18th Birthday + Just came out!

Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by Shinobu, Oct 17, 2010.

  1. Shinobu

    Shinobu New Member

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    Hey everyone, my 18th birthday was yesterday! I can now [legally] join the LPSG community.

    So, I came out to my mom last night. Things went well. I asked if we could "talk about something" and she sat down. I told her that I felt like I was about to drop a bomb on her. She could tell I was ballz nervous and asked what it was. I looked away and hid my face in my left hand, and then she started asking "Is it bad? Does it have to do with crime? Drugs? Sex?" She kept on like that (asking specific categorical questions) and then I just said it to make her stop and to get it out there. "I'm gay."

    "You are?"
    "Yes."
    "Are you sure?"
    "Yes."

    I wish I remembered more of her initial response, but that's all I can recall specifically. She asked how long I knew for, told me she had absolutely no idea (if we're going to be stereotypical, I'm rather "straight-acting"), and said "You're a sista now!" much to my dismay and slight offense. Most awkward question award goes to: (After explaining that I knew since I was 12...) "So you knew because were attracted to other boys?" which resulted in a sigh from me and an "...awkward." I mean, she had to know the answer to that one if I just told her that I'm gay.

    She's accepting of it, though the thought of gay sex disgusts her (which is to be expected, I guess). My sister brought it up at my birthday dinner (fun family conversation, right?) for whatever reason and they both agreed that they're okay with gays until they think about "what they do in the bedroom."

    "Exit only!" said my mother.
    "Not all gays like anal sex," said I, to their astonishment.

    Anyways, she's the 3rd person who knows (2 friends know). I'm planning on going public with it soon, even though I'm still in high school which could make things a bit difficult. I'm just tired of not entirely being myself, you know? There's never a "good" day to do it, so I thought I might as well do it on my birthday. They can't get mad at me on my birthday, haha. Other impetuses include how it's National Coming Out week, how I wanted to get it out in the open so I can write my college essay about it and ask for critiques, and that little dinner conversation that got me a tad riled.

    tl;dr version: I came out to my mom on my 18th birthday, and it was okay for the most part.

    So, hello LPSG!
     
  2. maxcok

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    Good for you, that's a very courageous and self-affirming thing to do.

    You might want to refer your Mom and sister to PFLAG for more information and to help them come to terms.

    Welcome to LPSG, and I wish you all the best.

    And Happy 18th Birthday! :party2:
     
  3. Shinobu

    Shinobu New Member

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    Thank you! Maybe I'll just inconspicuously leave that site up on the family computer...haha
     
  4. porn_addict

    porn_addict Well-Known Member

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    Congratulations. It's wonderful to proclaim and accept who you are while still young. I volunteer occasionally with PFLAG in Waltham. Great organization. Oh btw, happy birthday! I'm 35 today. We're both Libras :)
     
  5. maxcok

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    Really? Is it that awkward? Why not just say, "Look Mom, I know you probably have a lot of questions and concerns. These people have tons of information and loads of experience with this. Why don't you take a look?
    Try being positive and proactive, and expect them to respond the same way. In some ways you may have to assume the role of adult here.

    I don't know what your school situation is, but I would think carefully about the dynamics there before coming out with a big bang. Maybe tell a few people at a time whom you trust, until you've built up some support with friends who will get your back in case anything goes south. Maybe speak privately with your school counselor too so they're aware just in case any problems develop.

    Again, best of luck. I'll be interested in hearing how things go.
     
  6. True_Blue

    Verified Gold Member

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    Wow, congrats!! I'm planning on doing the same soon. It's awesome that your mother is okay with it (mostly). And, btw, Happy Birthday!!
     
  7. jump_start

    jump_start Member

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    Congratulations and happy birthday!

    I hope your family will get more and more comfortable with it as time goes on. Sounds like you're on a good path. I wish I would have been able to come out at your age. It would have made things in my life much easier in the long run.
     
  8. Shinobu

    Shinobu New Member

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    (Thanks for the birthday wishes, True_Blue and jump_start!)
    Waltham, you say? I used to have family there, and I'm applying to Brandeis. Happy birthday to you, too! We're the best scales in town.

    T'was a joke - I was just kidding about leaving it up on the computer. That's really not my style. I'm much more direct in how I operate. I'll think about showing my mom the site, but I probably made her out to seem less accepting than she is. She has "always thought gay people were cool and now I have one in my family!" Like any parent, I'm sure she just needs time to adjust. Thank you for your suggestions though! I greatly appreciate them and thank you for your concern.

    As for the school dynamics, I do live in a conservative town but I have many gay-friendly friends. Now, I don't want to seem immodest and like a...stupid, boastful, high-schooler-esque, arrogant asshole here, but I'm pretty well-liked and popular at my school. I'm student government president, always get nominated for homecoming court, prom court, etc. I honestly don't think people would openly be mean to me about my sexuality, partially because of my social standing, but mostly because I'm never a dick to anyone and I always treat everyone nicely. Being an intimidating 6'2" doesn't hurt things either :biggrin1: I'll probably tell more of my close friends and just let it diffuse through the student body by word of mouth. I am aware however that there will always be those loud homophobic assholes. Painters gonna paint, skaters gonna skate, haters gonna hate. [masturbaters gonna masturbate]
     

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  9. maxcok

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    ^ You're gonna do great, and who knows, maybe an inspiration for some other kids.

    Come back to the thread now and then, and let us know how things progress. :grinning-smiley-003
     
  10. Shinobu

    Shinobu New Member

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    Thanks! Will do.
     
  11. andyhill

    andyhill New Member

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    Happy Birthday! Didn't realize it when we talked before. Your courage is admirable. I know that it's going to, in the long run, make your life much easier with your family...not having to hide and have secrets. That's a huge first step and you should really be proud of yourself!
     
  12. Shinobu

    Shinobu New Member

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    Thanks Andy! Yeah, it's hard, but it's for the best.
     
  13. jamiedmc

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    that is so good to hear... very inspiring. I hope it all goes well for you. Regards from western Mass.
     
  14. rob_

    rob_ Active Member

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    Welcome to LPSG!!!!
    Happy Birthday!!!!
    Congratulations!!!!

    ...Am I missing anything??
     
  15. 1NiceRod

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    Happy birthday! Congratulations on coming out. I hope everyone is as accepting as your family and the friends you have told so far.
     
  16. TopDudeFtl

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    Happy Birthday fellow Libran & congrats on getting the hard part done. It's all uphill from here!
     
  17. mandoman

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    Congratulations, on your birthday, joining LPSG, and coming out.
    I'm your neighbor, as well.
     
  18. nakedladuk

    nakedladuk New Member

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    :banana: Well happy birthday and double congratulations :banana:
     
  19. Shinobu

    Shinobu New Member

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    Thank you all!
     
  20. NightOwlGate

    NightOwlGate New Member

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    Owned.

    Anyway, my mom was a bitch about it.
     
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