Why don't guys call back?

I've recently been in a few situations where I displayed two different types of behavior -- but achieved the same basic outcome.

I was dating this guy in May. We got along great, had chemistry lots of good stuff. He was really respectful of me, a total gentleman. Then I slept over his house one night. He asked me if I wanted him and I said "Of course I do, but I"m not ready to have sex with you yet." We'd only been going out for three weeks.

After that night, I never heard from him again - save some random yahoo instant messages.

In July, I was seeing this other guy. He and I had electric sexual chemistry, but I didn't wanna be a booty call to him. We hung out and fooled around twice. Then I gave in and slept with him. The sex was absolutely amazing.

I haven't heard from him since either.

So to me, I'm fucked if I don't sleep with a guy and fucked if I do -- Either way I'm not getting called back. And I don't know why.

And since neither of them have talked to me since -- it really leaves me clueless.

I don't understand what went wrong. Especially with the guy I slept with -- we had a great time, we have awesome sexual chemistry.

It makes me kind of bitter because guys always wonder what makes girls so crazy -- well the short answer is YOU do. Guys that is. You make me crazy by not being man enough to say you're disinterested. You make me crazy by lacking the fucking balls to pick up the phone.

What the hell is going on here? :mad:

____ EDIT ____

He freaking e-mailed me and told me
But the big reason why I havnt contacted u sooner is that I got back togeather with my x girlfriend and we are trying to work things out...im sorry if I upset you, its just I love my girlfriend and I want to stay faithful to her..I hope you understand.


fucking lame

Comments

The short answer is, I don't call because, invariably, she never answers. Hate leaving voice mails.
 
It makes me kind of bitter because guys always wonder what makes girls so crazy -- well the short answer is YOU do. Guys that is. You make me crazy by not being man enough to say you're disinterested. You make me crazy by lacking the fucking balls to pick up the phone.

What the hell is going on here? :mad:

Boys are stupid throw rocks at them. :biggrin1:

Yes, it is really all about the sex. :rolleyes: :duh: Don't worry though, he probably bragged to all his frioends about what a hot piece of ass you were.:cool:
 
Serial Kisser, you look like you're in your early 20s, so I'm going to guess that the two guys you're talking about are close to that age.

I hate to say this, but many guys that age -- even if they hit it off with you personally, sexually or both -- simply have no interest in knowing you. They want to have sex with you -- which as they see it is the absolute high point of any "relationship" they might have with you anyway -- and then move on.

So the sex was great? Doesn't matter. There are other women out there. Perhaps sex with one of them will be even better. But he won't find out if he keeps on hanging out with you.

The good news is, not every guy is like this. The bad news is, it's pretty much impossible to find out who is and who isn't until you go through the experiences you've just had.

I apologize for my gender -- you deserve much better.
 
Penis Aficionado is right. Both of them simply played you, or tried to, in the first one's case. A lot of guys are like that unfortulately. But don't give up.
BTW, how did u meet those guys?
 
It depends, I think sometimes we are looking for something serious or maybe we just wanna have fun. The problem with girls is that you never say the things you wonder to the right person. You expect us to open up and speak about what we feel and think but you don't, we have to guess what's upsetting you THIS time. For example, asking us is never going to solve the problem. So he didn't call you? Well pick up the phone and call and ask you'll have your answer and be much happier. Good luck!
 
The problem is that, at your age, men and woman are looking for different things. Most men are not looking for serious relationships...they have other interests and are probably afraid to begin that long road to responsibility and monogamy. For women, relationships are always serious...responsibility starts now and the eye is always on future stability and growth. Now this is not true for all, of course...but it seems that this is the norm. Don't take it personally. Go with the flow...it is only a matter of time before your and a special guy's needs coincide.
 
Alem0909;bt17827 said:
It depends, I think sometimes we are looking for something serious or maybe we just wanna have fun. The problem with girls is that you never say the things you wonder to the right person. You expect us to open up and speak about what we feel and think but you don't, we have to guess what's upsetting you THIS time. For example, asking us is never going to solve the problem. So he didn't call you? Well pick up the phone and call and ask you'll have your answer and be much happier. Good luck!

I have called him. I left one message. I texted him once too. Nothing.
 
Unfortunately, the truth is that you got tangled up with 2 jerks. Not all men are that way. Some of us are the ones that don't get the call backs :-(
 
Guys are often advised not call back too soon to make it clear that they aren't desperate or clingy which is a total turn-off for most women. If a guy doesn't call back before a week then you shouldn't live in hope that he will. He might be waiting for you to show interest in him or he might be too busy. If you do call him and he doesn't answer or return the call, then he's not interested.

