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Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by _avg_, Jan 25, 2009.
Be honest: can you get into a relationship with someone who's broke - poverty level broke?
Yeah. I could.
You would have to define relationship, if it's love it does not come with a price tag. If it's something else it might!
hmmmm......i honestly don't see how that would work out.
it's really tough...
it can be draining...especially emotionally...
you feel bad for people who are in bad situations & want to help...
but one can only do so much...
Are people with money deserving of love and respect more than those without? I don't think so. There has to be more to relationships than just money.
in the grips of new and i adore you, i wouldn't even think twice about a person's financial status.
reality would leave me a nervous wreck. i get a little over protective, let me fix that for you in relationships. the fretting and worrying about my lovely's situation would exhaust me pretty damn quick.
i have been in relationships with women that were broke. for me a relationship is based on the person, not their bank account.
Good question, and an astute observation.
But when push comes to shove, could it not be an obstacle, at least, if not a deciding factor?
When I say, broke, I mean BROKE. Poverty level broke. Ramen noodle diet. NO car. Bankrupt.
Everyone says its not an issue but I think they're putting up appearances.
Sorry, but I'm a little confused. In the first part you say it wouldn't matter - at the beginning on the relationship - but in the second part say that it would wear you out eventually. Soooo...you're saying that it wouldn't be a factor in INITIATING a relationship, but it would be a factor in MAINTAINING one. Am I reading that correctly?
But then, what if you met someone who was your soulmate and that person was poverty-level broke...eating ramen noodles. No car? Bankrupt?
What if you were born into poverty? What if your parents were? There are plenty of people who are poor but really are rich beyond measure.
You never know who or how a person can enrich one's life based on monetary status and position.
ya are pretty much got it right.
in the first couple weeks of head rush and heart flutter i wouldn't be bother by it. once infatuation faded and being in a relationship kicked in there would be problems.
the impulse to be with a person doesn't mean things will work out. i know i'm not mature enough to put up the boundaries needed to keep the relationship healthy for both people.
ummm so i would get in the relationship but the relationship would end badly. mostly in burnt out or resentment. selfish gimme-gimme battles it out with common sense. so a yes or no answer isn't obvious or easy.
i'm getting to the point in life where i would just walk away before things got started or entangled. not really sure if i like the personality shift. i don't know if i am putting up walls or just handling others with more caution.
Ok you are alone in Arizona. Do you just not want to be alone? What is your motivation for a relationship? How old are both of you? I'm only asking because If you are both young (under 30) you have a whole life to build wealth and buy cars and make your way in the world together. However if you are looking for someone to make life easier in the short run or not be alone you are with the wrong woman. If you are looking to build a life together than you are with the right person.
well considering most people my age are at the poverty level whether they want to admit it to themselves or not, I would say yes, I could, but only if she's in college
Over 30, don't want to be alone...and it's ME who's broke. (Not that anyone is interested) [edit - and it's rhetorical; just curious if others view me as I think they do]
ahmm maybe yes maybe no
I'm in college and most of the people I know are broke. I love them anyway!
I met a precious gf on internet. we live rather close. After much internet and then cybering,,, and then c2c, we met... She is raising a child by herself and has nothing.
We share a great experience of love and caring and sharing.
Our circumstances make marriage or living together impossible. but we try to be together every two weeks or so. I help her a bit with things but my income is also limited.
I have been in a relationship with someone who was/is broke. He lost his house and is not homeless ONLY because a friend lets him live with them in return for odd jobs. He has no car and drives his friend's car to run errands (he drives several people to different places).
It's hard though, especially now that I'm poor, too! I do have a car, but if my car breaks down, I'd have to cash in my retirement account even to buy a used car. I wouldn't be able to get a loan now because I work temp/seasonal/part-time jobs. I used to have a steady job and was much better off, and at that time it was a little frustrating being in a relationship with someone who was broke, but now with my own current situation, it would be a LOT frustrating!
So yes, I could, but preferably for my creature comforts, I'd want someone with a steady job - doesn't have to be rich, just stable.
I think it's so funny that "no car" is defined as one of the ground rules for being _really broke_. I live in an area where even my very comfortable friends find that having a personal vehicle is more of a liability than an asset. That said, I am both broke and carless. Currently I'm more broke than I've ever been in my life - I just finished my undergraduate education in a foreign country (funded by scholarships) and came back to a dire economy. I've never lived on more than $25,000 a year, however - the jobs I held during my twenties were largely unskilled and low-paid.
For me, a more relevant question would be "Would you date someone who _isn't_ broke?" I find it uncomfortable, because they want to do things that I'm unable to participate in. While a dinner out can be nice on occasion, I'd rather date someone who enjoyed cooking up goodies from the farmer's market at home more often than not. My last boyfriend had a car and used it daily, and I found that to be an extreme turnoff - I'm very ecologically-minded, and found it frustrating that he didn't own a bicycle since most of the places we went were too far away to walk to but would've made for a breezy bike ride (5-10 miles).