“Gay”, but not wanting to interact with a penis. How to reconcile?

playklax01

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I was going to add that is it possible you may be demi-sexual? I found that out later in life for me, and when I did it made total sense. I need to know and connect to a person on the inside before I can find them truly attractive on the outside. Sex without knowing them closely is definitely out of the question. I know if someone is 'hot' or 'cute' to me, but the idea of sex with them at the point is not even a consideration. I don't want to use the word 'repulsive'...but yeah, repulsive. Only on VERY rare occasions will I find someone I don't know to be truly sexually attractive. And when that happens, it's an overwhelming feeling! But that only happens maybe once a year at most?
And like you kind of said, I would rather see someone naked or jerking off than be participating directly with them. I like getting dick pics in messages, and I can appreciate good looking ones, but would I suck it or take it right now? No!
 
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Almost40

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Maybe the term which best describes u, is yet to be discovered? I mean why does it have to be this or that..... Don't "reconcile" if it doesn't turn u on. Just make sure u give your hook ups - in advance - a hint about what gets u going. If it helps, I am more or less the same, in a "twisted" way, meaning that I may find great pleasure in just hugging a dude ( that I am attracted to) and nothing more. even with clothes on. Well let me tell u, I had a couple of experiences - like two or three - that involved just hugging... and boy they are stuck in my mind like the best thing ever. Why? Simply because the both of us got off pretty well. Now if that is described as internalized homophobia, or if it makes me a metrosexual or a softie or I don't win the prize of the best lover in the world, it's seriously the least of my concerns. To twist things even more, there's this completely different side of me, which gets pleasure only when my junk is satisfied. To help u understand what I mean, one of my most satisfying quickies, that gave me just that instant pleasure, involved a handsome dude that checked me out in public while I was walkingback home. It was late, like 2 am, mid summer, people passing by were not bothered, mostly drunk youths and couples sitting by the waterfront. I got the message, we just went behind a bush, I whipped it out, he got on his knees and blah blah blah.... Does that make me the king of quickies, or cheap, or the slut of the century, I really don't care at all. As already said, the both of us were happy, it was a blow and go, wham bam thank u mam and that's what I needed. I see no reason why anyone MUST fall under a specific category, as long as they are happy with their own experiences. To sum things up, DONT force yourself to do something you don't want to, just make sure your partnerns / hook ups are on the same page. Peace.
 

Asstastic87

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I wouldn't think too much about it. Like I don't interact with dick very often and I still have never bottomed or have ever had an interest in bottoming in my 34 years. Still gay af(even though I have been with women and am down with it occasionally still). It doesn't need to be another label and doesn't have to mean anything internally. Maybe it's more "intimate" in a way to you compared to other acts. It's easy to somewhat distance yourself(as weird as that may sound) when it comes to do actual sex vs sucking. Maybe it just seems too much to do if you don't have a mental/emotional connection. The only times I have had any level of enjoyment of sucking is when I felt comfortable with the person I was doing it with in the sense that I knew them very well before I did it. Meanwhile I can eat a man's hole like an aardvark without knowing his name. We're all weird in some fashion :)
 
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deleted13779311

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I’m starting to think I’m actually more of a heterosexual than homosexual because, men have penises, and the only thing that makes men sexual is his penis
Why would you think that? There are plenty of men who enjoy sex without having their own penis touched. I don't think there is anything to reconcile, just get with people you are sexually compatible with. It seems you are hung up on some misconceptions that simply aren't true.
 

tsfan1

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Why would you think that? There are plenty of men who enjoy sex without having their own penis touched. I don't think there is anything to reconcile, just get with people you are sexually compatible with. It seems you are hung up on some misconceptions that simply aren't true.
He likes to fuck guys in their asshole, that s why he thinks he might be straight.

Get it? Me neither.
 
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JRyanD

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I simply only enjoy being the top more.
There’s your answer right there.
I think I might be attracted to women instead of men, or FTM people.
It doesn’t really work like that? Either you’re attracted to someone or you aren’t. Do you actually find yourself attracted to women? Or men? Or trans men?

In my personal opinion, it sounds like you’d rather be a strict top. That way you don’t have to do what’s “expected” of a bottom. If you like the idea of a vagina but are attracted to men, then maybe sex with a trans man is your best course of action.
 

milcham1000

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Hello everyone!
well that sounds heaven to me. I am non-binary, AMAB, I am masculine and attracted to men only. I don't like at all when my partner focus on my penis, I would prefer him to completely ignore it. As a matter of fact, I am in the process having surgery to change sex but yet staying manly as I am now. I see my self as a man with vagina and that is how I totally feel. So, if there are men like you and men like me, what's wrong with that?​
 

GetNakedIGotAPlan

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Hello everyone!
well that sounds heaven to me. I am non-binary, AMAB, I am masculine and attracted to men only. I don't like at all when my partner focus on my penis, I would prefer him to completely ignore it. As a matter of fact, I am in the process having surgery to change sex but yet staying manly as I am now. I see my self as a man with vagina and that is how I totally feel. So, if there are men like you and men like me, what's wrong with that?​
I have yet to interact with a vagina, but I really hope that one day I will get the experience to. Sex with a vagina would seem much more pleasuring than an anus. Transgender are very rare as it is, and the chances of me having sex with one are even slimer.

Truthfully, I’ve tried to look at straight porn and seeing a ciswoman get fucked just doesn’t give me a boner. On the other hand I’ve jerked off to clips of transmen with their vaginas still there and it’s pretty hot. But it’s just porn. To be fair I would first need to have sex with these people before I really come to that conclusion.

It could also be, maybe I have a bad experience and change my mind. The first guy I hooked up was black and it was a bad experience for several reasons but it wasn’t until recently I hooked up with another one despite me finding plenty of black men attractive.
 

milcham1000

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I also believe that humans are attracted beyond the men, women or both spectrum, or that are beyond the simplistic gay, straight or bi. In my opinion the spectrum is much more wide and who knows whether there are men that are attracted to others like manly man with vagina, to stay on the topic, or women with a penis and so on... As a matter of fact there are many transgender women and men that do not go under surgery to get SRS as they don't feel that is something that complete themselves in their identity and there are transgender men and women who instead this step is necessary. I feel like the spectrum is wide and the one of this thread i sone of them. I do not think that a bad or good experience can make you like or dislike, or, feel attraction or not to certain persons...
 
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Big_a_20

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It’s funny I thought I was the only one that didn’t like interacting with another dudes dick during sex. When I’m talking to hookups, I describe myself as a selfish top; I’ll make out but only looking to get sucked, eat ass, and fuck. With the right dude I do enjoy jerking and a little oral swap but I know I only do that until the other guy starts really sucking my dick. Sexuality is def a spectrum and nothing wrong with saying what you like and don’t like to do. But I’ll also say “never say never”. You never know what you might end up liking.
 

GetNakedIGotAPlan

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It’s funny I thought I was the only one that didn’t like interacting with another dudes dick during sex. When I’m talking to hookups, I describe myself as a selfish top; I’ll make out but only looking to get sucked, eat ass, and fuck. With the right dude I do enjoy jerking and a little oral swap but I know I only do that until the other guy starts really sucking my dick. Sexuality is def a spectrum and nothing wrong with saying what you like and don’t like to do. But I’ll also say “never say never”. You never know what you might end up liking.
Have you tried getting your ass ate? If not I definitely think you should try it. I also luvvvv making out omg best apart of sex