“not safe for women”

[286798]

Ma'am, I am not sure to whom your response is directed. I agree with your view. Women come up WAY short in the violence game. I started my post with a statement that women have FAR more to fear at the hands of a man, than men do at the hands of women. This is the part that you quoted. Please re-read my post. Perhaps you were addressing another person, and I got mixed in somehow.

It was not directed at you... that's for sure. I'm not sure if the other person got the boot (he was my first and so far only ignore).

 

[deleted924715]

I'll just leave this here, I don't need to add a comment:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-41605935

 

[Mule]

The sophistication of the human brain (and its product, modern society) has positive and negative consequences. While humans are capable of breathtaking kindness and incredible ingenuity, the bell curve has another tail wherein resides some staggering idiocy, dysfunction and vileness. I was a very naive young adult, and I'm sorry to say that I've spent the last twenty years being increasingly shocked at just how fucked up some people are. Even with the "scientific remove" of studying human behavior through the lens of cognitive psychology, I am still deeply saddened by the way a proportion of men view women as objects worthy of vilification, domination, violence and sexual resentment.

The only thing that makes the awareness of these unconscionable misogynists, harassers, assaulters and rapists bearable is that other bell curve tail. There are people who are astonishingly selfless and giving. There are many more that are mostly decent, kind and have good intentions. I just try to pin my hope on the idea that most people are essentially good and want to treat others well. There is hope and human society has been getting slowly better over time, but we still have a long, long way to go. How young men are socialized, especially regarding gender roles and sexual identity, is a good place to start. But progress is hampered by all the weird, deeply-seated societal hang-ups surrounding anything sexual. We need to become MUCH more sex-positive and provide young people with accurate knowledge about sex, gender and equitable relationships. If people are educated and socialized in a way that eliminates the shame and guilt from normal sexual feelings, perhaps we will be more able to confront and condemn the toxic attitudes that precede sexually violent crimes against women.

 

[MickeyLee]

Some people need to be eliminated from gene pool.

My thought and heart go out to her.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

I'll just leave this here, I don't need to add a comment:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-41605935

I can't like the post.
I'm shaking angry.

 

[Mule]

I get mind-bendingly angry too, but then it just makes me so sad.

Like that fool who has been posting earlier in the thread, hiding behind statistics and a supposed logical approach while ignoring the real impact on real people. This resentment against women, the stereotyping: "She rejected me so all women are bitches and need to suffer so I can protect my insecure ego."

At the "mild" end, it makes for an insufferable misogynist. At the other, a rapist.

 

[deleted924715]

I can't like the post.
I'm shaking angry.

I can recall a couple of times in recent years when it has been reported that a woman has escaped from/been released by her attacker only to be attacked again by a stranger she approached for help. What is wrong with people?

 

[AlteredEgo]

On the Uber People forum, someone called me trigger happy and paranoid because I drew a pistol on a passenger who accidentally discharged a cattle prod in my back seat. Yeah. Okay. I didn't pull the trigger. I took a beat to assess the situation. I quickly realized the passenger was simply arming herself for the dimly lit walk to her apartment. We were two women, just trying to keep ourselves safe. One of us knows how to handle the responsibility of her weapon, the other is foolish, and nearly electrocuted her own pregnant belly. But neither of us should have to be thus armed in a civilized society.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

I can recall a couple of times in recent years when it has been reported that a woman has escaped from/been released by her attacker only to be attacked again by a stranger she approached for help. What is wrong with people?

I'm very glad I don't remember much of an ethnically-motivated attack I survived in 1988. I only saw one attacker. The medical report suggests three, because of angles. And this wasn't rape, a beating that nearly took my life.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

On the Uber People forum, someone called me trigger happy and paranoid because I drew a pistol on a passenger who accidentally discharged a cattle prod in my back seat. Yeah. Okay. I didn't pull the trigger. I took a beat to assess the situation. I quickly realized the passenger was simply arming herself for the dimly lit walk to her apartment. We were two women, just trying to keep ourselves safe. One of us knows how to handle the responsibility of her weapon, the other is foolish, and nearly electrocuted her own pregnant belly. But neither of us should have to be thus armed in a civilized society.

I feel the same, even as I look at tasers/pepper spray/etc.

 

[MickeyLee]

I can't like the post.
I'm shaking angry.

A story linked from the article details the rash of acid attacks in the UK. 400+ this year alone.

I understand the not all men argument. I know good men, I love a good man. But until all men speak out against violence toward women it's an all men issue.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

I'll be stepping away from this particular conversation permanently. I've stated before that my darker fantasies include taking people like those men and reciprocating the displeasure.

