- Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get between the right man and the right woman. ~Woody Allen
- Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. ~Mignon McLaughlin
- Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke? ~Rita Rudner
- Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. ~Woody Allen
- Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time. ~Author Unknown
- An erection is like the Theory of Relativity - the more you think about it, the harder it gets. ~Author Unknown
- The difference between light and hard is that you can sleep with a light on. ~Author Unknown
- Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken. ~Author Unknown :tongue:
- I'd like to meet the man who invented sex and see what he's working on now. ~Author Unknown
- How lucky we are that we can reach our genitals instead of that spot on our back that itches. ~Flash Rosenberg
- Sex is interesting, but it's not totally important. I mean it's not even as important (physically) as excretion. A man can go seventy years without a piece of ass, but he can die in a week without a bowel movement. ~Charles Bukowski, Notes on a Dirty Old Man
- When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities. ~Matt Groening
- It doesn't matter what you do in the bedroom as long as you don't do it in the street and frighten the horses. ~Mrs. Patrick Campbell
- To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you're impotent. She can't wait to disprove it. ~Cary Grant
- Tell him I've been too fucking busy - or vice versa. ~Dorothy Parker :biggrin1: