Wide, relax son. I just went thru a divorce lost my house filing for bankruptcy. You know what? The Sun will come up tomorrow. Not belittling what you are going thru. I am there with you. It puts things in perspective when you are cutting a neighbors grass because she has breast cancer and the Chemo almost killed her. Now a death can throw a person a curve ball so find someone to talk with and move thru that at your own pace.
If you heart rate stay up like that, see a good family Dr or internal med guy. You may need some meds or just someone to talk to.
Good luck and treasure your virginity. I waited and cannot say how glad I did. It is a once in a lifetime experience and needs to be with someone very special.