This is the part of me I'm not so fond of.

 

[deleted924715]

I remember being incredibly sad when my son realised I was vulnerable in certain situations because I'm a woman. The same teenager who would refuse to let me pick him up from a friends house because he wanted to walk home and would accuse me of 'babying' him is blowing up my phone if it's dark and I'm more than 10 minutes late. I'm his mum, he should have been able to think of me as invulnerable for longer.

 

[deleted924715]

I'm very glad I don't remember much of an ethnically-motivated attack I survived in 1988. I only saw one attacker. The medical report suggests three, because of angles. And this wasn't rape, a beating that nearly took my life.

I'm so sorry you went through that

 

[AlteredEgo]

I feel the same, even as I look at tasers/pepper spray/etc.

When I do ride-sharing, I have a pistol, two knives, a stun gun, a torch lighter, and a hammer hidden through the vehicle. I keep the pistol hidden while I drive. I keep the lighter on my person. The hammer is in the glove box. One knife is really a Leatherman, and I keep it with the spare tire. My tire iron isn't heavy enough to use effectively against a large man. The stun gun is hidden behind my handy vac in the cargo hold. The other knife is also hidden in the cabin, in a different cubby than the pistol, where I can reach with my right hand. I have to grab the pistol left-handed, but even so, I'm confident I won't miss if forced to pull the trigger. The assailant would be too close to miss, even with my poorly practiced lefty, and even if I miss, the assailant is unlikely to stick around for a mark as difficult as I would be.

I am always, ALWAYS armed.

The other day, I was pulling up to a house where I take breaks from driving, and saw a woman being beaten severely by a large man. Several neighbors watched, including a grown man, and did nothing. I began screaming at the guy to stop. The victim asked for someone to call police, so I did, in strict violation of my policy to never trust cops. I continued to approach the pair, yelling orders for him to stop. I didn't have my pistol (planned to spend time around children without a gun safe) so I approached with a large knife drawn, and warned the man that cops were coming, and would likely shoot a large black man beating a small white woman. I also remarked they'd shoot me next, because I had a knife out. Then I told him if I got close enough before the cops, I'd start stabbing him. And I would have, too. At this, he looked at me walking calmly toward him, looked at my knife, punched the lady one last time, and ran off. The lady quickly straightened out her clothes, grabbed her belongings, and stumbled away without so much as a thank you. I assume she was in shock. She did not respond when I told her I was an EMT and would like to look at her injuries. The dude sped past in a motor vehicle, and I did not catch the plate. I went to the house, made my pit stop, and got the fuck out of the area before police responded. I don't talk to cops.

Another time, I had a passenger beside me. She hired an Uber to take her son and his date from a parking lot near the beach, all the way to a Navy base in Norfolk. Then, I was to go back toward the beach, to a hotel where she was staying while visiting her son. Apparently, he parked in a lot for a restaurant, but did not return before the business closed, and he'd gotten his mother's car towed. She and I say at the tow lot, and waited half an hour for someone to return there so she could pick up her car. She asked me to stay with her. It was dark, very late, isolated, and hard to see from the road, so of course, I agreed. She was visibly agitated about our isolation. She remarked that her pistol was in the trunk of her car, and she'd feel better if she had it. Hers was a 9mm Glock, so I showed her my Beretta, chambered a round in front of her, and showed her where the safety was. I put it on the console where either of us could grab it. She was instantly calm.

I just don't think some men understand how vulnerable some of us feel, just being women, just trying to do our thing without being robbed or otherwise accosted.

 

[AlteredEgo]

I'm very glad I don't remember much of an ethnically-motivated attack I survived in 1988. I only saw one attacker. The medical report suggests three, because of angles. And this wasn't rape, a beating that nearly took my life.

Jeebus. I missed this post somehow. *huggle*.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Jeebus. I missed this post somehow. *huggle*.

I don't know if I have told the story here.
Charlottesville triggered some stuff, and I have blabberfingered it elsewhere.
Long made short- dude was hitting on me in bar where I was singing.
I did not return interest.
He followed me to truck during load out, bandmate forgot the don't leave anyone alone rule.
Dude makes sexual comments again, I turn him down.
He sees Start of David necklace, uses a couple slurs, punches me in the face. I hit the ground, feel a few kicks, and blessedly, pass out.
Woke in a hospital.