This is what I think happened with the 2 guys you mentioned:
The first guy took your answer about sex for a rejection. He understood from your answer that he isn't sexually attractive to you and probably considered 3 weeks long enough to make or break a relationship.

The second guy is a player, who knew how to seduce you because he has learned by playing around with many other girls before you. He probably enjoyed the challenge of adding you to his list of conquests and got bored when he won his challenge so moved on to some new one.
 
dongalong;bt17833 said:
Guys are often advised not call back too soon to make it clear that they aren't desperate or clingy which is a total turn-off for most women. If a guy doesn't call back before a week then you shouldn't live in hope that he will. He might be waiting for you to show interest in him or he might be too busy. If you do call him and he doesn't answer or return the call, then he's not interested.

This is what I think happened with the 2 guys you mentioned:
The first guy took your answer about sex for a rejection. He understood from your answer that he isn't sexually attractive to you and probably considered 3 weeks long enough to make or break a relationship.

The second guy is a player, who knew how to seduce you because he has learned by playing around with many other girls before you. He probably enjoyed the challenge of adding you to his list of conquests and got bored when he won his challenge so moved on to some new one.

this, maybe they are playing hard to get? has he done all the calling?

an fyi, the easiest way to keep a guy around is sex. the vibe i get from reading your stories is you like to play games. this is just me with my past expereinces and different type of women. a women thats gonna play games, im only hanging around till i get my cake. i know this, this is already in my head. and once you give me the cake, im done because the chase was fun but the games overweigh the postitive side of things. i would be done with her unless she called me.

this is just how i am programed.
 
bigdog83;bt17835 said:
this, maybe they are playing hard to get? has he done all the calling?

an fyi, the easiest way to keep a guy around is sex. the vibe i get from reading your stories is you like to play games. this is just me with my past expereinces and different type of women. a women thats gonna play games, im only hanging around till i get my cake. i know this, this is already in my head. and once you give me the cake, im done because the chase was fun but the games overweigh the postitive side of things. i would be done with her unless she called me.

this is just how i am programed.

Eh, I don't really like to play games. He was the first guy I had been with in almost two years. I didn't want to be valued solely on what I could provide sexually.
 
dongalong;bt17833 said:
Guys are often advised not call back too soon to make it clear that they aren't desperate or clingy which is a total turn-off for most women. If a guy doesn't call back before a week then you shouldn't live in hope that he will. He might be waiting for you to show interest in him or he might be too busy. If you do call him and he doesn't answer or return the call, then he's not interested.

This is what I think happened with the 2 guys you mentioned:
The first guy took your answer about sex for a rejection. He understood from your answer that he isn't sexually attractive to you and probably considered 3 weeks long enough to make or break a relationship.

The second guy is a player, who knew how to seduce you because he has learned by playing around with many other girls before you. He probably enjoyed the challenge of adding you to his list of conquests and got bored when he won his challenge so moved on to some new one.

You're probably right. The bummer about the first guy was I was REALLY attracted to him, but I didn't want to rush into things. I didn't wanna be a booty call. I was trying to take it slow. That's what I guess frustrates me. I didn't take it slow with the second guy, and I guess you're right. Boo. Super lame.
 
Men don't call back because men are cowards...they would rather not tell you the truth, it's easier to run!
 
Well, the first guy seems pretty obvious. He wanted to have sex and you didn't. If I put in 3 weeks worth of work and still wasn't getting anywhere I'd leave too. Although, I'd tell you why I'm rolling out. Maybe he wanted to avoid confrontation and not make you feel like you have to sleep with him in order to make the relationship work.

Second guy is a little harder to know for sure and I'd need more info. Since he was so good in bed, you might have been just another name to add to his resume. Or maybe he was telling the truth about his gf. Either way, probably got to be more careful around those types.

Btw, you're pretty cute and I wouldn't worry about it too much. Just make sure you communicate effectively with your partner so if you do sleep with a guy, you'll have no doubt about whether he'll call you again.
 
Bit of a late comment on this blog but it struck a nerve with me too... i've been on the other side of that tale with girls taking advantage or just downright confusing the hell out of me.. .saying one thing, doing another. The most priceless excuse I got was "coz he rides a motorbike"... that was after we both agreed to take it slow.

Anyways, put em down to experience - i almost fried my brain trying to figure it out. Finally just let it all go and it came right.

BTW.. your avatars always make smile, quirky and funny. :)
 

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