Why?

Why do I feel like I have to give up who I am in order to find a man who will accept me for who I am? The funny part is, I know that once people get to know me, they like me. I know that I'm not the most feminine woman on the planet, but I've tried being that way and it's way out of my comfort zone. Not something I want to try again. I like who I am, and I like how I dress. Why can't everyone else feel the same way? I wear jeans, just like all the other girls. The difference being that mine are a little baggy and have holes in the knees. I wear tennis shoes just like all the other girls. The difference being that mine are black and white checked, typically associated with punk. I wear t-shirts, just like all the other girls. The difference being that mine have funny sayings on them, like "Scratch and Sniff" or "Swallows" or some other variation of humor. I wear hooded jackets when it's chilly out, just like all the other girls. The difference being that mine is a little oversized and has a patch on it that says "Rock Out With Your Cock Out" accompanied by a picture of a rooster. I'm not that different than all the other girls, but I have my own edge. I know that people stereotype me. It's human nature. Guys can say that they know whether or not they'd like a girl based on her style of dress. But that's entirely untrue and unfair. That's basically saying that the only reason you'd be interested in someone is because they are well-dressed, based on what your idea of well-dressed is. When did humans become this shallow? I know that people probably look at me, my clothes, and my tattoos and assume that I'm some rebellious punk, and that I'm irresponsible or possibly that I do drugs or drink or party a lot, and that couldn't be farther from the truth. I just like my clothes. I have complete and utter respect for authority. I don't talk back or give attitudes to those in charge. I do, however, stand up for what I believe in. Unfortunately, there are still people in this world who view that as rebellion. I drink maybe twice a year, and I don't even allow myself to get drunk. I go to the bar every Saturday and I drink coke... sometimes water. I haven't touched an illegal substance since I was 16. My biggest vice is smoking cigarettes. Woo. I am responsible. I take care of my shit. I always put my son before me. He is well dressed, well fed, well educated, and well loved. I pay my bills on time. I work first and play later. I keep a clean house. I do my homework. I've always done well in every job I've ever had. And so much more.

So what gives? When did clothing become more important than the person? When will a great man finally see me for who I am, and accept it? How many more years of my life will I spend being misunderstood? I refuse to conform. I love me.

Comments

Don't change who you are. It doesn't do you any good or any future partners any good. Be who you are, and if you feel there are areas about yourself that need improvement by your standards, work on them. I think you're a wonderful person, and any man should be thrilled to be with you. Sometimes you just have to be patient as much of a pain in the ass as it is. As for now, you're being a great mom, doing well in school, and have friends and family to keep you active and busy. I think that final piece of the puzzle will fall into place for you, and when it does, it will be wonderful.
 
Change is something you do because you want to. Changing yourself to get a man is not worth it. You are sexy, intelligent, and fun as you are. If a guy can't figure that out, you don't need him.

Don't change.
 
I'm occasionally "a man" and I love you. Just the way you are!
The only difference between me and a " real man" is, my dick comes off! Yup! :naughty: :yup:
Don't change,you are perfect,just the way you are!
Seriously.
Hugs,
cigarbabe:saevilw:
 
That's all great advice folks. Advice which I too have received, from dozens of wise people over the years. But like Meg I'm kinda not buying it. :mad:

Not for nothing, but y'all already have someone who loves you as you are.

Though there are many similarities between Meg and I the differences here which may be important are these: Style wise I am the antithesis of her. I'm a girly-girl, I love pink, and lavendar and frilly things. I wear high heels, makeup, heck I can run in a 3" stiletto.

When it comes to men, when I am myself I am ALWAYS thought of as just a friend or worse yet, their little brother.

You smug marrieds have no clue how frustrating and annoying it is for us sexy singletons (stealing terms from BJD). The dating game is far more complex these days and since my fave board game is Parcheesi I find myself woefully ill-equipped to compete in a World of Warcraft environment.
 
And did you miss where I had to wait 18 years for her? I was 38 when I got married. went more than 8 years with no sex whatsoever. I know people who have waited longer. If it is that good, it's worth waiting for. I think cigarbabe will back me on this. Had I married when I wanted to, I would be a divorcee today. I am not and my daughter will truly see a couple who believes in "til death do us part".

We need more relationships like that and maybe we will see fewer babies making babies.

Bitter I understand, but you will find it NJ, just as Megs will.
 
And did you miss where I had to wait 18 years for her? I was 38 when I got married. I went more than 8 years with no sex whatsoever. I know people who have waited longer. If it is that good, it's worth waiting for. I think cigarbabe will back me on this. Had I married when I wanted to, I would be a divorcee today. I am not and my daughter will truly see a couple who believes in "til death do us part". I'm 41 and my clock has been ticking for almost a decade. I've been the successful, professional woman. I did that while waiting for "HIM" quite frankly I don't care how much money I make if I don't have someone to share it with. :frown1::mad: We need more relationships like that and maybe we will see fewer babies making babies.

Bitter I understand, but you will find it NJ, just as Megs will. She's already got half of what I always wanted in life. :cool:
 
*HUGS* You know how much I love you girl. I have lived my life going with my instincts and my instincts tell me 2008 is your year. Be open to ANYTHING. I know you have standards, but my wife was the polar opposite of what I would have told you I wanted, yet where am I now?

Let go of your standards a bit, stop looking for it, get out there in the real world and you will find it. Correction. It will find you. It found Cigarbabe, it found SassySpy, it found MercurialBliss and it WILL find you.

You need to come up here during social season. You would be belle of the ball. All I'll say is this...

You come out next year and you can have the futon in the nursery with the baby. She'd love you to death as she is a girly girl too.
 
Boy am I out of the loop. :tongue:

Be careful what you wish for . . . I have been known to spoil small children rotten. :smile:

My friends husband flipped out when he saw how I was teaching his 2.5 year old daughter her colors. I explained that red was for rubies and put my ruby earrings on her cute little pierced ears. Green is for emeralds as I let her hold my emerald ring. It was too big for her fingers. She was so cute as she walked over to the window to see how it caught the sun and sparkled. He was afraid she would swallow the jewelry but I was very careful and I explained to her that jewelry was for wearing or holding not eating.

I haven't seen her much as they live far away but sometimes her mom lets me talk to her on the phone. For some reason she associates me with sparkly things and sweet chocolaty things. :biggrin1: Maybe because I always bring a case of TastyKakes when I fly out to see them. :wink:
 
Yes, we do. It starts when the spring rains pass and runs through summers end.

Leave the rubies home, she is already a jewelry nut.
 

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