- Joined
- May 15, 2011
- Posts
- 122
- Media
- 1
- Likes
- 35
- Points
- 63
- Location
- LaLaLand, SoCal
- Sexuality
- 100% Straight, 0% Gay
- Gender
- Male
1. Edging as a jerkoff pastime is not healthy. It can burn out your erection break fluid, lead to blueballs and an enlarged prostate.
2. Thin splooge is preferable to thick. Thick means too many fatty food products are mixed in. Penile firemen put out sexual fires with agua goo, not milk shakes. Thick may look nastier on a gal, but thin feels better.
3. Alcohol destroys the male member...and beer contains female hormones. And you thought booze like red meat made HeMen more macho. LOL!
4. A good facial will make a pretty girl ugly and an ugly girl pretty. And if they happen to be felching, then you won't be able to tell 'em apart.
5. I once timed my cumshot in porn at 12 mph. If you can beat that, then wet your wick in the jizz biz. And don't worry about size. An average guy with big shot caliber cum bullets beats a whopper that drips.
5 A cumshot in pleasures of the flesh is like a song in a musical. If your lady isn't into your orgasm music, cast Mr. Happy with another costar.
6. Slobby women are the best oral sex target girls. But beware neat freaks. They are the cum dodgers.
7. There is no way to make your dick bigger without running the risk of destroying its function. I knew a guy in porn who once got surgery to be hung. And when it didn't work, he was on the verge of doing himself in.
8. If you are young and can cum half a dozen or more times a day, revel in it and don't waste it on autoeroticism. Because with age the day will come when 3 is a stretch and there are less holes to chose from.
9. Early in the day is best for sexual biorhythm. They don't call it morning wood for nothing.
10. When gravity is the enemy of a big dick, do her bum in the bow position and let her hang on.
11. Abstinence is good if you're a smut stud who needs to save it for the camera. If you're not, it's just lost lust time that you didn't get off in the finite days of your love life.
12. In the quest for a testosterone mojo edge, bio-identical hormones are preferred. When you put something synthetic into your body, you're asking for trouble.
13. Erectile dysfunction is not a disease in itself to be treated with a pill fix. A limp dick is evidence of underlying health issues that must be addressed.
14. Size matters. But it will not if you don't think it does or don't care. There are too many big dick tragedy life stories in porn to figure otherwise.
15. A girl who swallows is a healthy dick's best birth control friend. So if you have one to feed your seed, cherish her mouth hugs.
16. If you're ever bored and under the weather, try a high fever orgasm. It's like being on a self sick care drug and lighting the J between your legs.
17. For early bloomers with lots of Os behind them, try the piss orgasm. If your plumbing is good enough and you take a whiz right after a nut, it'll be like a yellow ejaculatory version. And especially if you can control the flow. Rare but true.
18. To end the size debate where big ends and huge begins, we'll call 8 the dividing line. And if ochos seem to have the biggest cum shots, then they have all big boys beat with both size and shooting ability.
19. Don't judge penile prowess by the exploits of sexual tradesmen. Your average lady killer pick up artist is a smut stud in his private life. He just doesn't have the home movie to show it.
20. Size queens, give the average and the little some love. Big dick dudes don't need support groups. They need support underwear.
2. Thin splooge is preferable to thick. Thick means too many fatty food products are mixed in. Penile firemen put out sexual fires with agua goo, not milk shakes. Thick may look nastier on a gal, but thin feels better.
3. Alcohol destroys the male member...and beer contains female hormones. And you thought booze like red meat made HeMen more macho. LOL!
4. A good facial will make a pretty girl ugly and an ugly girl pretty. And if they happen to be felching, then you won't be able to tell 'em apart.
5. I once timed my cumshot in porn at 12 mph. If you can beat that, then wet your wick in the jizz biz. And don't worry about size. An average guy with big shot caliber cum bullets beats a whopper that drips.
5 A cumshot in pleasures of the flesh is like a song in a musical. If your lady isn't into your orgasm music, cast Mr. Happy with another costar.
6. Slobby women are the best oral sex target girls. But beware neat freaks. They are the cum dodgers.
7. There is no way to make your dick bigger without running the risk of destroying its function. I knew a guy in porn who once got surgery to be hung. And when it didn't work, he was on the verge of doing himself in.
8. If you are young and can cum half a dozen or more times a day, revel in it and don't waste it on autoeroticism. Because with age the day will come when 3 is a stretch and there are less holes to chose from.
9. Early in the day is best for sexual biorhythm. They don't call it morning wood for nothing.
10. When gravity is the enemy of a big dick, do her bum in the bow position and let her hang on.
11. Abstinence is good if you're a smut stud who needs to save it for the camera. If you're not, it's just lost lust time that you didn't get off in the finite days of your love life.
12. In the quest for a testosterone mojo edge, bio-identical hormones are preferred. When you put something synthetic into your body, you're asking for trouble.
13. Erectile dysfunction is not a disease in itself to be treated with a pill fix. A limp dick is evidence of underlying health issues that must be addressed.
14. Size matters. But it will not if you don't think it does or don't care. There are too many big dick tragedy life stories in porn to figure otherwise.
15. A girl who swallows is a healthy dick's best birth control friend. So if you have one to feed your seed, cherish her mouth hugs.
16. If you're ever bored and under the weather, try a high fever orgasm. It's like being on a self sick care drug and lighting the J between your legs.
17. For early bloomers with lots of Os behind them, try the piss orgasm. If your plumbing is good enough and you take a whiz right after a nut, it'll be like a yellow ejaculatory version. And especially if you can control the flow. Rare but true.
18. To end the size debate where big ends and huge begins, we'll call 8 the dividing line. And if ochos seem to have the biggest cum shots, then they have all big boys beat with both size and shooting ability.
19. Don't judge penile prowess by the exploits of sexual tradesmen. Your average lady killer pick up artist is a smut stud in his private life. He just doesn't have the home movie to show it.
20. Size queens, give the average and the little some love. Big dick dudes don't need support groups. They need support underwear.
Unfortunately the only pussy I got at the moment is glaring at me funny - nothing gets my cat higher strung than a belly laugh out of me. :>