Friends collected me from hospital a couple days later.
First song on radio was Touch of Grey by the Grateful Dead.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

When I do ride-sharing, I have a pistol, two knives, a stun gun, a torch lighter, and a hammer hidden through the vehicle. I keep the pistol hidden while I drive. I keep the lighter on my person. The hammer is in the glove box. One knife is really a Leatherman, and I keep it with the spare tire. My tire iron isn't heavy enough to use effectively against a large man. The stun gun is hidden behind my handy vac in the cargo hold. The other knife is also hidden in the cabin, in a different cubby than the pistol, where I can reach with my right hand. I have to grab the pistol left-handed, but even so, I'm confident I won't miss if forced to pull the trigger. The assailant would be too close to miss, even with my poorly practiced lefty, and even if I miss, the assailant is unlikely to stick around for a mark as difficult as I would be.

I am always, ALWAYS armed.

The other day, I was pulling up to a house where I take breaks from driving, and saw a woman being beaten severely by a large man. Several neighbors watched, including a grown man, and did nothing. I began screaming at the guy to stop. The victim asked for someone to call police, so I did, in strict violation of my policy to never trust cops. I continued to approach the pair, yelling orders for him to stop. I didn't have my pistol (planned to spend time around children without a gun safe) so I approached with a large knife drawn, and warned the man that cops were coming, and would likely shoot a large black man beating a small white woman. I also remarked they'd shoot me next, because I had a knife out. Then I told him if I got close enough before the cops, I'd start stabbing him. And I would have, too. At this, he looked at me walking calmly toward him, looked at my knife, punched the lady one last time, and ran off. The lady quickly straightened out her clothes, grabbed her belongings, and stumbled away without so much as a thank you. I assume she was in shock. She did not respond when I told her I was an EMT and would like to look at her injuries. The dude sped past in a motor vehicle, and I did not catch the plate. I went to the house, made my pit stop, and got the fuck out of the area before police responded. I don't talk to cops.

Another time, I had a passenger beside me. She hired an Uber to take her son and his date from a parking lot near the beach, all the way to a Navy base in Norfolk. Then, I was to go back toward the beach, to a hotel where she was staying while visiting her son. Apparently, he parked in a lot for a restaurant, but did not return before the business closed, and he'd gotten his mother's car towed. She and I say at the tow lot, and waited half an hour for someone to return there so she could pick up her car. She asked me to stay with her. It was dark, very late, isolated, and hard to see from the road, so of course, I agreed. She was visibly agitated about our isolation. She remarked that her pistol was in the trunk of her car, and she'd feel better if she had it. Hers was a 9mm Glock, so I showed her my Beretta, chambered a round in front of her, and showed her where the safety was. I put it on the console where either of us could grab it. She was instantly calm.

I just don't think some men understand how vulnerable some of us feel, just being women, just trying to do our thing without being robbed or otherwise accosted.

Huggles right backatcha.

Thanks for being a stand up person.

Being pale, I use that advantage when I see police with a person of color (also any homeless person). I whip out a phone. Look directly at the cops and say, "recording."

Because the shit they'd catch for shooting an almost 50 yo "white" woman would stop them. (And fuck our society for that)
The whole Jewish thing would go worse. Anti Semitic layered on harassing black folks is a reporter's dream.

 

[AlteredEgo]

I don't know if I have told the story here.
Charlottesville triggered some stuff, and I have blabberfingered it elsewhere.
Long made short- dude was hitting on me in bar where I was singing.
I did not return interest.
He followed me to truck during load out, bandmate forgot the don't leave anyone alone rule.
Dude makes sexual comments again, I turn him down.
He sees Start of David necklace, uses a couple slurs, punches me in the face. I hit the ground, feel a few kicks, and blessedly, pass out.
Woke in a hospital.

Friends collected me from hospital a couple days later.
First song on radio was Touch of Grey by the Grateful Dead.

Wow. That was awful. In light of how many times I have this year read about young women saying no, and then being murdered, I'm so glad it wasn't any worse. It was bad enough as is. I'll never understand why some people do what they do.

Huggles right backatcha.

Thanks for being a stand up person.

Being pale, I use that advantage when I see police with a person of color (also any homeless person). I whip out a phone. Look directly at the cops and say, "recording."

Because the shit they'd catch for shooting an almost 50 yo "white" woman would stop them. (And fuck our society for that)
The whole Jewish thing would go worse. Anti Semitic layered on harassing black folks is a reporter's dream.

Fight the power.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

AE, the idiot was a Confederate HammerSkin.
He actually got off because he turned evidence in a murder case.
Beating a woman almost to,death is nothing compared to a rapist getting shot.

I don't feel I got justice, but I know that justice was done, some CHS members went to jail. One got death, I believe, but I cannot remember and will not do that research. Too triggering.