:)

Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by Mumzi, Feb 21, 2006.

  1. Mumzi

    Mumzi New Member

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    I'm just stopping by to say hello. I happened upon this site quite accidently. I was listening to a radio program that talked about Labiaplasty . I am a nurse who does home & birthing center deliveries and I see my share of labia's. So I was wondering what this surgery looked like.

    I did a search on the net and found quite a few photos and info on the procedure. I suppose it might be necessary if the lips did become stretched enough to cause pain; and I suppose there could be cosmetic needs.
    Yes, I had to grab a mirror and check mine- I seem to be in tip top shape!

    However somewhere in the search I found a link to this group. I have to admit that at first I thought it was a joke.
    But after some time reading the forums, it appeared that this is more of a place where human sexuality is discussed in a very relaxed, friendly manor.
    There surely is a need for that!

    On the other hand; my hubby measures somewhere between 8-8.5, but we measured that 20 some years ago when we were first married; and if I remember correctly, we were both laughing at the entire idea. We may have had a few drinks- as I remember,and I was a lot more shy about sex than he.
    But it was a different time and there was no net. My husband is a Psychiatrist; so I'm sure he learned the average penis length in med school, but otherwise there was not much info or much discussion about penis size in 'our' every day world anyway.

    As far as we were concerned, I know that the first few weeks we had regular intercourse it was tight. Of course we had plenty of lubrication and I had no problem lubricating. Within a month or so I'd adjusted fine and size, or at least width was not an issue anymore.

    But to this day I could never sit on him ...unless... I lay forward. There is always a few inches at the base that are just not going to fit without causing me abdominal pain. Not going to fit...period.

    One of the easiest positions would be: he behind me; that would allow him to thrust and not worry about how far he might go. We also discovered that a bed such as the air inflated (select comfort) can make a difference. Just as you might suggest a couple use a pillow under her hips to get deeper penetration, if the bed is very soft and her hips sink low, this seems to allow more room simply because the buns are so low. I do like my side of the bed soft, so guess who gets to sleep on the 'wet spot' side most of the time. lol

    This is something we initially discovered with our water bed. It was a king with dual bladders (mattresses that held the water) so it allowed each person to fill the bed to the position that they found more comfortable. I always tended to like the softer mattress, while my husband liked it firmer.

    As far as penis size and sex; I'm going to have to say that "who that penis is attached to" makes all the difference.
    A man who knows something about the female body is surely going to make a difference, and even a young man who has no experience can use the net to look up this info.
    I'd also suggest sticking around women's sites and listen to what they discuss amongst themselves;especially when they may feel freer to talk about their body AND you guys!

    mumzi
     
  2. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    LPSG is now complete. We finally have a Mumsi.

    Welcome. Hope you stick around here for a while.
     
  3. windtalkerways

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    Hello Mumsi.

    What an interesting introductory post.

    I echo Pecker...please do stick around.
     
  4. B_Jeremy

    B_Jeremy New Member

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    Greeting Mumzi! Now I must get my mom back to posting. I think her account has a few layers of dust.
     
  5. Mumzi

    Mumzi New Member

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    I thought maybe I could get my hubby to post here, but he is busy, and most of the time he has little patience for the computer because other than business programs, he rarely uses it.

    I remember the night we measured him. Looking back I'm sure it was his idea.
    We had been putting up paint and wall paper in the den that week and there was a wooden yardstick there.
    For some reason (probably because it had been in the garage and I was afraid of invisible bugs) I decided I wanted to use the cloth tape measurer. I took off looking for it.
    I was rummaging through drawers in one room- and then on to the next room.

    Meanwhile my husbands erection is going to sleep, and he wasn't far behind.
    So, I gave in and we used the ratty wooden yardstick. Why it bothered me so much is a mystery now that I look back.

    The other night I asked him if the night we measured him was the first time he measured his penis......Of course not!
    It was all for my benefit! Which I can appreciate a lot more now that I'm older.

    I hadn't thought about that night for many, many years- until I saw this site.

    mumzi
     
  6. RideRocket

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    Welcome and enjoy the group!
     
