjoy cuddling, but I am always the one to initiate it. Now, I know that she reads erotic romance novels and stories, she has many books like that and has a couple dozen on her computer. I stumbled across them and she doesn't know I know. So it bothers me that sexually she is not interested hardly at all, but I know that she reads these. Wouldn't that make her desire for me stronger?

She says her desire is for me (though in many of the books it's more than 1 guy at a time taking the woman) but yet she rarely is in the mood for sex. It didn't used to be like this. Did she put on a charade at first to get me hooked and wants to keep me cuz I'm a good guy? Her closed-ness and reservedness is hard for me because I need a woman to be open. I'm a sappy guy that has to have his soul connect with my partner. And sexually is one of the strongest ways I share that.

So at what point is a relationship sexually dead and you cut out because you're not happy? How do you do so when you do love and care about the other person?

Comments

Exactly. Tell her how you feel. Maybe something is holding her back. Also how long has the relationship been? A year? 2 Years? How in love with her are you? If thus had happened with me and my ex, I would've left. With my current, I wouldn't ever stop trying. So it all depends on you and how you feel.
 
We've been going out for about 7 months now, and I love her a lot but I'm finding out some things that I thought she loved but isn't as much into now so it's readjusting my views...
 
Tell her how u feel about it . Man u need to be loved too , and it hard when they don't feel the same way... Love is not suppose to hard.......
 
The best indicator of a dead relationship is no kissing. Once those daily and affectionate kisses stop or become forced, it's a good sign that the love is lost.
 
Well the only kissing that goes on are granny kisses that she gives me. Rarely lets me do any deeper kisses. And it's seeming I have to do most of the kiss initiating too. I DEFINITELY do all the physical affection except for hand holding.
 
dMonica may be right that something has faltered when kissing becomes forced. It happened in my relationship with hubby during a period of great stress. The pressures from his work were killing him and occupying way too much of his time and energy... He neglected everything.

We talked, we reassured each other of our deep love and that we were there for each other always.... We made a conscious effort to rekindle the spark into a flame. Talking is the key... and being open minded.

Of course, we had been married for several years and had a really strong commitment to each other... Your relationship seems to be new (7 months)... so I'm guessing that the initial was purely physical attraction and there's really no foundation for you to build on this relationship.

Only you and she can answer these questions Ramsey.... good luck
 

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