The fun of internet chatrooms is that you meet all kinds of people from all walks of life. Chat should be easy going and comfortable for all parties concerned. Sometimes chat flows and you meet common ground very quickly. Sometimes it takes longer to gel. LPSG is of course very different to the chatrooms we encounter for example, with our own isp, because everyone knows it's a sex website, so the content is going to be flirty or even dirty in its content eventually.. which is absolutely fine because we're all participating on an equal footing. Or so I thought!
What if you read a profile and the person contacting you is not immediately in the criteria of what you would like to flirt and be dirty with? Do you reply in a light and airy fashion, thus giving off the impression youre interested in knowing them better (perhaps leading to false hopes) or are you honest from the outset and hope that they will be adult enough to accept your preferences?
Ive experienced both ends of the scale lately. For instance my personal preference is that I do not like to talk in a sexual manner with men under say 34-35. My comfort zone is with older guys. I have lots of friends/colleagues younger than this in my life but I have no intention of discussing sexual matters with them and value them for what they bring to my life outside of my sexual exploration. I cherish my real time friends no matter what age they are so don't throw the ageist card at me! Older men are just more of a turn on and thats all there is to it!
Without exception the young men I have said this too have said hey no problem and we have bid one an other a cheery goodbye and 'have a nice day'. So the direct approach has worked for me. Sometimes age has not come into the conversation until later but even when they have revealed their age to me and Ive explained my preferences, these clever young guys have accepted it for what it is without a single insult.
However there has been a downside which makes me sad. After an initial conversation in LPSG im, me and another guy moved it on to chat via msn for an hour or more a couple of weeks back. It was a really pleasant evening but when the time came for me to leavem I said my nights and went on to do something else. From that point during the rest of the evening, this guy kept on imming me. At first, not being rude, I answered the ims. Then as it became annoying I began ignoring them and then found I had pm messages from him on LPSG and I thought for my own comfort just don't reply or encourage him. Surely that's a big enough hint that there was not going to be anymore one to one contact? I have pm'd or immed members and had no response but have not felt the need to persist in approaching them. I simply accept that I'm not within their criteria either. Its not a lose of face is it?
Anyway back to the story...Not satisfied with me ignoring him, he embarked on a lot of snide comments the last couple of times I went into a chatroom until I had to ask him to move on this evening when his presence was becoming intolerable. Not a very nice experience! But one lives and learns.
Ironically this same evening another guy immed me and from his profile I saw he was bisexual and asked him if this was correct. He said yes but he preferred women. I said well thats a turn off for me - again personal preference. After I told him this I typed enjoy the rest of your day xx and closed the im. He too began making snide remarks in the chatroom. And worse still he jollied up with this other guy!! I had to smile at one point because it looked a bit like the first wives club movie!! At one point the bisexual guy made up a complete head story of what my life must be like offline to be in a chatroom! The two of them, bolstered by each others attack on me made a bit of a pathetic spectacle but couldn't see it!
Come on - there should be no superior attitudes as to why your presence on LPSG or it's chatrooms is more important than mine nor any reason for to speculate on my reasons for being on it just because I don't want you in my ims or pm's.
You wouldn't expect a waiter to keep piling on the parmesan when it wasnt to your liking or you had enough - so why is it a big deal when you're honest about your sexual preferences and are open? Or indeed when you have indicated a conversation has gone as far as its going to go
All things happen to give us life experiences but there is no easy way to say 'youre not my type'. So when is the right time to say I'm not interested - without getting into a heavy scene?
Claire xxx
What if you read a profile and the person contacting you is not immediately in the criteria of what you would like to flirt and be dirty with? Do you reply in a light and airy fashion, thus giving off the impression youre interested in knowing them better (perhaps leading to false hopes) or are you honest from the outset and hope that they will be adult enough to accept your preferences?
Ive experienced both ends of the scale lately. For instance my personal preference is that I do not like to talk in a sexual manner with men under say 34-35. My comfort zone is with older guys. I have lots of friends/colleagues younger than this in my life but I have no intention of discussing sexual matters with them and value them for what they bring to my life outside of my sexual exploration. I cherish my real time friends no matter what age they are so don't throw the ageist card at me! Older men are just more of a turn on and thats all there is to it!
Without exception the young men I have said this too have said hey no problem and we have bid one an other a cheery goodbye and 'have a nice day'. So the direct approach has worked for me. Sometimes age has not come into the conversation until later but even when they have revealed their age to me and Ive explained my preferences, these clever young guys have accepted it for what it is without a single insult.
However there has been a downside which makes me sad. After an initial conversation in LPSG im, me and another guy moved it on to chat via msn for an hour or more a couple of weeks back. It was a really pleasant evening but when the time came for me to leavem I said my nights and went on to do something else. From that point during the rest of the evening, this guy kept on imming me. At first, not being rude, I answered the ims. Then as it became annoying I began ignoring them and then found I had pm messages from him on LPSG and I thought for my own comfort just don't reply or encourage him. Surely that's a big enough hint that there was not going to be anymore one to one contact? I have pm'd or immed members and had no response but have not felt the need to persist in approaching them. I simply accept that I'm not within their criteria either. Its not a lose of face is it?
Anyway back to the story...Not satisfied with me ignoring him, he embarked on a lot of snide comments the last couple of times I went into a chatroom until I had to ask him to move on this evening when his presence was becoming intolerable. Not a very nice experience! But one lives and learns.
Ironically this same evening another guy immed me and from his profile I saw he was bisexual and asked him if this was correct. He said yes but he preferred women. I said well thats a turn off for me - again personal preference. After I told him this I typed enjoy the rest of your day xx and closed the im. He too began making snide remarks in the chatroom. And worse still he jollied up with this other guy!! I had to smile at one point because it looked a bit like the first wives club movie!! At one point the bisexual guy made up a complete head story of what my life must be like offline to be in a chatroom! The two of them, bolstered by each others attack on me made a bit of a pathetic spectacle but couldn't see it!
Come on - there should be no superior attitudes as to why your presence on LPSG or it's chatrooms is more important than mine nor any reason for to speculate on my reasons for being on it just because I don't want you in my ims or pm's.
You wouldn't expect a waiter to keep piling on the parmesan when it wasnt to your liking or you had enough - so why is it a big deal when you're honest about your sexual preferences and are open? Or indeed when you have indicated a conversation has gone as far as its going to go
All things happen to give us life experiences but there is no easy way to say 'youre not my type'. So when is the right time to say I'm not interested - without getting into a heavy scene?
Claire xxx