21yo virgin

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by nick19, Nov 10, 2009.

  1. nick19

    nick19 New Member

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    hey people
    im 21 years old, and sadly im still a virgin. I have been in relationships before but sex never came up. i have just started seeing this chick and would like to go all the way with her. im just nervous as hell that I dont know what Im doing and dont want to fuck it up. I have kissed chicks before but never been there. On the first time do guys usually go down on the chick before sex? or just go straight for it?
     
  2. Pendlum

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    There is no definitive game plan. Not every girl likes oral. Figure out what she likes. It's called talking. We don't know what she likes, so why are you asking us? So again, talk to her about it.
     
  3. craig_uk

    craig_uk Member

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    I would definitely not recommend 'going straight in'. Plenty of foreplay, take your time, be gentle, find out what she likes and what you like. Sex is a lot more than just a quick fuck. Plenty of foreplay and yes I would expect to go down on her but make sure she is ok with it.
     
  4. scorpiokc

    scorpiokc New Member

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    What works for any couple is unique to them, no game book, whatever you're both comfortable with, it'll be good. You won't fuck it up.
     
  5. whatadork

    whatadork New Member

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    For going down on a girl... you should understand while most girls LIKE having a guy give them oral sex, a lot of girls would rather you not do it because they're self conscious about how they might smell or taste.

    As for what to do: it should be pretty obvious. Starting step is usually kissing, ending step is usually intercourse. In between is "fun" on her upper body (touching/kissing), followed by "fun" on the lower body (touching/kissing). Then oral sex (if she wants).

    just remember you gotta read her cues and act accordingly. if you do more than what she wants or suddenly jump into something then it's a big turn off. so what you do is SLOWLY push the envelope. do something she obviously enjoys for a while and then slowly move on to the next step. if she responds positively then good, do that for a while and then when you feel the time is right, push slightly into the next step you want to take. if she doesn't react well, then back off a step. generally what you want to do is make HER want to move on to the next step.
     
  6. pcghabsy

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    This is the best advise you can get. Communication is key!
     
  7. B_JosephSmith

    B_JosephSmith New Member

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    If it makes you feel any better: I am 27 and also still a virgin, so you are better off than me.
     
  8. hung

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    What is the rush. I engaged in sexual intercourse with a female when I first married at age 25.

    Prior to that I practiced very safe sex. I always washed my hands prior to masturbation.

    You will know what to do when the right one comes along.

    I wish you well and do not ever have a timetable.
     
  9. Twistbarbie

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    which is great if you're both good at communicating. Not all women, especially if she's inexperienced is confident to say or to demonstrate what she wants.

    whatadork wrote is good but also beware if she backs off it could be because she doesn't like and conversely because she does like it but she's unsure of how/what to do, how to react to what she's feeling. If you know your girl you'll hopefully pick up on this.

    Try and relax :wink:
     
    #9 Twistbarbie, Nov 11, 2009
    Last edited: Nov 11, 2009
  10. finsuptx

    finsuptx New Member

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    Just relax and don't heap so much pressure on yourself. Talk with her, and gently explore what she wants. If she's vastly more experienced than you, then she will likely let you know what she wants. Mostly, just relax...
     
  11. Nkw17

    Nkw17 Member

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    Im 22 I planned to lose mine at 14 but just like you I get nervous. I just need to find somebody I feel comfortable with until I lose mine.
     
  12. sargon20

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    That's all well and good however after a certain point when all your peers have crossed that bridge it becomes more and more problematic especially if you are a male.
     
  13. kbas9000

    kbas9000 Well-Known Member

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    21 is not a bad age to still be a virgin. I lost mine at 23, big deal. Just make sure when you do lose it, you do it safe and hopefully without regret.
     
  14. hud01

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    Nina Hartley has some good vids on what to do. You can buy them, or some are on the tube sites. There are books which can give you an idea.

    Amazon.com: How to Make Love to a Woman (9780517605257): Michael Morgenstern: Books

    Amazon.com: How to Drive Your Woman Wild in Bed (Signet) (9780451156570): Graham Masterton: Books

    You can search for more.
     
  15. Smooth88

    Smooth88 New Member

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    Dude being 21 and a virgin is not that big a deal. Trust my ask anyone whos a vet of this site and the can bring up my misadventures with women over the past couple of years. As Ive matured (somewhat) from an emo, insecure boy. To less insecure, sexually frustrated, open, and somewhat pervy man. Its all good bro. I realized a I was too scared and not really ready and that I have standards to who I date and hook up with and I dont like a woman whos too forward or easy. Im not looking for someone special persay. Im just looking for something thats gonna be not just a one time thing. Hopefully continuing and want to do it with someone I could see myself legitimately dating and not some slore who would make me feel ashamed and kicking myself like WTF was I thinking. hung is right. Although I think the washing the hands before masturbation is a little OD.
     
  16. D_Ernest Hummingway

    D_Ernest Hummingway New Member

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    truth is , sex is great when u have it, but it is too over rated. dont pressurize yourself, when the time is right, you would get enought of it. take your time, there's no race competition tagged "i have had sex and u haven't" take your time son.
     
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