  7. summertime01

    summertime01 New Member

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    hI, Mumzi,
    Well, at the risk of some folks recognizing me, I will, finally, come out & admit that I'm in the same identical line of work (homebirth & all, have done a few hospital births but feel in a foreign environment there!) as you & have been for going on sooo many years now. You are so right that penis size was not discussed way back when, and I, yes even I, being in healthcare & the line of work that you & I are in, had no idea that penis size was varied (well, I had only worked w/ women's healthcare & accomodating their partner's penis had never ever come up!). Welll, it certinaly did for me w/ my now fiance as we had some consideralbe difficulty the first 3 months. Well, you can look back throuah all my posts since I joined in Feb 05 & view all my posts, and see that my fiance is now my only 2nd partner. I wish healthcare training/A&P classes or some kind of sexaulity issues classes would at least acknowledge that penis size does indeed vary & there can be some situations where a client/s need additional resources, etc. I have come out occasionally & givnen medical advice, so to speak, but am highly visible in my community & have hesitated to say any more until now. I enjoy this site so much & have encouraged clients (i hate the word patients) to do searches on the internet for sexuality issues. Maybe I'll come out more & actually give this site's address. So & huge welcome to another midwife! I so enjoy our line of work!
    summertime
     
  8. summertime01

    summertime01 New Member

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    By the way, Mumzi, I'd be interenst in conversing w/ you privatetly, I'm not able to get on here as often as I'd like, usually just a couple times/week. Have a great weekend! I have no one due at the moment, so I'm going out of town.
     
  9. D_Barbi_Queue

    D_Barbi_Queue Account Disabled

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    Welcome Mumzi. We'll be glad to have you here.
     
  10. Mumzi

    Mumzi New Member

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    I don't think it ever gets boring. Each baby is a much anticipated arrival to the mom and dad, no mater how many they've had prior. Hospitals have come a long way in making the expectant mom comfortable, but it is now more about the doctor and often physicians have little time to be there every moment and cater to the patient. I think that is the goal of the midwife, a natural, comfortable but safe delivery.

    When I first read posts on this site, it was the many threads on how deep the vagina was. I saw some posts that shocked me- such as those who thought they were entering the cervix. I suppose it is a good thing guests cannot post... because I was ready to post one of those irate posts one rattles off before thinking. Now I can see it was just inexperience.

    But I have never had a problem examining a woman with my fingers. Hot/warm baths are good pain control and I've checked cervix's in the tub.
    ( like I'd want to argue with a woman in transition- they want to stay in the tub, that's ok!)
    The average vagina being between 3-6 inches, I'd say most are 4-5.
    (Though the vagina is not smooth and has mini folds that expand to add some elasticity. The cervix is pretty much the end of the vagina, but actually the cervix extends down maybe 1/4 inch; so there is some space around the cervix, like a mote.
    Yes, guys, you could penetrate slightly to either side- that aspect of the vaginal anatomy could allow you some extra space).

    Still,even in places like nursing school there had not been much said about the penis and vagina in the way of sex education.
    There may be more now, but the most we studied would have been diseases of the penis. The basic reproduction, and things that might inhibit reproduction.

    I asked my husband if size was talked about in med school; and no it was not.
    (other than things like ambiguous genitalia-other birth issues)
    Though there were many photos of penises with various issues, (STD's, etc) but they were flaccid. Even flaccid penis come in different sizes.
    But he tells me that guys knew if they happen to be around other guys who discussed it, but there were no classes on size.
    There were classes on things like Vaginismus- a tight vagina or vaginal spasms.
    Sexual dysfunction was addressed.
    (just for the heck of it, I just check one site for the explanation/cause of vaginismus
    and nowhere does it say anything about the male being larger and possibly all that is needed is patience).
    I could see where someone who might be inexperienced might see a doctor with this type of symptom. Or similar symptom, and I wonder if the question of size would come up.

    Before I met my husband I'd had 3 partners and I was married at 22. I did need to be in some sort of relationship to have sex, that was important to me. My hubby and I lived together while we planned our wedding ( or was that our parents that ended up doing that? :/ So, that was about 4 months. I can't say I ever looked that much at a former partner. I also never had oral sex with anyone else.

    First time he and I had intercourse, I think I thought I'd shrunk, or I wasn't lubricated enough....or I wasn't experienced enough.
    But he knew he was just bigger. He didn't tell me that at the time tho. I don't think he thought much about it, he was patient. It was a good month until I didn't feel as tight. And really, the vagina is very elastic, we give birth to some big babies. Even though hormones at the time help to allow more elasticity.
    About six months after we were married we ended up talking about size and measured him. Still, it wasn't discussed that much in 'my' world and when I asked him, he said it wasn't much in his either except for some male friends.

    Now- I think it is talked about more because of the Internet. This is obliviously a good thing , information is never a bad thing.

    I get questions about sex from my moms now and then, but often it is about safety.
    They worry about the baby, and many don't realize the the uterus contracts during orgasm. When you are in the third trimester and that belly begins to contract, many freak. Then you have braxton hicks contractions, false labor, and that seems to be when they begin to fear sex in general.

    I wouldn't worry too much about sex and size. I think once you are totally comfortable, your body and mind will just fall into place.
    I really think it was better that size was not an issue for me; I was blissfully ignorant! It might have been a tad easier because he is not circumcised. But still, being well lubricated is most important.
    AND we know how much our mind can affect the body, if you are worried about something, it may be more of a problem because of that.
     
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