2004 Conventions Schedules

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by Pecker, Sep 8, 2004.

  1. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
    Gold Member

    Mar 5, 2002
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    2004 Republican National Convention Schedule

    New York, NY

    6:00 PM Opening Prayer, led by the Rev. Jerry Falwell
    6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance
    6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)
    6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
    6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting your kid a military deferment
    7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong
    7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries
    7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury, it's what's for dinner
    8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
    8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
    8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your children
    8:30 PM Roundtable discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)
    8:50 PM Seminar #2: Corporations: the government of the future
    9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "I Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"
    9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong
    9:10 PM EPA Address #2 Trees: the real cause of forest fires
    9:30 PM Break for secret meetings
    10:00 PM Second prayer, led by Cal Thomas
    10:15 PM Lecture by Karl Rove: Doublespeak made easy
    10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration: How to squint and talk macho
    10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark deer-in-headlights stare
    10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory Kevlar chastity belt
    10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black Republicans
    10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong
    10:50 PM Seminar #3: Education: a drain on our nation's economy
    11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Pinata
    11:20 PM Second John Ashcroft Lecture: Evolutionists: the dangerous new cult
    11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again
    11:35 PM Blame Clinton
    11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies
    11:50 PM Closing Prayer, led by Jesus Himself
    12:00 AM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

    2004 Democratic National Convention Schedule

    Boston, MA

    6:00 PM - Opening Flag Burning Ceremony
    6:05 PM - Pledge of Allegiance to the U.N.
    6:15 PM - Secular Prayers by Rev. Jesse Jackson and Rev. Al Sharpton
    6:30 PM - Antiwar Concert by Barbara Streisand
    6:40 PM - Ted Kennedy Proposes a Toast
    7:00 PM - Tribute to France
    7:10 PM - Collect Offerings for al-Zawahri Defense Fund
    7:25 PM - Tribute to Germany
    7:45 PM - Antiwar Rally (Moderated by Michael Moore)
    8:25 PM - Ted Kennedy Proposes a Toast
    8:30 PM - Terrorist Appeasement Workshop
    9:00 PM - Roundtable Discussion of Taxes: "Calling for Higher Taxes on Others While You Pay None"
    9:15 PM - Bill & Hillary Clinton Host a Seminar on "The Successful Selling of White House & Air Force One Mementos on eBay"
    9:20 PM - Gay Marriage Ceremony (Both Male and Female Couples)
    9:30 PM - * Intermission * Special Guest Soloist Jane Fonda
    10:00 PM - Posting the Iraqi Colors by Sean Penn and Tim Robbins
    10:10 PM - Reenactment of Kerry's Fake Medal Toss
    10:20 PM - Howard Dean Screamfest 'Yeeearrrrrrrg!'
    10:30 PM - Seminar: "The Boy Scouts and Other Paramilitary threats to National Security"
    10:40 PM - Ted Kennedy Proposes a Toast
    10:45 PM - Abortion Demonstration (NARAL)
    11:00 PM - Multiple Gay Marriage Ceremony (Threesomes, Mixed and Same-Sex)
    11:15 PM - 'Maximizing Welfare' Workshop
    11:30 PM - 'Free Saddam' Pep Rally
    11:50 PM - Ted Kennedy Proposes a Toast
    12:00 AM - Kerry-Edwards 2004 Sealed With A Kiss
    12:01 AM - Ted Kennedy Proposes a Toast
    12:02 AM - Ted Kennedy Proposes a Toast
  2. ponybilt

    ponybilt Active Member

    May 25, 2004
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    Ummm.... Actually, Ted's first toast was proposed at 6:40 AM, not PM.

  3. SpeedoGuy

    Gold Member

    May 18, 2004
    Likes Received:
    Pacific Northwest, USA
    I'm glad to see there's still a sense of humor during the national political season.

  4. jonb

    Gold Member

    Oct 5, 2002
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    LOL But actually, flag burning's like clitoridectomy: It almost invariably occurs in other countries, so even if you could ban it, you wouldn't do anything. (Oh well, Schwarzenegger thinks governments can tax governments.) Also, I'm sure you mean "gay not-marriage not-ceremony". LOL
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