20 Words That Should Exist

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by Scrufuss, Oct 10, 2008.

  1. Scrufuss

    Scrufuss New Member

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    20 Words That Should Exist
    by Rich Hall, whoever he is

    1. ACCORDIONATED (ah kor’ de on ay tid) adj. Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time.
    2. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks’ trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
    3. AQUALIBRIUM (ak wa lib’ re um) n. The point where the stream of drinking fountain water is at its perfect height, thus relieving the drinker from (a) having to suck the nozzle, or (b) squirting himself in the eye (or ear).
    4. BURGACIDE (burg’ uh side) n. When a hamburger can’t take any more torture and hurls itself through the grill into the coals.
    5. BUZZACKS (buz’ aks) n. People in phone marts who walk around picking up display phones and listening for dial tones even when they know the phones are not connected.
    6. CARPERPETUATION (kar’ pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
    7. DIMP (dimp) n. A person who insults you in a cheap department store by asking, “Do you work here?”
    8. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt’) v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, somehow assuming this will ‘remove’ all the germs.
    9. ECNALUBMA (ek na lub’ ma) n. A rescue vehicle which can only be seen in the rearview mirror.
    10. EIFFELITES (eye’ ful eyetz) n. Gangly people sitting in front of you at the movies who, no matter what direction you lean in, follow suit.
    11. ELBONICS (el bon’ iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.
    12. ELECELLERATION (el a cel er ay’ shun) n. The mistaken notion that the more you press an elevator button the faster it will arrive.
    13. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.
    14. LACTOMANGULATION (lak’ to man gyu lay’ shun) n. Manhandling the “open here” spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the ‘illegal’ side.
    15. NEONPHANCY (ne on’ fan see) n. A fluorescent light bulb struggling to come to life.
    16. PEPPIER (pehp ee ay’) n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.
    17. PETROPHOBIC (pet ro fob’ ik) adj. One who is embarrassed to undress in front of a household pet.
    18. PHONESIA (fo nee’ zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
    19. PUPKUS (pup’ kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.
    20. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay’ shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you’re only six inches away.
     
  2. nudeyorker

    Gold Member

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    Touron ... tur on(moronic tourists)
     
  3. Principessa

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    Boobage - any bra, dress, tank top, or swimsuit which has a built in padded bra.
     
  4. Mattness

    Mattness New Member

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    These are very funny!

    I guess you weren't an HBO subscriber in the 80's when Rich Hall had his 15 minutes of fame with his "Sniglets" craze, inventing words for things that didn't have words. Like the little button in your refrigerator that turns the light on and off and things like that.

    He's published several books and has had several specials on TV and does stand up.

    Here's his Bio: Rich Hall - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    ...and here's some of his stand up: YouTube - Broadcast Yourself.

    He's pretty funny!
     
  5. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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  6. Scrufuss

    Scrufuss New Member

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    Did you mean Boobcage or Boobage, babe?
     
  7. Scrufuss

    Scrufuss New Member

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    Thanks for the links, Matness. But alas I was in HS in the early eighties.
    I posted those words because I was going through my OLD ANCIENT floppys [the smaller rigid type...] transferring archives to DVD's and discovered a bunch of archived HTML docs I made shortly after I discovered Windows 3.11.
    Rich Hall does look familiar now that I see his face.
    Thanks, again
     
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