- Joined
- Apr 23, 2020
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- Norfolk, VA, USA
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- Male
I have this friend who I have been close with for some time, we always had a strange friendship (he would sleep in my bed, and we were extremely sensitive with each other), and we always dated girls and nothing ever happened between us (I'm a guy, he's a guy) however he eventually disappeared and we haven't spoken for 8 years. Just last year he reached out to me and we started hanging out again, I remember seeing him married and seemingly happy. I would come to visit him here and there but realized more and more-I've never met his wife. I started getting the feeling they were going to divorce, well, two weeks later after I asked him about his relationship and how it seemed weird I never met his wife....he told her he wanted to file for divorce.
Now that he's divorced he tells me he's wanting to practice his "fluidity" and how he doesn't want to go too far with me besides kissing? I guess I'm confused because one of the last things he said to me when we stopped talking was how he wanted a "straight guy friendship" but years later he reaches out and now he only seems to want to experiment with me (I never offered btw). Admittedly, he said he wasn't into me like that back then, but all of sudden I'm the only person he wants to move forward with his "fluidity". Apparently, he realized that being with his wife was not making him happy and his "fluidity" had nothing to do with it...
We hung out a few months ago and there was alcohol involved so we found ourselves making out, I realized it wasn't what I expected as I felt myself looking to fondle a breast and obviously, he doesn't have that LOL Anyway, we talked about things moving forward to try other stuff and then the following weekend he tells me, he sees my friendship with him as one he doesn't want to lose again and because of that he doesn't want to try anything because he sees his experimentation as something to try out with someone more or less to use them until he's comfortable and from there he will want to find someone based on his findings... I didn't like hearing this because I felt like I got played, and also I don't think "using" anyone is cool.
So 4 weeks later, we talk here and there but nowhere near as much as we used to (which used to be every day). At this point, I don't understand how someone goes from "not wanting ruin a friendship he fought hard to get back" to almost not speaking. He claims he's found his "introverted self" and is ok with hanging by himself again. After a few times of prodding he comes out with it and tells me he feels I may have "used him" for my own means of exploring and took advantage of him being single. I couldn't understand why he couldn't tell me that from the jump,but that obviously wasn't my M.O. Since this conversation we haven't spoken,should I leave it the way it is or address him again about it.
Now that he's divorced he tells me he's wanting to practice his "fluidity" and how he doesn't want to go too far with me besides kissing? I guess I'm confused because one of the last things he said to me when we stopped talking was how he wanted a "straight guy friendship" but years later he reaches out and now he only seems to want to experiment with me (I never offered btw). Admittedly, he said he wasn't into me like that back then, but all of sudden I'm the only person he wants to move forward with his "fluidity". Apparently, he realized that being with his wife was not making him happy and his "fluidity" had nothing to do with it...
We hung out a few months ago and there was alcohol involved so we found ourselves making out, I realized it wasn't what I expected as I felt myself looking to fondle a breast and obviously, he doesn't have that LOL Anyway, we talked about things moving forward to try other stuff and then the following weekend he tells me, he sees my friendship with him as one he doesn't want to lose again and because of that he doesn't want to try anything because he sees his experimentation as something to try out with someone more or less to use them until he's comfortable and from there he will want to find someone based on his findings... I didn't like hearing this because I felt like I got played, and also I don't think "using" anyone is cool.
So 4 weeks later, we talk here and there but nowhere near as much as we used to (which used to be every day). At this point, I don't understand how someone goes from "not wanting ruin a friendship he fought hard to get back" to almost not speaking. He claims he's found his "introverted self" and is ok with hanging by himself again. After a few times of prodding he comes out with it and tells me he feels I may have "used him" for my own means of exploring and took advantage of him being single. I couldn't understand why he couldn't tell me that from the jump,but that obviously wasn't my M.O. Since this conversation we haven't spoken,should I leave it the way it is or address him again about it.