Got caught in a messy situation with friends & my open marriage — what would you do?

Wow! That sounds really tough, like a real breakup. I'm sorry that you went through that. It also seems that there were various boundaries that had been broken, to different degrees of course. Like, the initial hookup between your husband and Johnny doesn't seem so bad, but because of the way it happened it left you feeling off-balance.

Dan's push-pull behaviour towards you does seem very unfair and kinda cruel, particularly because he decided to tell you that he wasn't into you. Obviously we only know what you're telling us, but that is messed up that he would do that. I mean, how could he not know that that would be very hurtful. Is he maybe young or very inexperienced with relationships?

I do have to say, your husband hooking up with both of them sounds... god, I don't wanna say it, but I think it sounds greedy. Or at least, maybe unaware of the optics or maybe unaware of how that would affect the dynamics of the couple-couple relationship.

Question: During the relationship with the other couple, did you tell your husband that you and Dan were being flirty with each other? Or was he unaware?
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