(Yes I know they are bad) 1 So this really backwater hick from the deepest deep south is hired by a big name football team, and they offer to take him to lunhc to discuss his contract and future with the club. They take him to a very upmarket resturant, which amazes him since before he's only been to a Popeye's or a Dairy Queen, so he's sitting and looking for ages and ages, and the waitress comes to order, and asks all the others first, then comes around to him, and he grabs her ass and says "Gee hon' I'll have a quicke!" to which she slaps him across the face, and he says "Gee thats only what it says on the menu - see? a 'Quickie'!" To which she replies stunned "No, thats a Quiche!" ------------ 2 A country Hick has been hired by a major league baseball team, and they offer to take him out to lunch. The executive warns him that its a "black tie lunch" to which he says "Thats ok, I'll eat any foreign junk!"